Nearer My God To Thee

Robbye Bentley Volunteers To Rebuild New Orleans

"I'm using my frequent flier miles," she says. "I've already booked my trip for mid-April, and I'm going to stay a week. I think it will give me a great perspective of the real world, I can't wait to take my camera."

Trinity James Update

The ex-porn star joined up with the XXXChurch five months ago and blogs March 9:

My decision to leave Las Vegas and to leave the adult industry was a very hard on to make but at the same time it has came with its ups and downs.

I dont feel like I am being used or feel like I am dirty. I have gotten to see my little girls face every morning and every night wish is a blessing in itself. I have gotten to make a few normal friends and live a normal life for about 5 months now except the problem is for most of it I have been a wreck going day by day. Some mornings I wake up in a decent mood but by afternoon I am back to being depressed and some days I just wake up that way I have tried everything to change it but everytime I get through some of it more is piled up on top off me.

I have made some good accomplishments though I got through my CNA course and now I am taking a medical assisting course and I have already gotten a decent job.

I feel like I have let alot of people down it has been hinted to me that my husband wouldnt of married me knowing that he would of had all this responsibility (which i still dont understand) and also that I was the one that told him that I would take care of him that is why he stayed in Vegas.

Now from the outside people would think things are getting settled for us finally he has opened his business and I have a job at the end of this month well thats all great except for one thing we are totally different people now and no one is at fault but myself. I honestly feel like I should of never done this.

I knew I couldnt do it alone and i didnt think I was alone but that is what has happened. I am in a place [Indiana] where I dont feel comfortable and I am just fighting it all alone.

Somedays I wish that I would just have never gotten into the industry....one thing that I havent missed in awhile is the thought of going back I hadnt thought about it in a while which is a good thing but this morning when I woke up that was the first thing in my mind and there are many reasons for it.

I could take care of myself again and not have to count on anyone my husband could still be the only person other than my child to look forward to seeing my face....all i see anymore is disappointment and I know that is not good.

I need to feel like I am needed and I am not anymore.

I could leave my husband and go to a place where noone knows me and start all over..but then would i not only be unhappy i would have a broken heart to go along with it but to tell ya the truth that is the best solution I have came up with. If I am so wanted here why all the stress..why all the unhappiness I have so many why's and honestly no answers to them I have so many questions I wanna ask but no point in asking them and when I do ask I get the same ole answers and they really arent answers they are just answers to validate what is going on, maybe I am just crazy who knows.

XXXChurch Goes To Gay Expo

We have just been invited to attend the Gay Erotic Expo in New York coming this October. We have accepted (even got a 50% discount on our booth space) and now XXXchurch will be there.

JC's Girls Update

HeatherVeitch: I had the BEST day at church my Pastor called the whole church of 1700 to get up out of there seats and come down to the front to support me.
HeatherVeitch: he told them that he was drawing a line in the sand and that they were going to be for me or against me but he would not pastor a church where they were against me
Luke: Good Morning America?
HeatherVeitch: no it never happend but I have some big dogs in the water some unexpected ones I have to keep it secret. I want to make sure it really is going to happen HeatherVeitch: I started a lot of stuff in england you should read my blog later and see what is going on
HeatherVeitch: I also had my first experience with bad media... these guys kept trying to get me naked . The pics are at mbpicturesnews.com
HeatherVeitch: they were bad boys that acted like they didnt know who I was but they were really tring to get me doing something that they could put out bad about me
HeatherVeitch: so do you think I should go to porn kareokee one day? whould you go with me?
Luke: sure I would go with you
HeatherVeitch: that would be fun... do you sing?
Luke: no
HeatherVeitch: I cant sing at all . so we could not sing and not drink togather
HeatherVeitch: i looked and looked for any of my old low budget movies but I couldn't find them ....that was so great! because they are going to be so hard to find . People keep searching for them but there is so much out there it is just too hard