Nearer My God To Thee

Holly Randall Throws Me A 40th Birthday Party

Derrick Pierce, Lexxi Tyler Lexxi, Eric Mittleman Derrick, Lexxi Lexxi, Justin Levine Lexxi, Justin Heather Veitch of JCsGirls Martina Warren Martina Warren Martina Warren Martina, Luke Y. Thompson Martina, Luke Y. Thompson Martina, Luke Y. Thompson Heather Veitch, Steve Aria Giovanni, Luke Thompson Aria Giovanni, Luke Y. Thompson Aria, Justin Aria, Luke Thompson Aria, Justin Crystal Klein, Adam Grayson Crystal, Adam Shay Laren, Crissy Klein Shay, Crissy Jamie Lynn and her mom Lisa Lisa, Jamie Penthouse girls Penthouse girls Penthouse girls Penthouse girls Crystal Klein, Luke Crystal Klein, Luke Crissy, Luke Crissy, Holly bring out my birthday cake, Holly tries in vain to keep the 40 candles from blowing out Justin, Crissy, Holly Crissy, Holly Lexxi, Luke Lexxi, Luke, Rich (Crystal's fiance) Lexxi, Luke, Rich Lexxi, Luke Shay Laren Shay Laren Crystal Klein, Shay Laren Shay Laren Crystal, Shay Shay Shay Crystal, Shay smoke Shay Laren smokes Lexxi, Luke Crystal, Shay Crystal Crystal, Shay Crystal, Shay Crystal, Shay Crystal, Shay Holly Randall, Derrick Pierce Holly in her garden Holly and her sister Lucy Luke Luke Thompson, Justin Levine Derrick Pierce, Lexxi Tyler Crystal Klein, Martina Warren Derrick, Lexxi, Luke Luke, Crystal Klein Martina Warren Charlie Lain, Onyx gang Justine Jolie, DCypher gang Luke Luke Luke Jamie Lynn, Charlie Laine Martina, Lisa, Shay, Crissy Lexxi, Luke Shay Laren Luke Holly Randall pic pic

A few days ago, Holly invited me to a barbeque at her home May 29. I said I had another barbie then but I could definitely stop by.

She asked me if I was committing to stopping by. I said yes.

The next day, she told me to invite Kendra Jade and another porn girl. I did.

She told me to invite Joanna Angel. I did.

(Neither Kendra nor Joanna showed.)

She told me to invite a couple (or did she say a "few"?) friends.

I thought I was noticing a trend and so I invited over a dozen friends. That was my way of showing my gratitude and making the event splendid.

I gave Holly a panic attack. She had wanted to keep things small yet I had seemingly invited everybody, including a few people who hate me (I was trying to patch things up with a good will gesture).

Holly has a huge heart. She's generous with her money and time. She often feels generous impulses and offers to do things that she later regrets or forgets.

By not checking with her about how many people I was inviting (I did the same thing at a dinner Sunday night, telling my host and restaurant a dozen when 16 showed and another four were invited), I imposed on her.

To appreciate that this is a big deal, remember Holly was throwing this party at her own home. How'd you like a bunch of strangers tramping around your house and possibly stealing and damaging things and dropping cigarette butts throughout the garden?

Remember that Holly usually lives by herself. Over the past couple of weeks, she's added about six houseguests.

Remember that Holly runs the Suze Randall business.

Remember that Holly quit drinking (completely) three months ago yet she'd be providing plenty of booze at the party for anyone who wanted it.

Now you can appreciate how Holly felt when I started naming off the people I invited.

Well, I arrived at 3:15 p.m. Monday. A few of my friends were already there (Luke Y. Thompson, Heather Veitch and friend Steve, as well Eric Mittleman).

Thompson gave me the Air Supply: The Ultimate Performance DVD which I insist on playing immediately to the dismay of Holly, her brother Rob and company.

After 20 minutes, somebody turns up Sting loud in the dining room and I eject my DVD.

My friend Cathy told me she wouldn't come to the party because it sounded too "porny." So I keep asking Luke if the party is too "porny" for him. He says, "You can't get too porny for me."

I'm joined by DCypher (who's come to all my parties, both of them) and his girlfriend Justine Jolie, Ben Sullivan, Justin Levine, Lexxi Tyler and boyfriend Derrick Pierce, Adam Grayson, Mike Allen...

Heather's breasts aren't bigger. I'm just not used to seeing her in a tube top. Normally we go to church or synagogue together and she dresses conservatively (at my request).

She wants a new boob job. And a tummy tuck.

I noticed some models avoiding her but nobody was mean to her.

At temple, Heather was surprised that Jewish guys seemed even more eager for her once they knew she was not Jewish. "I can't imagine going to church and after telling someone that I was not Christian, they would go, 'Really? I love forbidden fruit.'"

On his Playboy radio show (DVD reviews), Adam Grayson is not allowed to review gay porn because he's told that his audience is overwhelmingly heterosexual.

Adam says he's widely regarded as "the world's most polite pornographer."

Joey Silvera says I'm the most honest photographer in the business. I capture how the girls really look. If they look good despite my photography, then he's eager to book them.

Joey's been enjoying my site for about as long as it's been up (since 1997-98).

Martina Warren and her husband launched pornvalleycash.com two weeks ago. Her husband concentrates on the photography and marketing and Martina does the html (despite never have picked up a book on the topic nor taken a class, she says).

Luke: "How do you get girls [to do their sites with you]?"

Martina: "It helps being Pet of the Year (2005). A lot of girls look up to you and want to be like you. Most of them contact me through MySpace. I have almost 11,000 MySpace friends. I've only been MySpaceing for about five months.

"I had a dream that I got booted from MySpace. I woke up in the morning and wondered if it was a dream or not, so I logged in to MySpace.

"I've been modeling since I was three. When I was 16, a friend built me a porfolio website online. I felt bad asking him to put new pictures on, so I just though I'd do it myself. I learned from watching him."

Holly was a generous host. She prepared food specially suited for my finicky tastes. It was delicious. She bought me a cake with name on it. She gave me a kettle and a wooden box with 80 herbal tea bags.

How did she know what I wanted most?

(Sunday night, May 28, Holly told me: "My problem in finding a gift for most people I know is what do you get for the person who has everything. My problem with you is what do I get for the person who has nothing.")

She'd gotten up at 7:30 a.m. to continue her preparations for the party.

I contributed nothing but my charisma and my friends. She brought in about 30 of her people.

Holly seemed exhausted all afternoon but she maintained a kind and giving spirit.

If I did not invite you to this party, please forgive me, but as you have read by now, I far exceeded my limits on my guests (many of whom could not make it to the party because of a fuel tanker spill on the 405 South). Though Holly may appear insatiable and divine, her boundaries and abilities are of this world.

I emailed Lainie Speiser, Penthouse publicist, to send her girls and she did all that and more -- Jamie Lynn (2006 Penthouse Pet of the Year who brought her mom Lisa), Martina Warren (2005 POY), and Charlie Laine.

I tell friends that I asked Holly the other night if I could buy her a drink.

"No," she said. "Alcohol is not good for my legs."

"Why? It makes them swell?" I ask.

"No," she replies. "It makes them spread."

After a few cups of water, I talk about watching United 93 earlier in the day and how it had moved me to want to lead my country in a time of crisis. I want to be the guy in the military control room wearing a uniform and yelling, "Scramble the fighters! Get me the president! I want every flight path!"

I went to the movie with a 17yo girl (and her mom) who was at my book party in August 2004. "How's that nice director?" the girl asks me about Ron Sullivan.

"He had ten hours of colon cancer surgery," I reply.

"Is that because he did too many anal scenes?" she asks.

Shay Laren, Holly and company said that on a hijacked airplane, I'd likely be the guy locking himself in the restroom and sobbing into the phone to his mother, "I love you so much."

They don't see me as the "Let's roll" type of guy.

I want to be the alpha male but I don't want to work at it.

Though she suffers from intermittent PMS depression, Holly the Superwoman maintains a stiff upper lip British-style and does not like to admit she ever needs help (she's more resistant to needing someone than I am and I was raised in outback Australia by Aboriginees). She won't take psychiatric medication and she won't listen to Air Supply. Sunday, however, she fed her dog Poe doggie downers prescribed by the vet. Without such medication, Poe would've created a ruckus, if not bitten people. Under the medication, Poe moped around, his limbs shaking. In a triumph of will over pharmacology, Poe was still too much trouble for a while and Holly had to lock him upstairs.

HollyRandall: you made it sound like a mean dog owner
HollyRandall: the reason i locked him upstairs was because of Kelle's baby
HollyRandall: i doubt he would have done anything but i don't need to take chances-- Poe isn't used to children
HollyRandall: he was happy to eat scraps and get petted by everyone
HollyRandall: his leg shakes because of that stupid operation that didn't work

Shay Laren says, "You smile more than I expected. When you interviewed me, I thought you were a grouch. You were so condescending."

We had a lousy telephone interview a month ago. Shay was hungover. I could barely stay awake.

Shay: "I thought you were making fun of me."

Crystal: "That is how he is."

Shay: "I'd say something and you'd go [in a bored voice], 'Huh huh.' I know I wasn't interesting. It was in the morning. I was in the airport. There was this little girl crawling around beside me.

"Lainie called me and said I was going to be interviewed for Penthouse. I thought it'd be some random dude, 'What's your wildest sexual experience?' You always lie about those questions."

Crystal: "Lainie said to me, what are we going to do? Get him drunk. But you don't understand that.

"I'm going to be such a good psycho-therapist. I read you instantly."

Shay: "I could definitely tell you were a grump. You're Jewish, so you do need therapy."

Crystal sits on my lap while smoking her cigarette and drinking her beer.

Shay: "You're better looking than I expected."

Holly walks up.

Luke: "What's the matter, honey? Show me on the bottle where it hurts."

Holly: "Enough with your psychobabble."

Much of the table (Crystal, Rich, Shay etc) is smoking pot and drinking beer.

Luke: "Holly, the sausages are great."

Holly: "You'd love them. They're pork wrapped in bacon."

Luke: "How disrespectful can you get to my religious heritage?"

Holly: "I can get way more disrespectful."

Shay has an amazing complexion.

I roll my eyes as Shay praises Holly.

Luke: "Come on. You felt exploited and degraded."

I'm shouted down.

Holly: "Speaking of exploited and degraded, do you want your cake?"

Rich: "With 40 fricking candles on it?"

Aria Giovanni (who's shy and subdued) is Holly's right-hand man preparing for the party and cleaning up afterwards. Aria's a regular Martha Stewart.

Shay: "I hate it that people such as yourself call it porn."

Laren's worked four weeks straight. "I hate working for [a photographer] who's low-energy because it brings you down. Photographers who are uncomfortable with what they're doing. They'd rather be doing mainstream stuff and they hate it and it's so obvious."

Shay, 20: "Look at Rich (39yo). He looks 15. You look way older [because I wear a dress shirt and carry myself with dignity]."

The ladies make remarks disparaging my masculinity.

Luke: "If you put on Air Supply, I'll be as hard as a rock."

Shay: "Let's not put it on."

I promise Shay and Crissy that if they follow me, I'll make them fishers of men.

Luke Thompson: "Can you make me a fisher of women?"

Holly: "No, he can't help you with that."

Crissy complains about my photography.

Luke: "I capture the real you. I capture what Rich wakes up to in the morning."

Crissy: "I want the fantasy."

Luke: "I live in truth."

Holly's webmaster walks up with his gorgeous wife. "I'm trying to go Hollywood dirty boy," he says, "but it's not working."

Shay and Crissy claim that their Hawaiin male friends relate to them as human beings rather than as sexual objects.

Crissy: "Not like you, Luke. You bring it up all the time. You have a big porn collection in your garage."

Derrick: "Living in a garage. That must be your choice."

Luke: "I don't have much money because I don't work for other people. I want to pursue the truth."

Derrick: "Don't try to sound noble. You chose to live in a garage. You could do better and you chose not to. Just because you blog or write, you're still published in an Adult venue."

Lexxi: "And yet you're against Adult."

Luke: "I am not in porn. I am just a social commentator."

Crissy: "What barbeque are you at today? I want to understand why you chose to write about a business you claim to hate. In some way, you love it."

Shay: "He does. If you honestly hated it, you wouldn't be here."

Luke: "I choose to tackle pressing issues that confront our society."

Lexxi: "It's all about the free porn he gets and then goes and whacks off in his garage and denies it. He's a closet freak."

Derrick: "But not for more than half an hour."

Earlier in the day, I told Derrick that anyone who wanked to porn for more than half an hour a day had a problem.

Derrick: "If you whack off for more than half an hour, you're destroying society."

All limits are arbitrary. Drive 56mph in some places and you can get a ticket.

Shay: "Why is porn a pressing issue confronting society?"

Luke: "It weakens the family structure. It creates unrealistic expectations in men what a woman can provide sexually."

Crissy: "Sex is very out and open in Europe and they have less percentages of rape than the US and lower rates of teenage pregnancy."

Luke: "Europeans who move to the United States and their descendents have about the same rate of teenage pregnancy as do their relations who live in Europe. Certain ethnic groups which have a higher percentage in the US [such as blacks] have high illegitimacy rates.

"Europe is not a good moral example. The United States had to rescue them three times in the past century, from World War I, II and communism. That the U.S. is such a great moral force in the world is not unrelated to America's more conservative sexual ethic."

Crissy: "You are very intolerant."

Woman: "You have multiple personalities."

Crissy: "Who are you celebrating with? Porn stars. You are against everything we do."

Shay: "That's a contradiction."

Crissy: "If you look at his site, he's making fun of us. There will always be a line in there that is very sarcastic and expresses your contempt."

Woman: "That is what gossip columnists do."

I ask Shay about feminism but then she runs off to play the card game "Asshole."

Crissy says women have the power in porn.

Derrick: "I don't believe that anymore. To get a good scene, you have to get a good performance from the guy. If the girl is good and the guy is weak, it's a weak scene. If the girl is weak and the guy is strong, it's a strong scene. Everything relies on the male talent. If I don't do my job correctly, no matter how good you are, you are not going to look good."

Holly says that the men in porn are like Mexicans in the US. They do most of the hard work yet few people appreciate them.

Derrick: "If people are not sexually compatible, what are they? Friends. The difference between your best friend and your partner is that you have sex with your partner."

Shay's jealous at the number of longtime friends men have. "I'd rather have longterm [few] friends than lots of acquaintances. I hate it when you can't talk to someone on a real basis. Crystal is the only person on Maui I can call and say [the truth]."

I ask the table if men and women can be friends without one person wanting more.

Crissy Klein recalls the number of male friends she's had who she thought were only platonic friends until they made a move on her and when she rebuffed them, that ended the friendship.

Shay says men and women can be friends if they've had sex and become sick of having sex with each other.

Derrick claims he's friends with every girl he's dated.

Lexxi, a size two, says that his ex-girlfriends "shop at Layne-Bryant."

She menas that they are hefty.

Derrick: "She's the smallest girl I've dated.

"I wouldn't say they were hefty."

Lexxi: "I would. All of them, honey."

Derrick: "I dated them more for their personality."

When Lexxi's told she can't do something, she's liable to say: "I'm Lexxi Tyler. I can do whatever the f--- I want."

I leave at 8 p.m. as the nasty drinking games begin and guys persuade Holly to the table.

These are her friends? Let me flee before I kill them.

I despise the large number (the majority?) of Holly's putative friends who push her to drink and do drugs.

I despise anyone who tries to feed an addict substances that will destroy her.

I hate you. I loathe you. I spit on you.

Yes, I mean you, you very specific persons who push Holly (or anybody) to get drunk and get high. I hope you get run over by a truck. And then I pray to God that you burn in hell.

You are scum. You want to destroy your own pathetic lives? Go ahead. Don't take others with you. Drink your booze, do your drugs, and die.

There are so many horrible things that happen from drinking (the 15,000 or so road deaths a year alone) that I am ambivalent about whether or not America would be a better country with prohibition.

At least addicts to porn don't go out and murder.

Holly emails me:

I'm sorry I didn't have more time to talk to you or your friends (or anybody!) but I get like that when I'm hosting a party. It's like I go into work mode. Anyhow it was a good party and I'm glad I could feed you something you could eat.

I was using Aria's camera -- I get a new one probably Wednesday. I forget which one but I just told my ex at Samys to send me the best new digital point and shoot, so hopefully this one will take better pics.

And don't be too hard on my brother's friends enticing me into a drinking game -- they were wasted themselves and hadn't realized I'd stopped drinking (remember I kept it quiet). Once I explained that I really had quit and I wasn't joking, they felt bad and let me go. Thankfully we all got to bed at a decent time.

Cindi Loftus emails: "Luke, You look very happy in those pics. You also look very hot! Lack of lithium seems to agree with you, physically a least, lol. It was so nice of Holly to throw you a party. I hope you show her the appreciation she deserves. She's really a wonderful person, and will make a wonderful mother to your children some day!"

Chaim Amalek writes: "Sigh . . . Holly is such a sweetheart. She cooks for you, arranges parties for you, buys you things, smiles a lot, and is oh so cheerful and very very pretty. I still say the two of you were meant to be."

Pete writes:

Young Ms. Randall went all out. I ended up marrying the only woman to go to that kind of length for a birthday of mine. Your photos of Holly at the party are great. She may have been exhausted but she seems to glow when you photograph her. Maybe it's your lighting.

Cheryl Shuman: 'I've Known Many Celebrities, But None Are As Self-Absorbed As You!'

Luke, Cathy Chaim, Claude, Daniella, Taffy Hava Billy, Jenny Luke, Cheryl Cathy, Luke, Cheryl Chaim, Claude Nomi Fredricks, Harry, Hava Cathy, Luke Cathy, Luke, Cheryl Cathy, Luke, Cheryl Nomi, Luke, Cheryl Rob, Revital

Cheryl hosted all my Orthodox friends (both of them) and Cathy Seipp for dinner Sunday night, May 28, celebrating my 40th birthday.

Driving me home afterwards (I had so many presents it would've been awkward for me to have walked back), Cheryl said my narcissism and other character traits never cease to amaze her.

I told Cheryl (and the restaurant) that a dozen of my friends were coming. Sixteen showed up. Thank God the other four did not. Dinner ran $500. Thanks Cheryl!

The poor dear was counting heads, checking out their wine orders and wondering if she had enough cash.

She hardly said a peep all night, worried that I was going to bite her head off if she moved a muscle wrong.

I wasn't worried. I was too happy holding forth about myself.

When I was asked what book I'd brought to my own party (in case I got bored), I dug into my bag and produced Hitler Laughing: Humor in the Third Reich.

Silence fell across the room.

Asked what I wanted to achieve in my next decade, I said I wanted to become an even better jew and even more Torah observant.

As I sit alone at my keyboard Sunday night and ponder the state of my soul, I remember what the shrink told my family in Australia in 2000 about my relationships with the opposite sex: "Luke is capable of being exploitive."

A purportedly straight friend of mine from shul leaves me this note with his gift:

Levi, you are a man of deep knowledge and insight
Though some you meet would soon take flight
Having heard your words of wisdom and lessons from the Torah
I get home after Shabbat mornings and want to dance the Horah
Our discussions on the book we're reading are often heated and intense
Though your opinions on them are always honest, you never sit on the fence
But it's really your high morals and analysis of Rashi that I most admire
That draw me weekly to share Shabbat mornings with you -- the passion! the fire!

Luke says: All my friends brought presents, which is ironic because I never give gifts unless I'm passionately dating (or trying to date) the woman.

Cathy gave me the book How to be a Man.

My parents raised me to always thank people who've done me a kindness, so I emailed a buddy after the party:

Thank you for the lovely gift. Are you some kind of fag? Only fags give another guy a gift.

Only two things come from [his home state]. Steers and queers. Are you a queer, boy?

The Fire Of Holiness

An Orthodox Jew writes me:

There is a connection of lineage spiritually between the Aish Kodesh and the Izhbicer, as they all represent a current of Polish Hassidut through to Kotzk, etc, which tended towards more radical readings of text, and some very attractive ideas about theology. The fact that any liberal and progressive theology can be easily distorted is not a fair critique.

There is no connection between Aish Kodesh, written by R. Kolonymous Kalman Shapira, the Piaczezna Rebbe, in the Warsaw Ghetto and the Izhbitzer. Other than Rav Shlomo taught both. There could be a pun with sacred fire – or it could be a coincidence – a guy like Worsh probably believes that it is Divine providence.

Izhbitz is interesting – I have the books at home very difficult very obscure – you can claim that he is saying almost anything. He writes tersely and expects the reader to understand. He has some strange claims in the book which have gotten him in trouble – for example in Parshas Pinchas in the Mei Shiloch he says Pinchas was wrong for killing Zimri – who was actually performing a mitzvah by having illicit sexual relations (in public?) with kozbi. Pinchas the student of Moshe (prototype of the well meaning zealous yeshiva student) doesn’t understand the deeper spiritual Zimri, who has mystic calculations for his sordid behavior. Interesting that Gafni and Worsh may be attracted to such a Rebbi

Suze Vs. Jenna

I read Jenna's book a few months ago (it took me about eight hours). I read Suze's 1978 book Friday in two hours.

They have more in common than in what separates them. They both fit snugly into the porn star biography bracket.

The major differences:

* Jenna is porn's biggest star of all time. Suze is porn's biggest photographer of all time but the book stops before Suze's photography career blasts off. Suze needs a sequel.

* Cultural. Suze's book is laugh-at-the-pain British while Jenna's is Oprah-style American. There's not as much introspection and confession in Suze's work. Suze's book is a fun easy read with large sections for the wanker crowd. Jenna's book is a more challenging read and is about five times as long. She's more open about her life.

Suze's book is a laugh. Jenna bleeds.

* Generational. Suze's book was published when just being in porn was a big deal. Jenna's book comes out of an older, more accepted, industry. Suze came of age when swinging was a political statement. Few people today think of porn and swinging as part of a philosophy.

* Success. Jenna's book was number one.

I get this email:

Take it from an old industry consigliere - although your panic attacks may seem as destructive as Kevin Beechum's rape of the king's English, as surreal as a Larry Flynt luncheon at the Four Seasons or as frightening as a Tom Byron soliloquy, they are in fact as harmless as a Kenny Guarino vendetta and as transitory as a Rob Black subsidiary. They are as transparent as a Khan Tusion interview and credible as a Kenneth Gallo blog. Pay them no mind - 40 is young. Not many writers can turn two dimensions into three, not with such limited content to work with.

Lunch With Mensch Magazine Publisher Matt Lipeles

I've been acquainted with Matt for about a decade but only hung out with him at the Israeli Independence Day festival May 7.

We have lunch at a kosher restaurant May 21.

As I set up to wait for him, reading through my Steve Stern book Lazar: Malkin Enters Heaven, I realize I left my tape recorder at home.

I charge out of the Magic Carpet and up the street where I see a bearded Matt drive up. After I abuse him ("I told the waiter that if he sees a hairy ape man walk to tell you to sit down because I'll be right back"), he gives me a ride home so I can get my recorder.

"How come Emilio Estevez is a nobody when Charlie Sheen is a superstar?" asks Matt as he parks near Pico Blvd.

"It makes you question the existence of an all-powerful and all-good God," I reply.

As we sit down, Matt's yakking on his cell phone, wielding his power in the community.

"You're like Tony Soprano," I say.

Matt admits that he sometimes fantasizes he's Tony Soprano. "I just wish I could whack people," he muses.

Playa, you can't get in the game unless you're willing to swing the bat.

"Rob Eshman would be swimming with the fishes," I realize.

We both order the Sephardic choulent.

I have two urgent concerns uppermost on my mind -- the attributes of fitness model and journalist Neka Hite. This girl is smoking hot.

Ever since I got her business card last Thursday night, I've not been my high-minded self.

I seek spiritual counsel from Matt. After all, he's the publisher of Mentsch magazine. And this girl's not even Jewish. I must put her behind me and Torah before me.

I lay out her business card before Matt and ask for his views. He's astounded. I assure him that it is OK to be a man and to want manly things. Only he must control his behavior for the greater good of the Jewish community.

"I don't know how to respond to this business card," I whine. "I know I'm responding to this the wrong way and I know it is not what God intended for my life."

Why can't I just respect her as a journalist and not want to look upon her with my objectifying male gaze?

"Matt, would you hire this girl as an intern for Mentsch? Ever since I got her business card, I've been thinking about her."

Matt: "The easiest thing to do would be to tear up her business card.

"This is like the business card for a hooker.

"I don't know if you want to put that comment online."

Luke: "It's out of your mouth."

Matt: "What was going on in her head?

"I don't have interns. Now that I'm publishing this magazine, I have to particularly watch my behavior and stay away from any scandal."

As I walk Matt back to his car after lunch, he tells me a frustrating dating story. "I met this Persian girl on Frumster.com. She's traditional. We met for our first date and we had a terrific time.

"I wasn't sure I could eat anything at her house. I thought I'd take her miniature golf. It's the single best date especially..."

Matt won't say this but I will: Miniature golfing is a good excuse for getting your hands on a woman while you show how her to putt.

Matt: "I looked up on Google what was the best miniature golf place in the city. She liked a certain kind of literature. I bought her a classic in that genre. I washed my car.

"Having said this, she was not a large-breasted woman. Normally, that's a deal-breaker for me. If a woman is deficient in that area...but I really liked her. I decided I would let that go.

"She had wanted to meet some place. I said, 'Don't be ridiculous. It's far from here. I'll pick you up.'

"I go to pick her up on our second date. Her mom was there. I get the typical Sephardic interview. I knew I would have to do it anyway.

"Her mom says, 'It's soon for her to be driving in your car.' The girl was 28.

"I had gone out with Persian girls before. I had never experienced this.

"The mom said, 'This place you're taking her is too far. It's got to be right here in Beverly Hills.

"I'm sitting there in her house thinking, 'Is this the way it's going to be for the rest of my life with your small-breasted daughter and her mother tells me what to do for the rest of my life? I'm an observant guy. I probably can't eat your food yet you're telling me I can't take your daughter in my car? I'm wearing a yarmulke on my head. I'm going to rape your daughter?'

"That was it.

"I was just in shock.

"It was a Sunday afternoon. We did go to a museum but I was livid the whole time.

"I had to think about it for a week and then sent her an email saying, 'Sorry, this will not work. It's not you. There's no way I can be in this family structure.'"

Allie Ray Allie Ray Allie Ray Allie Ray Allie Ray, David Luger Allie Ray, David Luger

Red Light District director Luger hit Allie Ray and ran out of the house. She prepared a grapefruit juice coctail with Cascade (dishwashing detergent). When he came home, he drank it and supposedly passed out for a few hours.

I call agent Skooby. He says he no longer represents her. "Ohmigod," was his response to my questions.

I call Allie and David and leave messages. Allie's phone has David's calm voice saying leave a message for "Lovette."

I'm confused till I realize that is Allie's real name.

Allie calls me back.

"How did you get my phone number?" she asks.

"I called around the industry until I got it."

"You didn't get it from Skooby?"

"No."

"I wanted to get my story straight before I f--- his s--- up," she replied. "And you can post that around the industry."

Luke: "I'm reading all this drama and wondering what the truth is."

Allie Ray: "That is so funny. I'm deleting my MySpace thing.

"Yes, it's all true."

Luke: "How's David?"

Allie Ray, with regret: "He's surviving."

Luke: "Is he mad at you?"

Allie Ray: "Hell no. He has no right to be mad at me.

"Whatever. Everything's fine now."

Luke: "Everything's fine with you and David now?"

Allie: "Yeah.

"I wrote that and someone totally copied and pasted it on Adultfyi. Wow! It's like that. I didn't know it was like highschool in the industry."

Luke: "Yeah, it is."

Allie: "Yeah, whatever."

Luke: "So David's totally fine?"

Allie: "Unfortunately, yeah."

Luke: "Are you guys still together? Is he there in the room with you?"

Allie: "Yeah, we are. We're going to try to work it out."

Luke: "Did he learn his lesson?"

Allie: "I'm willing to bet my life he learned his lesson."

Luke: "How much did he drink of that stuff?"

Allie: "Not enough.

"I'm just kidding. I'm still a little angry."

Luke: "How did he react?"

Allie: "He passed out for a few hours."

Luke: "Did you have to take him to a hospital?"

Allie: "I was about to call the ambulance and he, all of a sudden, rose up and was like, 'I'm not going there again.' I don't know if he thought the loonie bin.

"That's how the night ended."

Luke: "Did you guys have a conversation about everything?"

Allie: "Kinda. Some things are better left unsaid. After some things happen, you wake up the next morning, kinda have sex, and forget anything ever happened."

Luke: "You lead a dramatic life."

Allie: "I try not to but things just come up."

Luke: "Have you ever done this before?"

Allie: "I've never done that before. I've done other stuff, not to him. I'm not crazy though."

Luke: "It must be true love."

Allie: "Oh yeah."

They've been together almost six months, says Allie.

Luke: "So he wasn't mad at you?"

Allie: "Hell no.

"Usually when I write my bulletins, it is within five minutes of whatever I'm feeling. My emotions, totally being angry at the moment. I sure got a lot of comments on that yesterday."

Luke: "How long have you been in the Adult industry?"

Allie: "About seven months."

Luke: "Are you having a good time?"

Allie: "I was. I'm girl-girl now. That says it all. I don't get as much work doing the girl-girl. Even if I did, it's not the same."

Luke: "Is this because David's making you do it?"

Allie: "Pretty much."

Luke: "He doesn't want you banging other guys."

Allie: "Even though I think it's totally professional. It's just another person to screw and look good on camera.

"I had no idea [her bulletin was reposted elsewhere]. My agent called me this morning. Ech! I won't be posting much any more. I always get comments that my bulletins are so exciting."

Luke: "What do you love and hate about being a porn star?"

Allie: "I love showing up on set and meeting new people and putting on my, 'I'm cure, 19-year old [look].' Even though I am so much not 19.

"What I hate? I don't hate anything about it except maybe the whole mailed check thing. Having to track down the checks you earned f---ing for these people."

Luke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Allie: "I wanted to be a whale trainer at Sea World.

"If things don't work out with my boyfriend, I'll go back to boy-girl.

"He's lying down. I feel bad."

Luke: "What attracted you to him?"

Allie: "He's quiet and nice and professional and easy. That's about it. And that I was supposed to shoot for him. I shot for him one time. The second time, I totally fell in love with him. We were supposed to shoot a POV and we shot without the camera. That's where it all started.

"I'm going to go now. I'm going to jump in my pool. I'm sweating like a pig."

XXX porn source says: "Skooby no longer wants to represent Allie Ray. She's eye candy on his site. She's complete drama. When it was brought to his attention this morning, Skooby called her. It was on speaker phone with Leah Luv.

"Skooby has to talk to a lot of his girls as though they are in kindergarten.

"She was mad that it got printed on the internet. Why when it was published on MySpace?

"Skooby asked her, 'Is David alive?' She replied, 'Barely.'

"She said she couldn't talk. David was passed out in the other room.

"Skooby and Allie are laughing. Skooby's trying to play it cool.

"She calls Skooby back. Allie says David was blaming her for losing his keys.

"Allie Ray and David Luger are completely nuts together. David has a quiet personna but don't let it fool you. He started dating one of Skooby's talent girls [Allie?] and then he started putting all these rules on her towards Skooby and he get her to leave Skooby's agency. He wanted her with a female agent. She wasn't allowed to do boy-girl anymore. Skooby wasn't allowed to call her after-hours.

"Allie would play to Skooby messages from David where he's crying. She'd tell stories about him throwing temper tantrums and banging his head and his fist against the ground and crying, just because she wanted to go home for the night. He was pulling his hair out.

"Allie Ray has written stuff on MySpace before that's gotten back to Skooby, where she's said that she's grabbed scissors and tried to cut David.

"Allie Ray told Skooby that David flipped out, blamed her for losing his keys, grabbed her by the hair, and started throwing her around. He swatted her a couple of times.

"She went nuts. He locked himself in a room and started talking to himself. She said, 'I'm going to call the mental hospital on you. You're out of your mind.' He freaked out supposedly and said, 'Oh no, not again. Not again.'

"He bolted out the door barefoot, not completely dressed, and left for hours.

"When he came back, she made him a cocktail with grapefruit juice and Cascade (dishwasher cleaner, highly toxic) and wanted him to drink it.

"She tells Skooby this in a nonchalant tone. She said she did not know if he drank it. Then she had to go."

Allie Ray posts her first bulletin on MySpace:

ALLIE: May 23, 2006 7:50 AM im in another one of my moods today im irritated and today im actually pushing my boyfriend out the door as appose to stopping him, i cant wait till he leaves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1my b/f and drinking partner is back in the service so i dont have anyone close to me to smoke and sit at the pool and drink. does anyone live near by????????? that wants to come over??? ----------by the way im selling/giving away about 300 dvds today well pornos im getting rid of all the movies my boyfriend directed they have been in a box but im getting rid of the box 2 its pointless having it around and besides it doesnt help him to be reminded that before i came along he was as pathetic enough to shoot pov and have to pay girls to get some action loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so im doing the honors in getting rid of them mabe for like 5 bucks these movies dont mean s--- anyway hit me up on myspace or just call 818 47X XXX3

Allie Ray posts her second bulletin on her MySpace:

im sorry for the last minute cancellation but david luger has lost his mind, i might be checking him into a hospital im not sure yet he lost his keys this morning and threw a tantrum and hurt the only person who has ever loved him he lost his mind and hit me three times pretty badly im strong though and im a nightmare so believe this poor bastard has made the biggest mistake of his over the hill life! my handy work is probably happening right now ive poisoned him he is slipping away at the moment asking me to stay by his side booooo hoooo he says i dont know whats wrong with me? well this is my confession im killing the motherf---er cuz im heartless and i have no remorse for men who use there strength to hurt others im sorry for whoever is, was hired tomarrow but i doubt david luger will survive this and if he does its only cuz i let myself help the son of a bitch . ( p.s all you people who think you know quiet david luger your mistaken this man is a walking time bomb hes crazy and doesnt say very nice thing about his co workers or anyone so if your going to even think to make a bad comment to me on his behalf for your sake think again! the last thing anyone need is someone like me on there bad side.

Allie's third bulletin:

official!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Body: im shocked right know he is crazy its like insane he starts yelling in the bathroom crazy s--- i go in there and hes trying to kill himself hes crazy i take the razor out of his hands scared it will cut me and then he balls up on the floor screaming and wrapping a towel around his head hes crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then i tell him stop this !!!!!!!!!!he looks in the shower and starts saying to himself over and over again " we should of killed her ross" " we should of killed her im so confused i say whos ross???? who are you talking to???? theres no one there so then i say im calling an ambulance i dont know what else to do by then im thinking s--- im about to die i hear his footsteps pounding down the hall i was scared but then he runs down the stairs and says there not taking me away again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and runs out the door barefoot out into the street and i dont know what to do what do i do ???????????????????????????? what does he mean by there not taking me away again ??????????/ i want to die right know i feel like s--- im tired and beautiful me looks tired what do i do ??????????????? its late hes out barefoot and he has no phone on him

Allie Ray posts about herself to her MySpace:

"ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR" ...... MOTHERf---ER! (Edit) About Me: MY REAL NAME IS LOVETTE ARAGON BUT MOST PEOPLE NOW KNOW ME AS ALLIE RAY I AM HALF SPANISH HALF FILIPINO. IM TOTALLY CRAZY AS HELL I WILL ADMITT IM UNWELL AND VERY SCREWED UP IN THE HEAD. I HAVE A TRAIN OF THOUGHTS THAT FOLLOW ME EVERY DAY EVERYWHERE I GO ITS TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT WATCH OUT FOR THE QUIET ONES PROVEN BY MYSELF HALF THE TIME IM STORMING UP IDEAS IN MY HEAD ON HOW TO f--- UP THE NEXT BEST THING COMING MY WAY THATS A BAD HABIT OF MINE!!!!!

IVE RECENTLY TURNED INTO A DRUNK ASS I SMOKE WEED ALL DAY AND THE DAYS I HAVE OFF OF WORK I USUALLY SPEND DOWN AT VENICE BEACH ON BLOW ALL DAY!! WELL IF THAT ISNT BEING HONEST ABOUT ME TO THE WORLD I DONT KNOW WHAT IS, IM ON MY SPACE TO KILL TIME AND TO GET MY MIND OFF WHOEVER IS PISSING ME OFF THAT DAY. I TRY AND BE A GOOD PERFORMER AT WORK AND BE NICE AT WORK WHICH IS HARD, ,,SOMETIMES THE GUYS I WORK WITH THINK THEYRE THE f---ING DIRECTOR WHICH DOESNT SLIDE BY ME OR REALLY ANY OTHER SMART GIRLY IN THE INDUSTRY WHICH IS WHY SOMETIMES 5 OUT OF 10 TIMES THATS THE CASE I STILL TRY TO BE FUN AND GOOFY OTHER THAN THAT.

I f---ING LOVE MY JOB I GET PAID TO RUB MY CLIT ALL DAY AND GET OFF ON FILM I AM SURROUNDED BY SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AT WORK I GET TO TONGUE KISS GIRLS THAT GUYS AT HOME WISH THEY HAD=0) AND I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT IM ALIVE CUZ OF PORN!!!!!!!! AINT NO ONE OR NOTHING GONNA CHANGE MY WAYS IM CURRENTLY INVOLVED, AND IN LOVE LIKE I THOUGHT ID NEVER BE WHATS BETTER THAN HAVING SEX AT WORK HAVING SEX AT HOME WITH MY VERY OWN DAVID LUGER HIS WORK ALONE GETS ME OFF AND YET I GET HIM AT HOME TOO!!! IM LOVING THE s--- OUT OF HIM!!!!

MY HONEY IS A DIRECTOR OVER AT RED LIGHT DISTRICT SO HE DEFINETLY LAYS IT ON ME AT NIGHT JUST THE WAY I f---ING LOVE IT !!!! IM GOING TO MARRY HIM EVERYONE I LOVE HIM AND I LOVE LIFE AND I LOVE ALL THE MOTHERf---ERS WHO BUY MY DVDS AND STROKE THERE COCKS TO ME !!! HEHEHE !!!! THROW LIPS AT THE s--- MOFO!!! J/K I AM LIVING THE LIFE AND LOVIN IT IM HONEST AND HAVE NO PROBLEM BEING A PERVERT AND I MIGHT COME OFF VULGER BUT I CANT SAY I CARE IF YOU THINK THAT,,,, IF YA LIKE ME YA DO; IF YA DONT THEN YA DONT, IM STILL GOING TO SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Allie Ray posts to MySpace/Lukeisback: "hope you dont think im crazy=0) just a little////////////mabe a lot=0) j/k --oxox allie ray"

I heard that Leah Luv called Red Light District, where David directs, and let them know.

Allover wrotes me: "Do you consider the career choice of pornography a precipitent of that f---ed-updedness, a wholly seperate and damaging element of involvement unto itself, or is pornography to you a career choice no better or worse for a person than the psychic health they bring into it as they join it and go?"

It varies on the individual. Each person reacts to porn differently though I do believe that certain trends can be seen in the effect porn has on people. It tends to make them more open-minded and sexually aware. Pornographers can teach us a lot about losing our hang-ups and being more loving and kind.

Yori Yanover Denies Engaging In BDSM

"BDSM" are the initials for the bondage-domination-sadism-masochism continuum of power-play sex games.

When the acts are consensual and leave no permanent damage, it's hard for me to condemn them (though I believe that any acts that cause bleeding or passing out to be dangerous).

I've known women who lead normal lives yet love rough sex. Such women would leave a man if he ever hit her without her permission, yet the women (often women who exercise tremendous power outside the bedroom, and are only submissive inside the bedroom) loved to be slapped, pinched, bitten, tied up, called demeaning names and the like during consensual sex with their partner.

My guess is that many, perhaps most, women like to be dominated to varying degrees at various times during sex and that most men most of the time like to be the sexual aggressor with a woman (with her permission).

All penetrative sex by definition demands penetration, which has an element of violence.

Yori emails me:

Dear Luke,

In the past, when you presented some bizarre notes about a guy using my name to rile up demonstrators against the WTO in Seattle, you wondered why I hadn't protested this misuse of my name, insinuating that by not doing that at the time, I must accept the fallout (there was none, but that's a different story).

Although this logic is reminiscent of the opening chapters of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where an alien ship destroys the earth to make room for an intergalactic highway, telling the inhabitants they had ample time to contest the move in an office only a few light-years away, there was probably some practical wisdom in what you wrote.

Indeed, I've made it my habit to google myself at least once a week, just to stay on top of things. And what I don't find myself, I get by email. Like the email I received late Friday afternoon from a close friend: “Jewish Survivors is claiming now that you do BDSM games with all your friends -- and you don't invite us?!?!?!?”

I sighed, looked at my watch and went to my already closed Mozilla again, to discover the following sweet note on Jewish Survivors of Sexual Violence Speak Out: “I can't stop asking myself if Yori Yanover is also into BDSM like his friends? Let's not forget to mention his buddy Rabbi David Lipman who is a convicted child molester. I'm trying to remember if he's also friends with convicted sex offender, Kabbalah Coach - Rabbi Michael Ozair too?

“Luke Ford's been writing about it all week on his blog.”

I scanned up and down your blog and couldn’t find any mention of my name. Perhaps you did write about my taste for rough stuff and it escaped me. You’re welcome to set me straight.

Now, lest the scourge of Seattle repeat itself, I must stand in the city square -- your blog -- and proclaim that I never engaged in BDSM (which, not surprisingly, does not stand for Beis Din Shliach Mitzvah), nor is BDSM in any other way part of my erotic menu. I do not condemn consenting adults who enjoy it, I simply do not find it appealing in the least. It is sad that one’s reputation can be trashed so easily, but such is life.

One must wonder, however, what was the basis for that "casual" remark? I am not a public servant in any way. I am a private businessman and an author. I do not have employees nor students. I am not a rabbi. I was never accused by anyone of any sexual or other misconduct. Why, then, can an anonymous website make dark innuendos about me and get away with it, merely because they took care to add a question mark at the end of the nasty remark?

I’ll tell you why: Because I exposed Vicki Polin’s appearance on Oprah, where she “confessed” her ties to a satanic Jewish cult, baby-munching and all. I deprived her of credibility in a way she can never restore. And when the tape of that appearance, currently in the hands of one of her victims, will make it to the web, as it will, eventually, she will remain bereft of parnosah. This is why she hates me so much, and "can't stop thinkink" about me. This is why she considers it par for the course to assault my reputation, even though I meet none of her definitions for people she normally torments. I’m the guy who proved she’s crazy.

So, anyway, the record is set straight again, I do not now, nor have I ever before engaged in BDSM. I welcome future inquiries regarding my bedroom habits, although I may be forced to charge a small fee.

From SFGate.com, May 21, 2006:

'Naked Guy' won fame in Berkeley, challenged values

The Naked Guy, whose au naturel jaunts through Berkeley spurred a nudity revolt in the early 1990s and earned him national fame, died in a San Jose jail cell, apparently of suicide.

While many chuckled at the exploits of Andrew Martinez, friends and family of the 33-year-old talked Saturday about a troubled man who struggled for years with mental illness.

"He was a person with tremendous gifts and charisma who could have been a great asset to our society, but instead I feel like society -- me included -- failed him," said Martinez's best friend, Bryan Schwartz, a civil rights lawyer in Washington, D.C. "It's such a waste."

Public nudity isn't just a gag and a healthy activity, it's an assault of Western civilization (or any form of civilization), writes Dennis Prager:

Secular Europe is far readier to feature nudity on public television than is Judeo-Christian America, and it is far more accepting of people walking around nude in public at beaches. The Judeo-Christian problem with public nudity among consenting adults at a beach or even at a nudist colony is not that these people are necessarily acting immorally (...); it is that they are acting like animals. Clothing gives human beings dignity; it elevates them above the animals whose genitals are always uncovered (...)

AIDS Walk New York

"It's the only venereal disease for which New Yorkers are willing to walk," says Amalek. "Why is there no walk to fight herpes or venereal warts? After all, unlike HIV, these diseases are very easy to catch.

"Luke, you interface with a community that is fairly saturated with these viruses. I'll bet that if they got behind finding a cure or a vaccine to prevent the spread of herpes, their hundreds of thousands of fans would quickly join the cause and the politicians would follow.

"So as one door closes (FNL), another opens for you."

Baltimore Jewish Times Editor Phil Jacobs writes in the May 19, 2006 issue:

"Dr. Aviva Weisbord has been there for everybody for almost 25 years, working with her patients in her psychology practice.

The truth is, Dr. Weisbord, the wife of Ner Israel Rabbinical College’s Rabbi Beryl Weisbord and daughter of the late rosh yeshiva, Rabbi Yaakov S. Weinberg, and community pillar Rebbetzin Hannah Weinberg, has never not been there for this community.

But now that status is going to take a huge, perhaps more public, change.

As of June 1, Dr. Weisbord, who is known for her warm, friendly smile, will start as the new head of the Jewish Big Brother and Big Sister League (JBBL) and its Jewish Addiction Services program. JBBL is a constituent agency of the Associated: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore."

Luke says: Aviva Weisbord is a member of the human race. She's not an angel. It's impossible for her to have been there for everybody over 25 years. A single overstatement, wherever or however it occurs, has the power to destroy the credibility of a story in the mind of a reader (E.B. White).

Phil, if you feel you are possessed of the truth, simply state it, do not give it advance billing (E.B. White). "The truth is..."

One thing that Phil Jacobs does not mention is that Aviva Weisbord is the sister of accused sexual predator Rabbi Matis Weinberg.

I'm not arguing that this should disqualify Dr. Weisbord from anything but it is certainly relevant to a story on her.

The pioneer for reporting on rabbinic sex abuse, Gary Rosenblatt, writes in The Jewish Week May 9, 2003:

"Dr. Aviva Weisbord, a psychologist in Baltimore and sister of Rabbi Weinberg, said she and other members of her family are working toward establishing a two-tiered mechanism to deal with sexual abuse in the Orthodox community. Allegations would be addressed to a group of distinguished rabbis, she said, who then would appoint trained professionals to investigate and make recommendations, which the rabbinic body would then act on.

As a form of “checks and balances,” Weisbord said, “ it would be understood that if people were not satisfied with the results, they could go to the civil courts or the press.”

Weisbord acknowledged that there was “ingrained resistance” from some of the rabbis who have been approached. “They recognize the need but have been reluctant to sign on,” she noted. “It will have to be done one by one.”"

Luke says:  Phil Jacobs is the facilitator of a support group for men who were sexually abused. It meets at Sidran Institute, founded by former Awareness Center board member Esther Giller, a successful writer for grants.

I believe that the first meeting for a Ner Israel-supported set of such support groups was at Hannah Weinberg's house, Aviva's mother.

These support groups are part of a reaction to the Samuel Juravel case, which the Baltimore Orthodox community leadership covered up years ago (when there were numerous accusations about Juravel's predatory behavior with boys).

Phil Jacobs, along with Gary Rosenblatt, were given the story of Vicki Polin’s 1989 appearance on Oprah before anybody but never published anything on it. About six months after Phil and Gary had the story, I was given it by Yori Yanover and, after ascertaining the transcript's accuracy, immediately published it.

Rabbi Eliezer Eisgrau has a daughter who (along with others) accuses Eisgrau of sexual abuse:

"My father said that he wanted to help me and would take me to see a psychologist if I came home with him. He took me to his friend, Dr. Aviva Weisbord, who agreed to see me as a favor to him. (Apparently he had helped her with one of her children who had been having issues.)

Dr. Weisbord should never have taken me on as a client due to her obvious conflict of interest. She allowed me to come to her house during the course of therapy and sleep over. She violated confidentiality by meeting with my parents against my wishes. She violated confidentiality by telling people that I had been a client of hers and that in her "professional" opinion my father had not abused me.

During the course of my treatment with Dr. Weisbord she and I both realized that I had been sexually abused. She kept asking me about my uncle, Goldberger, whom I had contact with as a young child. I did not remember any specific instances of him abusing me. I did not tell her about my father. She was very willing to believe that my uncle, a convicted sex offender, abused me. But I knew she would not believe me about my father. She made it clear that she trusted and respected him. At some point she realized that I was hiding something. She told me that there were serious boundary issues in my family. That there were things that I wasn't sharing with her, and that she did not want to hear. She told me that she was ending our relationship and sending me to someone else."

Luke says: Even though Jewish Week Editor Gary Rosenblatt broke the Rabbi Mordecai Gafni story, he chose to concentrate on charges against Gafni from about 20 years ago, rather on the abundant evidence that Gafni still acted like a creep (which I quickly published on my site after Gary's article broke open the dam of evidence against Gafni).

When Rosenblatt, who got first crack at those who said Gafni sexually abused them approximately 20 years ago, recently tried to talk to these women again, but they wanted nothing to do with Gary, saying he'd burned them the first time round.

What was and is important about Gafni is not primarily how Gafni acted 20 years ago, but his unchanged pattern of bad behavior (not just sexual bad behavior) that's continued to the present and was enabled over the past 20 months by such rabbis as Joseph Telushkin and Saul Berman as well as the Stephen S. Wise temple leadership.

Through his first column on Gafni, Rosenblatt, due to his earned prestige in much of Jewish life (he's a scholar in residence at various synagogues and is widely called "Mr. Jewish Journalism"), prompted people of good will to take the attitude of letting bygones be bygones with Gafni.

From a post to the Jewish Survivors blog:

I personally believe that prior to trusting people like Chana Weinberg, she will need to make both private and a public apology to the survivors of her son Matis Weinberg, and also the survivors of the other cases her and her late husband covered up. I would love to hear Aviva Weisbord apologize to the Eisgrau survivor for breaching confidentiality.

From another post in this thread:

The problem is that a lot of people in the [Baltimore] community are afraid to go to police. They don't want to go against the ravs of the community. If they don't comply their children will no longer be able to go to schools of their choice, as their children get older they won't be able to get a good shudduch (match for marriage).

Going to goyisha law enforcement would take power away from those in leadership roles. You would be considered a rasha!

'When I Wake Up In The Morning, You're The First Thing I Look At'

A friend calls. "Do you ever find you are so inside your head blogging, that when you are on the phone, you can't express yourself properly? That the only way you can truly communicate is through blogging?"

Luke: "No. That's only in a few areas where I have to be very careful in what I say. Therefore, if I'm going to say anything, I'd rather blog it, because I can think things through and express them exactly while if I speak, I won't be as precise with my words.

"Usually, it is through talking to people that things come to me that I later blog. Talking to people will help me achieve clarity. It's through interacting with people that I usually get my best blog entries."

Elie Wiesel Addresses Friday Night Live (FNL) At Sinai Temple

For the first time in its almost nine-year history, FNL was held on the third Friday night of the month so that author Elie Wiesel could address the young people.

About 2,000 people showed, evenly divided between the young and old. There was an enormous traffic jam on Beverly Glen Blvd and a long line to get into the shul's parking lot (every car trunk is opened and checked for bombs).

The service was a massive celebration. I haven't seen Jews this high since the blacks came to FNL to teach us how to talk to God.

Aside from his Holocaust novel-memoir Night, I've found Wiesel's writing trite, but he was an engaging and lyrical speaker.

He said he once served as a choir director but found himself falling in love with every girl under his tutelage.

He talked about a beautiful Jewish woman leading singing in Moscow while it was ruled by communism. He ran into her years later in Jerusalem. He remembered her clearly. She remembered him dimly, only as he turned to leave her.

Wiesel said Iran's current leadership must be stopped at any price.

He urged his audience to "think higher and feel deeper."

Elie said he no interest in films. For years he worked as a journalist and had to cover the Cannes Film Festival. It was torture. He had to watch up to four films a day and interview clueless actresses such as Brigitte Bardot with whom he had nothing in common.

From the bima (pulpit), Wiesel said he abandoned philosophy because he found it did not have answers, but during question time later in the evening, he said he still considered himself a philosopher and studied the subject every day.

After the service, Wiesel engaged in a dialogue with Rabbi David Wolpe for the 21-39 crowd. It was embarrassing how many older people tried to get in even though the event was clearly announced as for a designated age group. The security guards and assistants asked doubtful looking persons such as myself for our ages (though IDs were not checked).

I also hated how much of the crowd wore jeans, chewed gum, took photos in the shul during Shabbos, and not only did not turn off their cell phones, but used them around the shul to find each other. Pigs.

Friends assailed me after Wiesel's dialogue: "No shiksa tonight?"

And at that precise moment, a shiksa friend of mine walked up.

How do my friends celebrate this august occasion? By dredging up some of the more colorful moments of my life that I'd rather not be recountered before company, certainly not before hot female company, and certainly never in shul.

Security guards started encouraging people to leave at 10:30 p.m.

I tell a friend not to come up from behind and startle me, particularly not in shul, because I have a huge startle response and might say an obscene word. My friend notes that he had only begun the practice because I had done it to him many times.

"I frequently do things to other that I do not want done to me," I confess.

My non-Jewish friends marvel at how informal, friendly and chatty synagogue is.

Yori Yanover Denies Engaging In BDSM

"BDSM" are the initials for bondage-domination-sadism-masochism continuum of power-play games.

Yori emails me:

Dear Luke,

In the past, when you presented some bizarre notes about a guy using my name to rile up demonstrators against the WTO in Seattle, you wondered why I hadn't protested this misuse of my name, insinuating that by not doing that at the time, I must accept the fallout (there was none, but that's a different story).

Although this logic is reminiscent of the opening chapters of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where an alien ship destroys the earth to make room for an intergalactic highway, telling the inhabitants they had ample time to contest the move in an office only a few light-years away, there was probably some practical wisdom in what you wrote.

Indeed, I've made it my habit to google myself at least once a week, just to stay on top of things. And what I don't find myself, I get by email. Like the email I received late Friday afternoon from a close friend: “Jewish Survivors is claiming now that you do BDSM games with all your friends -- and you don't invite us?!?!?!?”

I sighed, looked at my watch and went to my already closed Mozilla again, to discover the following sweet note on Jewish Survivors of Sexual Violence Speak Out: “I can't stop asking myself if Yori Yanover is also into BDSM like his friends? Let's not forget to mention his buddy Rabbi David Lipman who is a convicted child molester. I'm trying to remember if he's also friends with convicted sex offender, Kabbalah Coach - Rabbi Michael Ozair too?

“Luke Ford's been writing about it all week on his blog.”

I scanned up and down your blog and couldn’t find any mention of my name. Perhaps you did write about my taste for rough stuff and it escaped me. You’re welcome to set me straight.

Now, lest the scourge of Seattle repeat itself, I must stand in the city square -- your blog -- and proclaim that I never engaged in BDSM (which, not surprisingly, does not stand for Beis Din Shliach Mitzvah), nor is BDSM in any other way part of my erotic menu. I do not condemn consenting adults who enjoy it, I simply do not find it appealing in the least. It is sad that one’s reputation can be trashed so easily, but such is life.

One must wonder, however, what was the basis for that "casual" remark? I am not a public servant in any way. I am a private businessman and an author. I do not have employees nor students. I am not a rabbi. I was never accused by anyone of any sexual or other misconduct. Why, then, can an anonymous website make dark innuendos about me and get away with it, merely because they took care to add a question mark at the end of the nasty remark?

I’ll tell you why: Because I exposed Vicki Polin’s appearance on Oprah, where she “confessed” her ties to a satanic Jewish cult, baby-munching and all. I deprived her of credibility in a way she can never restore. And when the tape of that appearance, currently in the hands of one of her victims, will make it to the web, as it will, eventually, she will remain bereft of parnosah. This is why she hates me so much, and "can't stop thinkink" about me. This is why she considers it par for the course to assault my reputation, even though I meet none of her definitions for people she normally torments. I’m the guy who proved she’s crazy.

So, anyway, the record is set straight again, I do not now, nor have I ever before engaged in BDSM. I welcome future inquiries regarding my bedroom habits, although I may be forced to charge a small fee.

If I Was Not Already In Love With The Torah, I'd Find It Thrilling To Seduce A Ms. Magazine Writer

Listen to a .wav file of the discussion between authors Evan Wright, Allan MacDonell, and Jason Leopold.

Video of Emmanuelle Richard, Marilyn Monroe on an old 8-Ball LA Press Club newsletter Video of two amazing beauties -- Emmanuelle Richard, Marilyn Monroe Video of Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield in 8-Ball Video of Cathy Seipp looking at old 8-Ball Video - David Shaw, right, in a 1971 8-Ball Video of a stripper in 8-Ball Video of Evan Wright, Allan MacDonell, Jason Leopold Video of Evan, Allan, Jason Video Video of Long Beach State journalism student Neka Hite, LA Press Club volunteer

Cathy Seipp, Luke Ford, Cheryl Shuman Cathy, Luke, Cheryl Cathy, Luke, Cheryl Ben Sullivan, Luke Ford, Steve Smith Luke with two ladies from Ms. magazine -- Cheryl (right) and Ren (middle) (L-R) Cheryl, Ren, Luke, Angela from Ms. Magazine Luke Ford, Allan MacDonell Allan MacDonell, Luke Ford (Photos courtesy of Cheryl Shuman)

"Luke only has one expression," says Cathy after posing with me.

"You should wear a belt," says Matt Welch. "You're a handsome man. There's no reason why a handsome man should have his drawers around his mid-ass."

Here's an excerpt from the official invite:

WHAT: A reception sponsored by Vampire for two now-sober journalistic troublemakers: Allan MacDonell, whose incendiary memoir, Prisoner of X: 20 Years in the Hole at Hustler Magazine (Feral House), has been featured in the NY Times, NY Post, Rolling Stone, Vanity Fair and NPR; and Jason Leopold, the obsessive-compulsive investigative journalist very much in the news lately . His News Junkie (Process) details the felonious conduct prior to his rise and fall at the Los Angeles Times, Salon and Dow Jones Newswires, and later his rise once again in the independent media.

FOLLOWED BY: A discussion with the two writers moderated by Evan Wright, whose bestselling Generation Kill, about American grunts in Iraq, won the 2005 PEN award for the best work of researched nonfiction.

WHY: Because Chuck (Fight Club) Palahniuk sez, "Prisoner of X is hours of guilty pleasure that pass like seconds. Here's the unsafe, hook-up sex of memoir. You'll need to indulge before the restraining orders pull this great book off of store shelves." Because Greg Palast ( The Best Democracy Money Can Buy) sez, "Every author in America should read News Junkie, then quit or riot." And Jason Leopold's TruthOut.org stories have been subpoenaed by Scooter Libby's attorney in Plamegate, and Jason's Halliburton in Iran story was selected for inclusion in this year's Project Censored collection.

Luke says: I went to the LA Press Club Thursday night afraid that my arch-nemesis Mike Albo would kick my ass and humiliate me in front of my date and my friends. Thank the Lord, Albo ignored me.

Ben Sullivan, however, did not.

He was working some reverse psychology game whereby introducing me to three hot babes who worked for Ms. Magazine, he probably reckoned that he would make himself look great in comparison and thereby score with a putative feminist bulldyke (even though he's in a relationship with a smart and beautiful Asian pianist).

I try to make polite small talk with the Ms. babes, marvelling that they aren't picketing or otherwise demonstrating anger at the former Editor of Hustler magazine.

They look at me with horror, and when it is finally revealed to them that I am an escaped convict who isn't taking his court-ordered medication, they realize the ghastly truth and edge away from me.

I arrive at 6:30 p.m.

A good crowd gathers including Emmanuelle Richard, Matt Welch, Cathy Seipp, and former Hustler writers Dan Kapelovitz and Neal Kenneally. Dan wears these bizarre '70s-style plaid pants and Neal wears this bizarre red stain around his lips. Dan, a freelance writer, appears energetic while Neal, the Editorial Director of Rock Star magazine, appears paranoid, hunched over, and hammered on drugs. A couple of his female friends come up and ask if it is OK to smoke pot at the Press Club. In the end, the ladies go to their car to get stoned.

Jason Leopold looks like death warmed over. He's sweaty and nervous.

Allan looks as at ease as he ever does in a crowd -- not at all.

The discussion begins in the Steve Allen theater.

Jason: "It's really hard for me sitting up here. I feel horrible. This is a book I wrote in search of redemption. The difference now [with the book] is that I did everything right."

Leopold has a class-E felony conviction for grand theft and felony. He was a drug abuser while working as a journalist and his publishers had a couple of prominent retractions. "One of those two has since been proved true," says Jason. "Unfortunately, nobody has said, oh, you were right.

"I wrote over 2,000 stories but those were huge corrections, retractions."

Allan: "My name is Allan MacDonell. I've never been convicted of a felony. But I have been interested all my life in the underside.

"There are a lot of people here tonight who used to work for me at Hustler. One thing they all have in common is that they all left.

"I was fired after performing at a roast for Larry Flynt."

Evan: "Because you weren't funny?"

Allan: "I was funny.

"I wrote a book proposal. Finally, Adam Parfrey, publisher of Feral House, who wrote articles for me at Hustler 15 years ago, took a chance and gave me a huge advance -- two mortgage payments. I wrote the book in nine months while we were remodelling my house. It was written to the sound of jackhammers and tearing walls and a lot of Spanish.

"After Larry fired me, he offered me four weeks severance. The standard is one week per year of employment. That seemed punitive. The nice thing about that is that since I turned it down, I didn't sign anything. There are things (the Ted Turner, Jane Fonda sex tape and the scam on Republican representative Bob Livingstone, the then-speaker-elect of the House) in this book that people would never have known about and gotten me play in the press. Larry did me a favor."

James Frey wrote a blurb for Leopold's book that was hastily withdrawn by Jason's publisher when Frey's scandal broke.

When Jason called the police for his criminal record, the officer asked him if he was writing a book.

Allan says the most embarrassing thing he revealed his book was when he told Larry Flynt, in front of 500 people, that he loved him. Allan says you shouldn't profess love in front of a crowd unless you're getting married.

Allan: "I like that the magazine was completely independent. There's no corporate sponsorship for Hustler magazine. You can write anything you want. Initially Larry was very drugged. There was no input there. After a while, I started making money.

"There aren't many magazine jobs. It's a tight fraternity.

"You got to do everything at Hustler that you can do at a high-grade magazine only it was this low-grade magazine.

"I have this thing about criminals. Larry knows criminals. I met this high-end book at Larry's house. I remember Larry being on the phone with Reuben Sturman, the highest-ranking unindicted mobster in the US."

Evan: "He was like the George Washington of porn."

Allan: "I felt like this big-shot. I got this attitude. It was like the Sopranos only no one was getting killed. You could use profanity. I loved it.

"Larry created the template for Hustler. The things that irritated Larry irritated me -- corporate structure, celebrities...

"I wrote Asshole of the Month for the 1990s, 13 a year. The column was sarcastic and assaultive. It was the next thing to libel [though Allan was never threatened with a libel suit over it]. Writing Asshole of the Month saved many of my relationships. It was a great outlet. I got to give a point of view sorely underrepresented in the mainstream media -- mine.

"I was to Larry Flynt what Josef Goebbels was to Hitler. I was at his wedding, he was at mine.

"The book wasn't written with any malice to Larry Flynt. In ways I admire Larry. He's a tough guy, a force of nature. For some time, he was so catatonic on drugs, people thought he wasn't there. Because of my own experiences with drugs, I knew he was there. He had thoughts. He just couldn't get them out."

Evan: "We used to call him Humpty Dumpty."

Allan: "He was just Humpty."

Jason: "I'm able to cultivate sources by being vulnerable."

Evan notes that this is a trick of con men such as Ice Man Slim. "When you do that, it immediately ages the friendship."

Jason: "I would tell them my secret [his felony] and thus they could destroy me..."

About Larry Flynt's war on Republican politicians in 1998: "We weren't doing any reporting at all. We were just paying people money for information."

Wright says that Allan's book reads like a tale of his unrequited love for Larry Flynt.

Allan: "Many conspiracy theorists believe that Woody Harrelson's father was the gunman on the grassy knoll [who killed President Kennedy]. And they make a compelling case."

German guy in the audience: "Why does Hustler make their cover girls look like they're dipped in oil?"

Allan: "They dip her in oil."

Evan: "Then they kill her afterwards."

Allan: "It's a motion enhancement. It makes her look so excited that she's exuding this oil."

Evan says he doesn't write reviews or blurbs without reading the book in question first.

Evan and Mark Ebner get into an animated private discussion before the panel.

Brian Doherty tells me how he wrote his latest book on the history of American libertarian thought -- three weeks of 18-hour days fueled by Ephedrine. He still has to spend a few weeks pulling the book together while working his fulltime job at Reason magazine.

Brian and Luke Y. Thompson have quit drinking diet soda because the fake sugar screws with their mind.

Shelby Steele Addresses David Horowitz's Wednesday Morning Club

Here's a .wav file of his talk.

11:45 a.m. I walk in carrying Hitler Laughing: Comedy in the Third Reich as an icebreaker.

Cathy Seipp's locked in a conversation with righteous Jews. I stand guiltily by her side, tormented by my sinful desires.

We go in to eat. A law-and-order (I was taught in college that this is code for "Get the nigger!") Republican political candidate, Clark Baker, joins us. The ex-Marine and 26-year veteran of the LAPD is running for the 42nd Assembly district (Paul Koretz must retire because of term limits). The district is about 50% Democratic, and 22% Republican though 36% of its voters went for Bush in 2004.

I ask Baker who he's running against in the primary. He says the name of his opponent and then asks if we "really need another gay Republican lawyer from West Hollywood in the state assembly?"

Good question.

Poor Clark got railroaded out of the LAPD for beating up an El Salvadoran immigrant who wouldn't sign his jaywalking ticket.

The bloke didn't even have any bruises from Clark scuffling with him before taking him to the ground and handcuffing him.

Baker says he got his job back when the prosecutor and judge in his case were shown to be corrupt.

Clark goes into great detail about subduing suspects and how the denial of the choke hold forced the LAPD to use its metal batons to control rowdy suspects such as Rodney King.

All this manly talk gets Cathy very excited.

I see another "Cathy" friend of mine and I yell at her and get her to flank me for the rest of the show.

Shelby Steele is an understated speaker. I haven't seen such a low voltage performance since Commentary magazine Gabriel Schoenfeld's March 14, 2004 address.

This depresses me until I consume two helpings of strawberry shortcake.

I see three blacks in the audience of over 100, and one appears to be Shelby's wife (or mistress, just kidding, just trying to give the brother some street cred).

What the WMC needs to liven things up is some good ol' fashioned gospel preaching by the likes of Bishop Charles E. Blake (his church is where I like to take my more adventurous dates). And a choir would be groovy too.

I lean over and ask the Other Cathy (who has children in their twenties) if she still has her Catholic schoolgirl uniform. She blushes.

I ask Cathy S. if I did something wrong. She says that one would only ask such a question about the uniform if one has impure thoughts.

Maybe Steele is dignified and speaking in measured academic tones? That's why he can't get excited on stage.

Not once does he break into, "Can I hear hallelujah?"

He probably feels oppressed by us uptight white folks always ready to lynch a black man if he gets too uppity.

Shelby's nearly finished with his talk when he gets his first applause (for saying America is a very good country).

He livens up during question time and preaches the gospel truth.

Here's a summary of his remarks:

David Horowitz's Radical Son is the finest memoir of his generation.

Once America admitted it was treating blacks as second-class citizens [with 1963's Voting Rights Act, etc], it accepted stigma. It accepted that it had been guilty of doing something wrong.

Since then, America has been tentative about advancing its values and interests.

There is no rigorous moral authority in public schools to demand high performance. Thus we ask less of minority students to disprove our racism. If we apply rigorous standards, we are called oppressers.

Black students did worse on their SATs in 2000 than in 1990.

There is no authority in American life to ask anything from blacks. If you are white, you are a racist. If you are black, you're an Uncle Tom.

We tackle problems (such as illegal immigration) until we are threatened with stigmatization, then we say, only 6000 National Guardsmen on the border.

Our serious problems linger and deepen.

White guilt gives anti-Americanism power.

Talk radio is peculiar because it is a white guilt-free zone. These talkshow hosts believe America is a good country and they're not afraid to be stigmatized. And they are stigmatized by the mainstream media. If you invoke Rush Limbaugh's name, even among conservatives, and people shake their heads.

The biggest problem we have as blacks is not racism or oppression but freedom. Freedom shames you. It shows you how undeveloped and uncompetitive you are.

My dad was a janitor in 1965. He was still a janitor in 1985. He did not know how to take advantage of his freedom. He was a good man. He worked hard. He bought houses and renovated them but he could never tell his boss or he'd be perceived as uppity.

Affirmative action is evil. Because of affirmative action, you can't look at any black in a high position and not wonder if they got there on their own merits.

When Jews did not get into the Ivy League as they deserved, they made CCNY (City College of New York [where the friend to the black man Chaim Amalek went to school and became an anti-Stalinist socialist agitator and freedom marcher in Selma, Alabama].

We blacks have not done that.

Rap is a minstrel show. It is blacks selling a comic cartoonish vision of black life. We've always known how to entertain whites that way. It's an old tragic pattern. Eighty percent of rap CDs are sold to whites which they listen to when they're done studying for their SATs. It's blacks who listen to it and take it seriously.

We've always sold to whites an image of black stupidity.

Fifty five percent of federal prison inmates are black.

To properly educate black kids, you often must rip them out of their environment and put them in school all day and much of the evening, but to sustain such schools you have to have teachers willing to work 16 hours a day.

America is so free, blacks at university have retreated into, "I am not really free. Racism is everywhere."

Black students are almost pulled out of their homes and put on campus, that is how eager colleges such as Harvard are to recruit black students. Harvard demands of itself an 8% black student body and it competes hard for black students. Anything less and the university will lose faculty and money.

We blacks have to have racism as a consolation for our lack of progress in the face of America's freedom.

Blacks and Jews were destined to fall out. When Jews got freedom and were allowed into corporations and elite universities in proportion to their merit, they moved ahead. The Jews knew how to move forward. They had the skills and learning and tradition. Once free, they were ready to fly. How do you think that makes blacks feel?

We couldn't hang out with the Jews anymore. It was too painful. Too shameful.

We're at the bottom of the world and we don't know how to get up.

You can look at everything black America does as consolation, trying to make ourselves feel better.

The black American identity is organized in a totalitarian fashion around white guilt. If you dissent, you are dismissed from black life.

If black America had a gulag, I'd be in it. You purge dissidents.

The most positive sign I've seen in years is what Bill Cosby is doing. He goes to towns and brings in morticians and has them describe what happens when a black 14yo boy is shot to death. Black parents who lost kids to gang violence stand up and speak.

Cosby gives tens of million of dollars to black universities.

He is not afraid. I get a little shaky.

When I graduated highscool, I had a B average. I did not belong in the Ivy League but I would've been put there today.

I hope that Oprah gets on the bandwagon. She's made enough money. She can take a risk.

When Tavis Smiley was off camera, we had an interesting conversation. On camera, he had to oppose me. He has to keep up his street cred.

As Cathy S. and I walk back to our cars, we decide not to jaywalk in case the ex-copper decides to beat us up.

Arriving home, and writing up my report, I spot MissSeipp@aol.com on IM but I know she's not that kind of girl, so I don't hit her up.

According to Chaim Amalek's My Space page, his general interests are: "Politics, religion, science, history, torah, demography, physics (my favorite science, so it gets a special mention), creating identities."

Music: "If it sounds ok, I will listen to it. Al Jolson. Screamin' Jay Hawkins. I don't much care for what the kids are listening to these days, especially hip-hop, which is minstrel music pretending to be revolutionary poetry. And while I'm pissing off the masses, I always thought that the Beatles were greatly over-rated."

Movies: "I am fond of historically and emotionally accurate film in any genre."

Television: "Cartoons, documentaries, shows about guys who bend metal, and the occasional bizarre offering on cable access."

Books: "I used to read many books, but then I realized that for every thousand facts I encountered in my reading, I would remember at most two or three. Realizing that 99.7 percent of my efforts were being wasted, I have come to realize that most of the time I have spent reading books has been utterly wasted. These days, I stick to the things a good liberal upper west side Jew such as myself should read: the New York Times, Forward, and maybe the Daily News. OK, so I also read things like math dictionaries before going to bed."

Heroes: "Saul, for sparing the life of King Agog. Lincoln, for freeing the slaves. George Bush, for liberating the Arabs of Iraq. Al Gore, for defending Mother Earth."

About me: "I no longer get out much, as I have gotten very large over the years, but through the internet, I live as full a life as many of you. Looking past my body, you might say that I am something of a I'm a "hybrid hebrew" - Jewish by birth, but also partly Amalekite, which in the minds of many is not a good thing. My kind have been on the run, living partly secret lives, for many, many years. And all because of a few mistranslations in the Jewish bible. I am working on a new version of the bible that will set the record straight."

Who I'd like to meet: "The woman who will marry me and make of me a Father of Nations. I've already picked out the wedding dress she will wear on our special day, as you can see in the photographs. (And speaking of photographs, that one of me was taken decades ago. I've since gained some weight.)"

One in a Thousand

My beautiful friend Hava Volterra has produced a documentary about the history of Jews in Italy. The trailer is stunning and frankly she looks really foxy in it.

Don't hate me 'coz I'm a playa.

God can't give you better, until you let go and release what you have in your hands

SDC writes his Uncle Seymore of Family Business:

Well Uncle Seymore, I'm a f---ing hypocrite! Why? Because not only do I go to church (Evangelical Free), butt through the church I joined a "Purity Platoon." Granted you truly give a s--- about your fans; you should read some of my blogs!

You are my God; my mentor. I idolize your movies and still am in love with Alisha Klass! Anyway, I'm more than familiar with G4 and quite frankly think that channel fits sex and gaming quite well...because Lord knows there's a lot of gaming geeks who masturbate to Lara Croft!

I love sex/porn. I think it's a very creative outlet for sexual fantasies and think that sex and religion do share one common unbreakable bond...the can both be ridiculed for being addictive! Religion is conforming like sex is addictive. That's my discovery on my supposed walk with the Lord.

I truly feel like I'm leading a double life. One minute I'm meeting Ron Jeremy at a sex convention in Minneapolis, Minnesota and the next I'm meeting Pastor Joel Osteen in Richfield, Minnesota. Butt then again, I have a thing for celebrities! Maybe I'll meet you one day, who knows!!! (God willing???)

The Purity Platoon I joined through my church isn't all bad, but at the same time don't expect to wield your civil rights of freedom of choice. My joining the Purity Platoon all came about when I was talking with the Pastor of the church and told him about a goofy day I had. I bought Joel Osteen's book YOUR BEST LIFE NOW and then headed over to a sex store to buy the TEEN OBSESSED: The Voyeur Life of Celinne DVD. Quite the confusing day... So, off to the Purity Platoon I go.

Members of the Platoon wear a dog tag that reads REMAIN PURE OR DIE (I'll take the DIE) and we have homework to do. We are to pray to God to help us avoid any sexual thoughts whatsoever. Are to only look at people from the neck up. Cannot masturbate, view pornography, avoid the flesh and seek the spirit, call our Purity Partners at any time if we are having a difficult time with sexual impulses. Going to the extreme of nearly avoiding any type of media and even reciting bible verses to avoid sexual arousal. The main event of the Purity Platoon was the destruction of all my porn (and I had a hell of a lot and you were included, sorry Uncle Seymore) via bonfire.

As the leaders of the Purity Platoon say, "Dan, God can't give you better, until you let go and release what you have in your hands." or something like that. Years worth of dirty magazines, shirts (PORN AGAIN XXX, limited edition 1994 Playboy Cover Shoot of Jenny McCarthy, PORNSTAR and yes, even your www.TeamTushy.com t-shirt!) 133 porn DVDs up in smoke. A cheap crappy plastic love doll of porn starlet Star E. Knight, sex gag gifts...all in the name of the Almighty God who helps my f---ing cocky ass nephew "Hepatitis KC" get laid while I have to listen to it all and then go home to read M.A.C.K. Tactics because God made me a f---ing pussy introvert!!! Sometimes, it really f---ing sucks being -SDC-!!!

So, why did I join Purity Platoon and burn all my porn??? For one simple reason, deep down...God knows I want to get real tushy! I'm sick of just watching and want to do some actual f---in'!

How To Market Yourself To A Woman

Fred writes:

Luke-- A friend sent a copy of some personal ads from an Irish newspaper. It's an interesting style that you might want to adopt.

Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and has been known for starting fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.

> Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime fiance, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.

> Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.

>Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.

> Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

> Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister.

The Hope for Rehabilitating Gafni/Winiarz

Steven I. Weiss writes:

You had to know that he would end up trying to pull some kind of therapy-makes-me-better schtick, and Jewschool's got the details on what appears to be the route he'll take to that.
My perspective on this is still pretty well encapsulated by the staff editorial I wrote for the Yeshiva University Commentator more than four years ago, in response to this story.
The thing is, virtually all of Gafni's defenders based their recent defense on the notion that even if he'd committed the abuses alleged against him a while ago, he could reasonably be said to have healed, should be allowed to repent, and so forth. Obviously, that proved to be a crock this first time around, but according to his defenders' reasoning, there's no cause for them to bar him from continuing to serve as clergy if he gets a good bill of rehabilitation.
And that's a plainly-wrong atittude; clergy are in place not by grace of God, but by opportunity granted by the community. It is not their right to be clergy, but their privilege. And when they so severely break the trust granted them, they can never be accorded that privilege again.

Why Some Jews Piss Me Off

From a May 17, 2006 posting (by pers-161938357@craigslist.org) to Craigslist:

You know what really pisses me off about some, not all, Jews? The fact that they say they didn't "kill" Jesus, yet they are sooooo afraid of Him. I married a Jew (ended in divorce) and the most troublesome thing about our marriage ceremony was that the word "Jesus" could NOT be uttered by anyone in my family who were doing readings. Oh, sure, it was OK to say "Adonai" and other Hebrew words for God, but my wife demanded no one say Jesus' name for fear of offending her Jewish relatives, as if Jesus was offensive! I, lacking balls at the time, agreed. Afterwards, my testicals re-grew and I divorced her.

Hilarious posts from Gafni's friend Ken Wilber of Integralnaked.org. He's all shocked that someone who teaches for something called Integralnaked could commit "sexual improprieties." Here are excerpts from Wilber:

...I do not believe that somebody with an acknowledged emotional illness or sexual pathology is competent to be a public spiritual teacher. Therefore, at this time, Marc will not be involved in public teaching or presentations of any sort at Integral Institute.

...Sending all of you much Love, Light, and Life,

Ken

Rabbi Yosef Blau responds on Jewschool:

Some critics of Jewish Renewal are responding to the accusations against Mordechai Gafni by criticising the movement. This should not lead to the defensive response of refusing to reevaluate the tragic dismissal of earlier accusations.

I have known Mordechai for at least twenty five years starting when he was a student and during the years that he functioned as an Orthodox rabbi. The young women who complained then and have never modified their stories, did not receive much of a hearing then from an Orthodox rabbinate that was impressed by his charisma and talent. A number of us, followed a career of short periods of brilliance as a head of an outreach program, a teacher and a congregational rabbi each ending suddenly with rumor of scandal. After changing his name and moving to Israel the pattern repeated itself. The only thorough investigation of the accusations was made by a private investigator in Israel in 1997 and it did not clear him. Based on my ongoing conversations with women who had made accusations, which was only a portion of the dossier prepared by the private investigator, the supposed investigations by various rabbis two years ago were minimal and their testimony not heard. I suggest that all the defenders read the long interview with Rabbi Gafni in the magazine (sof hashavua) of Maariv Oct. 15, 2004. If he is sick, then it is not the kind of illness that suddenly strikes someone in his mid forties and his earlier behavior should reevaluated accordingly.

Whether one supports Jewish Renewal or not is irrelevant to the fundamental issue of protecting women from abuse from an authority figure.

Micha Odenheimer writes:

Ken Wilbur has an unfortunate history of turning a blind eye, or “rehabilitating” even the most egregious offenses of people he considers “brilliant”–usually those whose ideas conform in some ways to his own. This history includes fawning praise of Da Free John, but even more significantly, continuing association with “enlightened spiritual master” Andrew Cohen, whose history of severe, ungoing and systematic psychological abuse of his followers is well documented in two books: “Enlightenment Blues” written by Andre van der Braak, a student of Cohen for 11 years, and the other, Mother of God, by Cohen’s own mother, Luna Tarno, who was also his disciple until understanding the tyrannical and narcisistic nature of Andrew’s guruship. There is also ongoing documentation on www.whatenlightenment.blogspot.com.

The Gafni connection is that, through Wilbur, Gafni met Cohen and invited him to tour Israel together with him as a guest of Bayit Hadash. I personally contacted Gafni and warned him of Cohen’s systematic humiliation of his followers, and his creation of an almost fascistic hiearchy of people “in favor” or “out of favor” with Cohen–to no avail. Gafni continued to promote Cohen in Israel. Wilbur continues to benefit from his association with Cohen and to appear with him on the pages of Cohen’s magazine “What is Enlightenment”. So there is a triangle of abuse here, with Cohen, Gafni, Wilbur, with Wilbur acting as enabler of both–and with both Cohen and Gafni returning the favor by continuing to promote Wilbur as a great philosopher and theologian of the New Age. Will Wilbur learn from the Gafni incident and reexamine the copious evidence of Cohen’s continued and extremely severe psychological abuse of followers? I doubt it.

Incidentally, as my friend Shefa Siegal has pointed out, one of the aspects of both Wilbur and Jewish Renewal’s promotion of Gafni and failure to truly investigate accusations against him despite repeated warnings is that Renewal, and I assume Wilbur’s organization, made good money from Gafni. Gafni, a facile “charismatic” speaker, was a good draw for Renewal events and for retreat centers such as Elat Chayim associated with Renewal. Whether consciously or not, I assume this was part of what kept the whole kit and kaboodle running forward.

Yeilah writes:

I am more than a little disturbed by Ken Wilbur’s assumption that Gafni’s sincerity is meaningful. People with pathologies like Gafni’s (I am assuming he has a personality disorder of some kind) are frequently sincere in their apologies once they get caught. I have personal experience with this through a family member, who has issued more than eight deeply sincere and moving apologies but hasn’t been able to stop his behaviot. People like this may mean what they say, but will often cycle through the behavior again, and then offer more sincere apologies when they get caught again. Sadly, sincerity is not a benchmark for success in this matter.

Rabbi Marc Gafni & Andrew Cohen Enlightenment, Evolution, and the Future of Judaism

Rabbi Marc Gafni is not your average Rabbi. He's an unorthodox Orthodox Rabbi, a passionate Kabbalist, a popular Israeli television host, and the founder of Bayit Chadash, an international spiritual community and retreat center committed to Jewish renaissance. Yet no matter how far from the established order he may travel, Gafni never loses sight of those most basic Judaic tenets: pray to God and live a moral, ethical, and generous life, because this life is the one that matters most!

In this videotaped conversation between two spiritual masters, Andrew's original conception of an evolutionary enlightenment engages with Rabbi Gafni's soul-level understanding of Judaism's timeless mystical teachings. Together, these two free-thinkers propel an enduring ancient tradition into the exhilarating and uncharted terrain of the future.

Shmarya blogs in response to the Forward article:

Rabbi Berman found these allegations to lack credibility, even though it now seems clear that he did not speak to Gafni's victims, and even though the 1994 allegations mirror earlier allegations against Gafni. (As the story notes, they also mirror the new allegations against him.) Now, Rabbi Berman "regrets" his support for Gafni. But he has not issued an apology to Gafni's victims, and seems far more concerned about the damage done to his own reputation that the damage done to the bodies and psyches of Gafni's victims.

Also note the following line; "it is vital to distinguish between past accusations against Rabbi Gafni and the current situation." It is vital for Rabbis Berman, Telushkin and Firestone that this artificial distinction be made. With it, their deplorable conduct can be whitewashed.

Gafni has a 30 year history of abuse, a history these scum in rabbis' garments still seek to deny. If the board of Edah does not remove Rabbi Berman, all of us should remove Edah from our checkbooks.

Again, note the lack of concern these "spiritual leaders" have for Gafni's victims. I don't know who is sicker – Gafni the rapist or Berman the rabbi.

Jennifer Siegel writes the first article (I can find) in the Forward about Gafni:

...At least five female students and staff members have come forward to accuse Rabbi Mordechai Gafni of luring them into sexual relationships through intimidation, psychological manipulation and deception.

"The saddest part of the story is that there were these women from the past who had the courage to speak up despite their isolation and their own pain, despite being threatened by him repeatedly, and nobody came forth to give them support," said one of the current accusers at Bayit Chadash, who did not want to be identified by name. "People in this culture [chose] to support the male predator rather than...the women's voices that were alone."

From a May 17, 2006 posting (by pers-161938357@craigslist.org) to Craigslist:

You know what really pisses me off about some, not all, Jews? The fact that they say they didn't "kill" Jesus, yet they are sooooo afraid of Him. I married a Jew (ended in divorce) and the most troublesome thing about our marriage ceremony was that the word "Jesus" could NOT be uttered by anyone in my family who were doing readings. Oh, sure, it was OK to say "Adonai" and other Hebrew words for God, but my wife demanded no one say Jesus' name for fear of offending her Jewish relatives, as if Jesus was offensive! I, lacking balls at the time, agreed. Afterwards, my testicals re-grew and I divorced her.

Steven I. Weiss writes:

You had to know that he would end up trying to pull some kind of therapy-makes-me-better schtick, and Jewschool's got the details on what appears to be the route he'll take to that.
My perspective on this is still pretty well encapsulated by the staff editorial I wrote for the Yeshiva University Commentator more than four years ago, in response to this story.
The thing is, virtually all of Gafni's defenders based their recent defense on the notion that even if he'd committed the abuses alleged against him a while ago, he could reasonably be said to have healed, should be allowed to repent, and so forth. Obviously, that proved to be a crock this first time around, but according to his defenders' reasoning, there's no cause for them to bar him from continuing to serve as clergy if he gets a good bill of rehabilitation.
And that's a plainly-wrong atittude; clergy are in place not by grace of God, but by opportunity granted by the community. It is not their right to be clergy, but their privilege. And when they so severely break the trust granted them, they can never be accorded that privilege again.

Nomi Fredricks writes:

The Los Angeles Times’ staff seems to be following their normal protocol with their lackluster and bizarrely slanted coverage of the Anthony Pellicano case, at least according to an article by Jan Golab in Front Page Magazine from 2005. The dynamic duo of Pulitzer Prize winning LAT beat reporter, Chuck Philips, and his apparent protégé at the City Desk, Andrew Blankstein, apparently made a similar incredulous appearance reporting on the Biggy Small fiasco.

Rabbi Saul Berman's Defense Of Sexual Predator Rabbi Mordecai Gafni

Rabbi Gafni and his supporters widely distributed the following letter from Orthodox Rabbi Saul Berman over the past 18 months:

To Whom It May Concern,

I have had occasion during the spring, summer and fall of 2004 to conduct an extensive personal inquiry in response to accusations which have been made against Rabbi Mordechai Gafni and publicized on the Internet. A more balanced version of these same issues than that on the Internet was raised in an editor’s column by Gary Rosenblatt published in the Jewish Week newspaper, in which Rosenblatt asserted that he was unable to draw either a negative or positive conclusion about these issues, calling his extensive research into the issue an "investigation without a conclusion".

I have invested literally hundreds of hours in talking to parties directly and indirectly related, reading public statements posted on the Internet, and following the unfolding of this issue. I have come to a number of clear and unequivocal conclusions.

First, as I have written in a public letter together with Rabbi Joseph Telushkin and Rabbi Tirzah Firestone, we have found the decades-old accusations against Rabbi Gafni to be unconvincing now, as they were dismissed in responsible contemporaneous investigations. We believe that these accusations have been intentionally distorted, kept alive and circulated by a small group of people who have waged a vendetta-like campaign against Rabbi Gafni, creating a false and unfair impression of his character.

Second, the material posted on the Awareness Center website and related Internet blogs is not credible. Both in regard to Rabbi Gafni as well as to other cases posted there, the Awareness Center has grossly distorted facts and blatantly lied. Indeed, working together with a small team I have collected a host of examples of such behavior on the part of the Awareness Center. While the Awareness Center does address an issue critical to the Jewish community, that of sexual harassment and abuse, the center itself has unfortunately become an abuser itself of the first order.

The major other Internet poster of accusations against Rabbi Gafni is a certain Luke Ford. Luke Ford, who poses as a journalist, also runs a pornography site. He is a discredited Internet gossip columnist for the pornography industry, who, by his own written admission, regularly publishes libelous material as truth without even the slightest attempt at verification.

Third, I have urged Rabbi Gafni to continue actively writing and teaching his communities of students around the world. I have done so based on my firm conclusion that he poses absolutely no danger or threat to anyone. Indeed, I firmly believe that the notion suggested by Vicki Polin of the Awareness Center that he poses any danger whatsoever is patently absurd. While in some areas I would take issue with Rabbi Gafni’s thought, particularly in areas where he departs from classical Orthodoxy, the work he is doing is serious and is of great benefit to the Jewish community worldwide.

I urge the readers of this letter to continue to support Rabbi Gafni’s work, including his public teachings, writings, television projects and social activism. We are in need today of hearing the emerging voices of the next generation of Jewish leadership, and Rabbi Gafni’s voice is one of them. I look forward to learning what he has to teach in the decades to come.

Rabbi Saul J. Berman

(Director, Edah)

Luke says: Let God and man judge between Rabbi Berman and myself regarding Gafni and related issues.

I have never run a pornographic website. I have run or written for websites that reported on the porn industry and related issues (many of these sites took advertising from pornographers).

Berman's alleged about me: "...by his own written admission, regularly publishes libelous material as truth without even the slightest attempt at verification."

That is not true.

Neither Berman nor Telushkin returned my interview requests.

I doubt either man has learned a thing from their dozens of hours spent in defense of sexual predator Mordecai Gafni and their attacks on myself, Vicki Polin, Rabbi Yosef Blau and others who reported accurately on Gafni.

I expect it will be a cold day in hell before we hear apologies from Berman, Telushkin and company for their actions in this matter.

In its September 31, 2004 issue, The Jewish Week published this letter from Rabbi Saul Berman, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin and Rabbi Tirzah Firestone:

To the Editor,

Words can elevate and words can destroy. There was a time when the Jewish community too glibly and carelessly disregarded words of accusation of sexual abuse against clergy. That was clearly wrong, and Gary Rosenblatt of The Jewish Week helped to correct that. The pendulum has now swung to the opposite extreme, as evidenced in Rosenblatt’s column (The Re-Invented Rabbi, 9/24/04).

The column reports an allegation concerning a relationship from twenty-five years ago – when Rabbi Mordechai Gafni was 19 and 20 and not yet a rabbi – in a situation where he had no pastoral relationship with the person in question. Rabbi Gafni has a completely different account of what happened which was not clearly related in the article (including the fact that nothing even vaguely resembling sexual relations took place, which the woman has publicly admitted). We have read her written statement as well and need to note that the story told by this person has significantly changed in different tellings.

Furthermore, we can attest first hand that several years ago Rabbi Gafni made serious attempts to contact this woman in a therapeutically-mediated context—to clarify the huge gulf in their understandings of what happened and, if necessary, to apologize for any way in which she felt hurt. This offer was rejected and the decision was apparently made that the press was a more appropriate vehicle for conversation. The story also reports unsubstantiated allegations which are twenty-years old.

The story critically omits the fact that the professional to whom Rabbi Gafni (then Winiarz) was responsible at the time conducted an investigation and drew the following conclusions in a formal report which was accepted by his superiors:

“I’ve known Rabbi Winiarz for the past six years, and I believe I speak of his character from a position of knowledge and reliability… In his work as director of Jewish Public School Youth, allegations were made as to his improper conduct with a teenage girl and a young female adult. For several months, in the spring and summer of 1986, I delved into the accusations and had numerous conversations with a number of people who were associated with Rabbi Winiarz both professionally and personally. I also talked to the accusing parties as well as members of their families, rabbis close to them and agency personnel involved in the work of JPSY. I also, of course, spoke at length to Rabbi Winiarz about these matters. It was my conclusion, based on clear and compelling reasons, that the accusations were not true and were not substantiated. I might add that this was also the view of a clinical psychologist who interviewed Rabbi Winiarz and the teenager after the alleged incident.”

We have collectively looked at this issue again in the last six months, and come to a similar conclusion. This person has been spoken to directly and we have read her written statement. It is very clear to us that these women are in close touch with a small group of people who have for more then two decades done all they could to carry out a vendetta against Rabbi Gafni. Both statements, their particularly compelling nature and their posting on the Internet, were all clearly crafted and coordinated by this group.

As their statements indicate, the women have been falsely led to believe by this group that Rabbi Gafni is a great threat to other women and that they must therefore “stop” him. It needs to be further noted, Rabbi Gafni has long expressed his desire to meet with any of the parties who feel he has wronged them—even when he has a completely different account of the situation.

We, like Gary Rosenblatt, have struggled with the question of what gravity to assign to recycled allegations. Our conclusion differs from that of Mr. Rosenblatt. We have collectively, over many years, spoken to virtually everyone who would speak to us who was directly involved in order to examine the accusations against Rabbi Gafni.. There is simply no evidence that Rabbi Gafni constitutes a risk to Jewish women, or to anyone for that matter. We pray that this unfair scandalous moment will soon be forgotten and that Rabbi Gafni will be able to free his spiritual energy and formidable intellect in order to help build Jewish consciousness and commitment.

Predator Rabbi Mordecai Gafni's Supporters

Metuka Benjamin (Director of Education, Stephen S. Wise Temple), Rabbi Phyllis Berman (Former Director Elat Chayyim summer program), Rabbi Saul Berman (Director, Edah Zivit) Davidovich (Executive Producer, Israel Channel 2 Television), Rabbi Tirzah Firestone (Congregation Nevei Kodesh), Rabbi Shefa Gold (Director C-Deep, composer and teacher), Rabbi Arthur Green (Dean, Hebrew College Rabbinical School), Rabbi Eli Herscher (Stephen S. Wise Synagogue) Arthur Kurzweil (former Director, Elat Chayyim, Jewish Book Club), Avraham Leader (Leader Minyan, Bayit Chadash) Stephen Marmer, M.D. (Psychiatrist, UCLA Medical School) Jacob Ner-David (Board Chair, Bayit Chadash) Peter Pitzele (Ph.D., Bibliodrama Institute) Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (Rabbinic Chair, Aleph Don Seeman, Ph.D. Emory University) Rabbi Joseph Telushkin (author, Jewish Literacy and Jewish Wisdom) Rabbi David Zaslow (Havurah Shir Hadash) Noam Zion (Hartman Institute), signed the following letter (in early 2005 I presume) and gave it to Gafni and his supporters to distribute as widely as they say fit:

To The Jewish Community worldwide:

In this letter we the undersigned ask the Jewish community worldwide to reaffirm its commitment to the Torah, and to the ethical principles of Judaism. Although the specific focus of our discussion is Rabbi Mordechai Gafni, whom have known collectively for many years, the issues we address are universal and timeless.

A group of several people – none of whom know Rabbi Gafni personally in any real way, and none who has had any contact in the past twenty years – have undertaken a systematic campaign to besmirch his name. Their primary method has been to keep alive and distort two very old and long discredited stories. Their attacks have recently increased in volume and intensity. He has consistently and generously offered to meet with them, but they have refused.

Many people who know Rabbi Gafni well, as all the undersigned do, have individually and collectively examined the accusations about him that this group has been spreading. We have found their rumors and accusations to be either wholly without substance or radically distorted to the point of falsification. We conclude that the false and malicious rumors against Gafni constitute lashon hara – and that the dissemination of such lies is prohibited by the Torah and Jewish ethical principles.

Thus we must address and to make right the wrong that has been attempted in regard to Rabbi Gafni, and affirm our support of him as an important teacher and leader in the Jewish community.

We have worked with Rabbi Gafni in many contexts, ranging from colleague to employer. We have published his works in our collections, co-taught with him, and known him in a host of other close relationships. Over the years, we have also extensively discussed with him the different stages of his life and the decisions he has made in relationships, professional choices and more.

We affirm without reservation that in addition to being a person of enormous gifts, depth, and vision, Rabbi Gafni is also a person of real integrity. He possesses a unique combination of courage and audacity coupled with a genuine humility that comes only from having lived life fully – with all of its complexity, beauty and sometimes pain.

Leaders of his caliber and depth who are committed to ongoing personal development are few and far between. From our dual commitment to him as an individual, as well as to the most profound ethical teachings of the Torah, we urge you as the reader of this letter to reject the false reports about Rabbi Gafni, and to give him your full support, as we all have done and continue to do.

If you have further questions, please feel free to contact any one of us directly.

From the New York Post:

May 15, 2006 -- An anatomy professor at a prominent medical school solicited oral sex in exchange for good grades, according to the latest in a string of lawsuits against Yeshiva University in The Bronx. Marlen Abramova, a Queens woman with a successful academic track record, said she was expelled from the university's Albert Einstein College of Medicine after anatomy professor Todd Olson accused her of "professional misconduct" for allegedly cheating and lying to instructors about exams. But Abramova - a summa cum laude graduate of Queens College - said the cheating charge is a nasty payback for her own harassment allegations. "He solicited me for sex in exchange for good grades in his class," said Abramova, who filed the suit, seeking unspecified damages, earlier this month in Manhattan federal court.

Jewish Survivors More details

Reflections On Rabbi Mordecai Gafni

It was only a question of time. He was going to self-destruct. The only question was who would he bring down with him and how big would he desecrate God's name.

All these famous rabbis (many of them good people such as Joseph Telushkin) who went to bat for Gafni. What are they going to do? The odds are they will learn nothing. Had Rabbi Saul Berman ever contacted the victims? Did he ever return calls on this? Did Telushkin do any research before going on the attack against those who told Gafni's story?

Berman and Telushkin and company suffer from a willful blindness on rabbi-predators. Character-assassination is terrible, but it is even worse to stand by while the blood of your neighbor is shed.

Gafni reminds me of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach. He has many of Carlebach's moral failings.

There must be something more going on with these new allegations against Gafni. He must've screwed up with the wrong person, with the wife or daughter or sister of someone powerful.

Gafni's teachings are all about the joys of eros, that it has been hijacked in the Jewish community and he needs to bring it back, so it is no surprise that sex would trip him up again. He's long taught that you don't need to pray. You need to touch your partner. He leads people naked running into the ocean. Public nudity is completely contrary to Jewish values and law.

Sex is about all Gafni sells anyway.

I'm sure there are dozens of women who'd throw themselves at Gafni, but I think he wanted more. He wanted such passion to be a part of his ideology and quest for power.

The latest people accusing Gafni of sexual misconduct are his students and staff at Bayit Chadash.

What led to his dismissal from Bayit Chadash must be really bad. It must be more than just normal sex. According to the depositions, it is sado-masochistic sex, power exchange sex. He'd have women watch him masturbating. Women who had been abused in the past would come to him for healing and his laying on of hands would only make things worse for them.

I'm told that Gafni has admitted everything and said he's very sick and needs therapy. He's preparing his way for rehabilitation. He's apparently divorced his third wife and tried to ensure that she will stay silent.

A year from now, will we see Gafni on Oprah with a new book? He could say, "I was a monster but now I'm rehabilitated and you can be too." He could open up rehab clinics.

This is not the first time Gafni has had to leave a job because of scandal.

For years, Gafni has walked around in his briefcase with a file in his own defense, including a psychological evaluation that he's healthy. He has this Harvard lawyer girlfriend Erica Fox who purports to have found all sorts of holes and contradictions in the testimony of various women against Gafni.

It reminds me of this homeless man in Maryland who was once a college professor. He took advantage of a little known law that if you run for public office and you get enough people to sign for you, you get public funding. A newspaper picked up the story. It turned out that the man had been institutionalized for mental issues. A reporter asked him about this. The man's response was, "When I was released, I was given documents that attest to my sanity. I challenge my opponents to bring documents that attest to their sanity."

Mordecai walked around with documents that attested to his innocence.

Jacob Ner-David is the chairman of Bayit Chadash. He's rich and arrogant. Many people warned him about Gafni but Jacob said he knew better.

Jacob's wife, Haviva Ner-David, wrote the 2000 book Life on the Fringes: A Journey toward Orthodox Ordination.

From The Jerusalem Post May 4, 2006:

Haviva Ner-David is an Orthodox feminist who has been a leader of some of the most prominent struggles in Jewish women's lives. Just before Pessah, she received her PhD in Jewish studies from Bar-Ilan University. And then, on the eve of Pessah, Ner-David was ordained as a rabbi in Jerusalem.

Ner-David, who has journeyed through feminism, Judaism and social action for the betterment of the status of Jewish women, admits that she is still not completely aware of the tremendous significance of these two events. She knows that some Orthodox Jews will not accept her ordination and will not acknowledge her religious and social status as a rabbi.

Yet this young and quiet resident of Baka and mother of five says she is neither hesitant nor frustrated: the dream she began to cherish some 12 years ago is coming true.

Rabbi Aryeh Strikovsky, well-regarded in modern Orthodox circles, signed Ner-David's ordination, mentoring and guiding her through her process of study.

Strikovsky notes that the ordination that he gave to Ner-David is not the same as the more common ordination given to men.

Luke says: Clearly the Ner-Davids love publicity. How much will they enjoy the publicity they deserve for giving shelter for years to Mordecai Gafni?

I hear that Jacob Ner-David has given the story of Gafni's dismissal to Gary Rosenblatt, Editor of The Jewish Week.

Why did Aron Tendler take so long to go down? YULA and Orthodox leaders probably took an ultra-halakhic approach that there weren't two witnesses to his wrongdoing (of course there are rarely witnesses to predatory sexual behavior) and that the problem would be solved by switching him to a boys school. Everyone in Orthodox LA leadership knew for almost 20 years that Aron had a problem with the girls.

The atmosphere has changed. The internet has given people to power to write about Aron and other predators and eventually the tide turned against Aron.

Aron's peers didn't believe the accusers. They didn't internalize the seriousness of it. They just wanted to get him out of the situation where people could accuse Aron.

The Orthodox need to create a special Beit Din (Jewish Law Court) that's trained in dealing with these matters.

Jewish Whistleblower writes:

If you want to clean up the problem, the first step is to fire Arthur Waskow and remove him from public life. He put his name behind Gafni. He treated Gafni’s earlier survivors like garbage as did his colleagues. Now he must take responsibility and be held accountable. This was not an apology in any way, shape or form. Waskow knew the allegations of sexual assault against children AND still claimed an investigation when there was none. He proclaimed Gafni’s innocence when he could not possibly claim so. He is personally responsible for what people have suffered. He put them in danger. He owes a public apology to past and current survivors of Gafni. Damn him and the rest of those who protected child abuser Gafni. Damn them all.

Mobius (owner of Jewschool.com) writes: "I am banning JWB from posting further as he/she has absolutely nothing further to contribute to this conversation and keeps writing massively long diatribes saying the exact same thing over and over and over and over… WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST 50,000 TIMES and it’s enough."

Larry Yudelson writes:

At this point, JWB/Jewish Survivors/Vicki Polin have become part of the problem, not part of the solution. They have sufficiently discredited themselves with their own craziness on their blogs and others that people like Tendler and Gafni have successfully deflected their attacks. The question is, is there a need for a group advocating for these issues? What would its charter look like? What services would it provide?

From MarcGafni.com:

Rabbi Marc Gafni has also been working with Erica Fox for the last several years on the development of the Harvard Negotiation Insight Initiative at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, which engages cutting edge conversation between the fields of conflict management and the great wisdom traditions.

Rabbi Marc Gafni's work has deservedly earned him the reputation as a modern philosopher and spiritual master: wise, compassionate, inspired and universal.

He has just completed writing his doctoral dissertation at Oxford University, an analysis of the possibilities of a humanism which emerges from the ground of non-duality in Hassidic sources, based primarily on the text Mei Ha'Shiloach by the Ishbitzer Rebbe, Rabbi Mordechai Joseph Leiner.

Like all great thinkers he has suffered attack, false accusation and being misunderstood; Rabbi Marc Gafni seems however to be weathering both the adulation and the slings and arrows with a smile.

From USAJewish 4/20/06:

Mordechai Gafni and Hershy Worch in Open Discussion of the Izbicer

There will be a Symposium... this coming Sunday afternoon with Rabbi Gafni and J. Hershy Worch and friends - between 3:00 pm and 4:30 pm.

''Magical'' Afternoon of Izbicer Study in Chicago

Yori Yanover Vs. Vicki Polin.

Two Anecdotes About Rabbi Yosef B. Soloveitchik

These came from a reliable source who heard them straight from the lips of the Rav:

When Jimmy Carter was running for president, the Rav said, "I never trust anybody who says, 'Trust me.'

In 1982, after Sabra and Chatilla, the Rav was very upset that Jews were complicit in the mass murder of defenceless Palestinian refugees. The Rav went on and on. He said that Jews should add to their penitential prayers that the Jews were passively involved in the murder of innocent people. He said the Jewish people had collective responsibility for what happened. It should've been foreseen and prevented.

In the 1950s, the Rav had the same view about the American Jewish community's tepid response to the Holocaust while it was going on and that the American Jewish community should do collective penance for standing by while innocent blood was shed (quoting verses by Joseph).

Larry Yudelson writes: "Talking about the Parsha one day in '84/85, he described Pharoah as you know, basically out of touch of what was happening in the periphery of the empire. Someone, it became clear, remarkably like then-president Ronald Reagan."

The Role of Hustler Magazine in our Civic Discourse

I email:

Dear Mr. Rutten,

Do you have any thoughts on the job Allan MacDonell did with Hustler and how he informed the national conversation about our society's pressing issues?

PS If you purely had a physiological reaction to Hustler, it would be groovy to hear that too.

Tim Rutten (from The Los Angeles Times) replies:

I've never been a Hustler reader, so I'm afraid I don't have any thoughts on Allan MacDonell or his contribution. However, I always have admired the willingness of Huster, Playboy and similar publications to pay serious writers serious money to do serious journalism and to defend the First Amendment freedoms on which we all rely. I'm aware, of course, that they have economic and status reasons for doing so. . .but, at the end of the day, who cares? The fact remains that they did these things when others wouldn't. As far as my "physiological reaction to Hustler" goes, suffice to say that my response is about the same as that of most men when presented with pictures of attractive women unclothed.

Rabbi Mordecai Gafni's Open Letter

To my holiest friends,

I want to say I understand I have made grave mistakes. I made choices that clearly hurt people I love. I am infinitely saddened and profoundly sorry for the pain I have caused.

I take full responsibility for all the pain I have inflicted. Clearly all of this and more indicates that in these regards I am sick. I need to acknowledge that sickness and to get help for it. That is what I am doing in this letter.

I want to state clearly and unequivocally that I now recognize that I am sick in these ways and I am committed with all of my energy to check myself into the appropriate programs that will get me healing on this. I have already turned to a leading figure to guide my treatment program and am entering treatment immediately. want to enter into the most appropirate healing process with both myself and where appropirate with the others involved.

I promise you from the bottom of my heart and in the name of everything that is holy, I am taking this crisis with utmost seriousness. I am making healing the number one priority of my life. I must act now to discover what led to me to make these damaging choices that hurt people I care about, hurt my community, and hurt the people who have supported me for years in building Bayit Chadash.

In light of all that has happened I am leaving all of my rabbinic teaching capacities. I am looking now, together with a professional team, for in-house treatment centers where I can go and learn about what led me here, where I can grieve for all the pain that I have caused, and where I can heal so that this never happens again. I apologize with all of my heart and soul to everyone.

With love and pain beyond words,

Mordechai

Robert Kolker writes in New York magazine:

On May 4, Framowitz filed a $20 million federal lawsuit against Kolko and Yeshiva Torah Temimah of Flatbush, Brooklyn, for what Framowitz says happened on at least fifteen occasions over two years, from 1969 to 1971—in the front seat of the Plymouth, and at the yeshiva at the end of recess, and at Camp Agudah in the Catskills, where Kolko worked for several summers.

...Framowitz’s attorney, Jeffrey Herman, was expected to file a separate, $10 million suit on behalf of an unnamed plaintiff who says he was abused by Kolko in the late eighties. All told, Herman says he knows of as many as twenty victims between the ages of 19 and 50 who say they were abused by Kolko.

...Rabbi-on-child molestation is a widespread problem in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, and one that has long been covered up, according to rabbis, former students, parents, social-service workers, sociologists, psychologists, victims’ rights advocates, and survivors of abuse interviewed for this story.

By Luke Ford Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four Chapter Five  Chapter Six   Chapter Seven  Chapter Seven B  Chapter Eight   Chapter Nine  Chapter Ten  Chapter Eleven  Chapter Twelve  1994-1997 1997  1998 1999 2000 2001

The youngest of three children, I was born 5/28/66 in Kurri Kurri, Australia in the state of New South Wales. My father, D--smond Ford chaired the Religion Department of the Seventh Day Adventist Avondale College in Cooranbong, which is located between Sydney and Newcastle.

The night before my first birthday, my mother Gwen became sick. The doctors discovered she had bone cancer and over the next three years she wasted away to sixty pounds and died.

During her illness, my family fell apart. Because dad had his hands full looking after mom and his work, my sister Ellen (in her early teens), my brother Paul (not quite a teenager) and I (years one to four-and-a-half) stayed in different homes.

Living with about a dozen families during these years left me insecure and angry. My father remembers me as a child throwing horse manure at people and screaming, "I hate you. I hate you."

I once fell off a pier while throwing stones at my sister Ellen in a canoe. I almost drowned before she saved me.

Acting in anger and hatred throughout my life, I frequently precipitated what I feared most, the loss of friendships and the need to rely upon the very people I'd abused.

Seventh Day Adventist officials pressured my father to remarry soon after my mother's death, despite his own inclinations to the contrary. They realized that as a prominent bachelor he'd be chased by "skirts." One woman told my dad that she had received visions that they were to marry. My father replied that if that was true, he would have received visions too and he had not.

Seven months after my mother's death, dad married his secretary and former student, Gill--n W-stell, on the day she graduated with a BA in Education from the Adventist Avondale College.

My family then left for England, stopping along the way in such countries as India and Israel. I graduated from diapers during our stay in the Holy Land.

I clung to my new mother. "I'm a lucky boy," I'd tell Gill. "Most boys have only one mother. I've had lots. But I don't want any more."

At night I knelt by my bed and prayed for dad's boss "F.F. Boose", which was my way of pronouncing the name of the famed Christian bible scholar F.F. Bruce.

Dr. Bruce at Manchester University supervised my father's second doctorate (New Testament Studies). Dad completed his first Ph.D. (Rhetoric) at Michigan State University. Each took him 18-months.

Following a three month tour of Europe, my family returned in 1972 to Avondale College. In the language of the Aboriginess, Cooranbong means "The place of the flies." As a schoolchild, my classmates and I amused ourselves by tearing off wings and watching the flies buzz in helpless circles on our desks.

After a couple of years wandering around the bush near our home, I entered school in second grade.

My previous social isolation did not prepare me for the classroom. Socially awkward, I made few friends outside my best friend, Wayne Cherry. His mother had to intervene that year to allow me to attend Gavin Brown's birthday party. Several boys made it clear to me that day that if they'd had their way, I'd still be at home.

This feeling of being an unpopular outsider persists in me frequently to this day.

Perhaps it was just as well that I didn't get too close to my schoolmates considering what some of them were into - each other and animals. By age ten many of the boys in my school had powerful sex drives which they released through mutual masturbation, oral and anal sex and bestiality. Not even goats, ducks and other farm animals were safe.

Being a big chicken, I stayed away from this wild experimentation.

The girls around me showed little interest in sex and correctly thought of us boys as barbarians. I liked to lift the girls' skirts and poke them with sticks. I also enjoyed lying beside the stairs so that I could look up the girls' legs.

"Mary's wearing green knickers (underwear)," I'd announce. "Jean has red knickers."

In my groin, I felt a dull ache to penetrate that mystery zone where the girls' thighs came together. Only the threat of punishment and shame stopped me from forcing my way in.

One day in fourth grade, a friend and I got caught looking at his brother's porn collection. I have never been so frightened. Lucky for me, his mother never told my parents.

I learned from my Adventist upbringing that the biggest sins were sexual. (Denying Christ was a sin so huge that it went off the scale.) Other biggies were theft, smoking and drinking, eating candy, and eating between meals. I committed such sins regularly (except for the drinking. To this day I dislike the taste of alcohol). I stole money from my parents and bought forbidden sweets -- candy, cookies, ice cream, sugary drinks... I consumed these goodies privately while wandering around the Cooranbong scrub.

Once, on a third grade campout, some of my schoolmates told my teacher about my large pile of forbidden sweets. Mrs. P. talked to my parents who gave me the following punishment for the next few years: I had to read 30-40 pages of theology every day and type one to two page summaries. I also could no longer eat lunch with my friends at school but had to eat at home.

Not only did my social graces develop behind those of my classmates, but I also felt behind them physically, emotionally and academically. Intellectually, however, I was generally ahead of people my own age for I read more books.

I principally used my brain in school to make fun of people. My fifth grade teacher Mrs. Mazzaferri wrote in my school report that "Luke is always willing to share his ideas with the class, but he needs to be more tolerant of the slower thinker."

My sister Ellen, born on the 29th of October, 1955, and my brother Paul, born December 20th, 1957, left home early so that they could freely explore the pleasures of the world. Both rebelled against the strictures of my father and his Christianity.

I've been like an only child through much of my life which accounts in part for my introspection.

My active search for a world-transforming career began at about age seven when I learned to read. I loved history, particularly of the British, American and Old Testament kind. I teethed on books of heroes such as Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln and King David.

I believed that English-speaking people had a divine mission to civilize the world by making it western, democratic and Christian. This divine mission began with Abraham in Genesis and continued through Moses and the prophets Isaiah and Daniel to Jesus, Columbus, Martin Luther, democracy, capitalism and America. I believed in one ethic for everybody - a Bible-based English-speaking White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Male ethic.

My historical bent should have merged with my Seventh Day Adventist (SDA) religion. Christianity, I learned from my father who chaired Avondale's religion department for over twenty years, was uniquely a historical faith. God had sent His Son into our history.

But I perceived that intervention diminishing the grandeur I wanted for my history. My religion and my ego were at odds. Christianity taught that the life and death of Jesus fulfilled history. The greatest hope of all my Christian friends was for the Second Coming which would end all history. The Cross was not an event in the temporal process that I understood by history. Rather, it was an event in the history of salvation, an eschatological moment in the realm of eternity when this profane history came to an end, just as history comes to an end for each Christian who is in Christ. (Eliezer Berkovitz)

Jews I first met in the pages of the Gospels. At the time, I understood the main figures of the Old Testament, such as Abraham, Moses and Isaiah, as proto-Christians. The Pharisees seemed a hypocritical bunch, "tithing thimmun and cummin yet ignoring the weightier matters of the law such as justice, mercy and faith." They were stupid too, unable to understand the parables of Jesus that foretold his coming death and resurrection.

Jews tried many times to kill Jesus for healing on the Sabbath. Eventually they brought him before Pilate, a kindly Roman, yelling "Crucify Him, crucify Him." It seemed as if all the Jews in the world were in Pilot's courtyard lusting for the blood of the Divine Savior who sought only to save them from sin.

Jews forced the Romans to crucify Jesus and in so doing they took an eternal curse upon themselves and their offspring. "May his blood be on us and on our children."

Christ fulfilled and superceded Judaism. My Church was now the true Israel. The few Jews around today were fraudulent representatives of the Old Testament tradition, sent into exile by God and tortured for two millennia for murdering His Son.

With the Crucifixion at the center of my religion, I felt ambivalence towards Jews and their bloody deed which brought salvation to the world.

I saw Jews occupying history's starring roles. My religion's God, Son of God, God Incarnate, Messiah, Apostles, Bible, and commandments all came from the Jews. John 4:22 said "salvation is of the Jews." Jews, Jews, Jews... They seemed to have done it all. What was left for me to do?

One option, which filled the life of my father, was to get out the word that the Jewish Messiah had come. But that approach was not for me, for I lacked faith. I didn't see how the life and death of Jesus made any difference in this world.

Not heavenly minded enough to appreciate that Christ's redemption was a spiritual redemption from the cares and concerns of this world, which was still in the grip of the Devil, I fell out of step with my eschatological (end of time) religion.

After hearing a powerful sermon on the End of Time, I once burst out to the evangelist, "If I make the world better, I'll only delay the Second Coming of Jesus."

"That's right," said my father.

I knew in my gut that something wasn't right. I did not want to reject religion as nonsense because life seemed to have no ultimate purpose without it, and most of the good people I knew were Christians. Yet, I could not reconcile my dreams with my Faith. For the next thirteen years my attention slipped to lesser matters, and the morality of my behavior and world-view dropped steadily below what it had been at age nine.

Read On

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  Luke in 1994
  
  
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  Luke in 1977
  
  
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  Luke in 1978
  
  
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  Luke in 1979
  
  
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  Luke in 1977
  
  
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  Luke in 1978 running across Golden Gate Bridge
  
  
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  Luke as a baby, with his mom and brother
  
  
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  Luke in Brisbane this week 4/00
  
  
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  Luke with Elenne's dog Coco Channel
  
  
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  Dad, Luke, Paul
  
  
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  Luke, Elenne, Paul on Christmas, 1989
  
  
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  Luke, 12/87
  
  
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  Luke
  
  
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  Luke at Sierra College, 6/88
  
  
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  Luke and his big sister
  
  
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  Luke, 12/89
  
  
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  Luke, Paul, 12/89
  
  
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  Luke, 12/87
  
  
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  Luke, 12/86
  
  
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  Luke in Monterey, 8/81
  
  
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  Luke, 12/86
  
  
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  Luke w family, 12/86
  

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Luke at KAHI/KHYL radio in 12/86

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Luke w family, 1967

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Luke with his mommy Gwen, 1966

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Luke, Elenne 12/87

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Luke, 12/87

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Luke, 12/87

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Luke 12/87

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Luke, Paul, 12/89

Luke in 1992

Luke graduates Placer High School in June 1984

Luke's 8th grade graduation from Pacific Union College Elementary School

Luke's dad baptizes him and Wayne Cherry (right) in February 1982

Luke's 8th grade graduation

Luke

Luke

Luke

Luke circa 1976

Luke with his best friend Wayne Cherry in early 1977

Luke

Luke with his dad

Luke 1977

Luke with his stepmom Gill circa 1976

Luke, Elenne in December 1988

Luke in 1994

Luke on his GF's bed at UCLA Rieber Hall 1989

Luke, UCLA, August 1989

Luke in center

Luke Ford is the author of four books, including Rebel Without a Shul, The Producers: Profiles in Frustration, and Yesterday's News Tomorrow: Inside American Jewish Journalism.

Read Luke's autobiography here. Pictures of Luke here. Fiction. Contact info. Luke's Buzznet site. MySpace.

David Poland writes 8/15/02 on TheHotButton.com: "I recently ran into a guy named Luke Ford, who I had lost over time. When I caught up with his website at lukeford.net, he was shredding some shreddable industryite or another. But after more digging, I found that Luke has done some pretty unusual journalistic work… He is building a database of in-depth interviews with Hollywood producers, the least interviewed group of high-profile industry players. The list he’s developed is pretty jaw-dropping."

Author Mickey Kaus writes on Slate.com 10/28/03: "I didn't realize just how irresponsible we normally are in everyday private conversations until I encountered L.A. blogger Luke Ford. Ford goes around to parties with a tape recorder and immediately posts snatches of dialogue on the web. His reporting is impeccable. He has faithfully quoted me libeling dozens of people on two separate occasions."

"Luke Ford is the Andy Kaufman of bloggers," says Allan Mayer, former editor of Buzz magazine.

"...[H]uman Echelon Project," writes Mickey Kaus 4/27/05.

On 11/14/03, The New York Times apologized for its plagiarism of a paragraph of Lukeford.net by Hollywood correspondent Bernard Weinraub. "That paragraph was reproduced nearly verbatim from a Weblog compiled by a Los Angeles journalist, Luke Ford..."

Luke appeared in the USA Today (8/2/00), New York Post (10/7/97), New Times Los Angeles cover story (1/28/99), Los Angeles Times (7/8/99, 6/10/04), Sydney Morning Herald (11/14/98), Rolling Stone (8/19/99), Village Voice (3/4/99), The Independent on Sunday (1/18/98), GQ (12/99, British edition), Salon.com (7/13/99), Online Journalism Review (7/9/98), Composite (9/98), the Forward (1/7/00, 7/30/04), New York Times (5/20/01, 11/14/03), Details magazine 6/01, The Jerusalem Report (7/31/01, 8/19/04), Los Angeles magazine (04/04), LA Weekly cover (4/20/06) and numerous other publications.

His TV appearances include Entertainment Tonight 2/8/99, Fox Files 3/25/99, the E! True Hollywood Story, (11/5/00), Disinfo Nation (May, 2001), the National Enquirer's TV show Uncovered (6/13/01), VH1 (10/12/03), and 60 Minutes (11/23/03). He's in the National Film Board of Canada documentary "Give Me Your Soul" which premiered 10/20/00 on the CBC program Newsworld.

Luke's been interviewed by over 50 radio stations around the world, including Los Angeles's talk radio powers KFI and KLSX.

The son of a Christian evangelist, Luke grew up in Australia until moving to California in 1977. During the 1980s he wrote for various newspapers including the Auburn Journal and worked as a reporter in the news department of KAHI/KHYL radio in the Sacramento area. He studied economics at UCLA but dropped out short of his undergraduate degree.

"...he breaks legitimate stories that have a huge impact." Emmanuelle Richard, Online Journalism Review

"...aggressive, eloquent, he's a kind of shaggy-haired, acid-washed Brad Pitt..." The Weekly Standard

"Smart, insightful and with a charming Australian accent, Ford is one of the most fascinating characters..." Michelle Goldberg, Speak magazine

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Rabbinic Sex Abuse
Media Bias
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Yesterdays News Tomorrow: Inside American Jewish Journalism

Glossary Jewish Sources For Journalistic Ethics New Jewish Times

My interviews, profiles and plain tomfoolery include: Yosef Abramowitz Edward Alexander Michael Berenbaum Sally Berkovic James Besser Stephen Bloom Andrew Silow-Carroll Shmuley Boteach Benyamin Cohen Debra Nussbaum Cohen Robert Cohn Ami Eden Rob Eshman Larry Cohler-Esses Matt Dorf Ami Eden Charles Fenyvesi Eric Fingerhut Amnon Finkelstein Sue Fishkoff Samuel Freedman Stephen Fried Robert I. Friedman Jonathan Friendly Neal Gabler Evan Gahr J.J. Goldberg Ari Goldman Yossi Klein Halevi Malcolm Hoenlein Wayne Hoffman Hollywood Jews Mickey Kaus Eve Kessler Michael Kinsley Amy Klein Marc S. Klein Lisa S. Lenkiewicz Gene Lichtenstein Jason Maoz Jonathan Mark Deborah Dash Moore Alana Newhouse Gustav Niebuhr Ori Nir Steve Rabinowitz Gary Rosenblatt Jennie Rothenberg Debra Rubin Neil Rubin Walter Ruby Douglas Rushkoff Jonathan Sarna Cathy Seipp Rabbi Avi Shafran Mark Silk Sheldon Teitelbaum Jonathan Tobin Tom Tugend David Twersky Teresa Watanabe Steven I. Weiss Leon Wieseltier Paul Wilkes Lauren Winner Yori Yanover Larry Yudelson

May 2004

I make it a religious obligation to pray in shul several times a week, if not several times a day. But much of the time, I'm bored out of my mind. So, following the cues of my mentor Dennis Prager, I always take a book on Judaism with me to shul, and frequently finish several books a week while rattling off my prayers by rote. A poor scribbler, I borrow most of my books from the Los Angeles Public Library. Once or twice a month, I check www.lapl.org and order in to my branch most of the new books on my religion.

On Friday night, January 3, 2003, I picked up Stephen Fried's The New Rabbi: A Congregation Searches For Its Leader. I was immediately mesmerized and I did not put the book down until I had finished it around midnight. It's the greatest work of Jewish journalism I've ever read.

I know that's not saying much. Most Jewish journalism is sanitized and dull. All American Jewish newspapers (except the secular Forward) suck. They're controlled by such powerful institutions as the Jewish Federations and their idea of reporting is reprinting press releases. As Fried writes in his prologue:

When I was a kid, my parents had a Jewish bookshelf. On it were three kinds of books. There were, of course, prayer books and Bilbes: some ours, some "accidentally" brought home from the synagogue and some-day to be returned. There were handsomely bound scholarly or historic books, most accepted as gifts and never read, except to look up something for Hebrew school. And then there were novels, like The Chosen and the "Tuesday the Rabbi" books and even Exodus - the pulpit fiction of the day, where the struggle between religious life and real life was explored in language that anyone could understand: the human drama of the intersection of the divine and the secular, the battles between God and man and American culture, the searches for spiritual awakening and the perfect bar mitzvah caterer.

To broach these same subjects in non-fiction, especially the emotional and financial intricacies of American synagogue life, was considered dangerous, "bad for the Jews." And, to this day, that's still basically true. While Jewish bookshelves now teem with a new genre, spiritual self-help and how-to books, there is still very little journalism on the lives of American Jews as Jews. The scarcity is such that a recent book on American rabbis actually resorted to using many examples drawn from fiction - including quotes form fictitious rabbis - to illustrate points that everyone knows to be true, but almost no one dares to write down in narrative non-fiction.

On page 29, he writes:

My unusual request to observe the rabbi interviews and deliberations [at Har Zion] seems to have aroused equal parts of fascination and suspicion. Nobody says so, but it is clear that committee members are concerned about what an unchecked journalist would write a Jewish institution. All the other volunteer work they do is covered solely by the local Jewish press [Jewish Exponent], which is published by the local chapter of "Federation." The Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia is part of a massive nationwide fund-raising network, a Jewish United Way, which takes great pains to make sure possible donors are never caused great pain by its Jewish media. Har Zion is one of the most charitable congregations in America, and its members are accustomed to being lionized for their good works. In fact, whenever the lay media cover anybody Jewish in anything but a congratulatory way, there is much tongue clicking.

A friend who's worked in the Jewish press emails me June 17, 2004:

If you are really researching Jewish journalism, you should look up Larry Cohler, who now writes for the NY Daily News, I believe. He was the great "stir the pot" investigative Jewish journalist in the 1980's and '90's -- Washington Jewish Week, then NY Jewish Week, and some other places -- who pissed off the establishment on a regular basis. Federation types used to turn green at the mention of his name.

The basic problem in Jewish journalism, aside from Federation control -- is needing to make a living. People hit their 30's and need to support families. Therefore, they have to join the establishment papers -- as editors if they want to make any kind of money, or move into better-paying work. Or, if they are excellent journalists, like Larry, they break out of the Jewish ghetto.

Or like the late Robert Friedman, they write about Jewish issues for the Village Voice, etc. I'm sure that someone like Steven is eventually going to stop being young and hungry and move on to the mainstream. He's already gotten stuff in New York Magazine. Before him, Jeff Goldberg climbed from the Jerusalem Post to the Forward, to NY Magazine, to NY Times Magazine to the New Yorker (where he just wrote about...Israel).

So you are left with few to no smart and talented people who, once they get the contacts and have the experience, are willing to work indefinitely in the trenches of being a reporter for a Jewish paper long-term. No Seymour Hershes. Hey, if you are willing to live in your hovel indefinitely, you're the man.

What's interesting is that there is occasionally some good critical journalism about the American Jewish community going on -- by Israelis. In Hebrew, of course, though some of it is now translated into English by Ha'aretz and other places with web sites. The advantage is that they are outsiders and not part of the community so they don't mind being critical. The downside is that they often aren't inside enough to get the stories, or to care deeply about them.

Here's one test I have for if Jewish journalism is any good. If a non-Jew can pick it up and read it with interest. If you are telling a good story, it's a good story, even if it is about Jews.

If few Jews who don't have to pick up a Jewish paper (because of their commitment to Jewish life or their employment therein) do pick up a Jewish paper, then, Jewish journalism, in the immortal words of Benyamin Cohen of Jewsweek, "sucks."

(I know Gentile journalists in Los Angeles, such as Matt Welch and Kevin Roderick, who regularly read the Jewish Journal because they enjoy it.)

To further the cause of good Jewish journalism, I suggest that all those who write on anything remotely Jewish (including bloggers and novelists) be forced to take Khmer Rouge-style Federation bootcamps to sensitize themselves to "use Federation as a resource and seek out its perspective on important stories." Only then can we hope to follow in the footsteps of The Jewish Week.

Writers who fail to become sufficiently sensitive to taking direction from Big Brother Federation, writers who fail to love Big Brother Federation as they should, writers who refuse to take orders from fundraiser organizations and their hacks, should be kept in bootcamps until the correct result is attained.

Those who refuse to act with proper deference to the Federation will be moved to North Korean-style camps until they learn to love Big Brother or die trying.

I tried and failed to get interviews with the following persons: Joseph Aaron, rabbi David Ackerman, rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, Peter Beinart, David Biale, Wolfe Blitzer, Aaron Cohen, Vincent Coppola, rabbi Elliot Dorff, rabbi Hillel Goldberg, Aron Hirt-Manheimer, Jeffrey Goldberg, Eric Greenberg, Lawrence Grossman, Sue Grossman, Yossi Klein Halevi, Aron Hirt-Manheimer, Malcolm Hoenlein, Lisa Hostein, Phil Jacobs, Gershon Jacobson, Mark Joffe, Debbie Kalb, Marvin Kalb, Amy Klein, Neal Kozodoy, Jerome Lippman, Seth Lipsky, Arthur Maguida, rabbi Joel Meyers, David Myers, rabbi Perry Netter, Martin Peretz, Naomi Pfefferman, rabbi Perry Rank, Ira Rifkin, Jay Rosen, Jonathan Rosen, rabbi Jay Rosenbaum, Hershel Shanks, Ira Stoll, Teresa Strasser, rabbi Brian Walt, rabbi Arthur Waskow, Teresa Watanabe, Julie Weiner, Lauren Winner, Leon Wieseltier, rabbi Sheldon Zimmerman, and Nancy Zuckerbrod.

Reform rabbi Sheldon Zimmerman writes 8/5/04: "Dear Mr. Ford: I do not wish to be included in your book. If there is anything negative about me or my family in your book you will hear from my attorney."

Professor David Myers writes: "The subject interests me. But I must say that the fact that you mention in your website those who declined to be interviewed--most likely, for a million and one reasons--prompts me to decline. That strikes me as a bit of a low blow."

Charlotte Schwab writes in her book Sex, Lies, and Rabbis: Breaking a Sacred Trust:

When I was asked to contribute to the article Lilith magazine was preparing about Carlebach's alleged sexual misconduct, I refused, asking why they would not publish articles about living rabbis who have transgressed, who still transgress, rather than writing about a deceased rabbi, about cases which cannot be investigated formally because the accused rabbi is deceased. They chose not to write about living rabbis who are accused of sexual misconduct. I had the same experience with Moment magazine. I was told they would not publish anything "against" rabbis. An assistant editor there told me that a rabbi who was regular contributor to the magazine had effectively "killed" the article I submitted to them which she, and possibly others there, wanted to see them publish. Further, in trying to find a publisher for this book, several large publishing houses told my agent that they "would not 'take on' the rabbinic establishment."

........................

From the Columbia Journalism Review, January/February 2004:

Burg’s piece, a rage-filled lament for an Israeli society “already collapsing like a cheap Jerusalem wedding hall,” first appeared in a major Israeli daily, Yediot Ahronot, and, although shocking, joined the debate that thunders continuously through the Israeli public arena. In the U.S., however, it’s hard to imagine a Jewish newspaper other than the English-language Forward even touching it. Not only is much of the Jewish press in America lamely local — asking little more than the hard-hitting question, Who was bar-mitzvahed this week? — but, for the most part, their editorial line is filtered through one parochial prism: Is it good for the Jews? Bankrolled by local Jewish federations, the community weeklies lack the independence to report critically on the charities and institutions that make up Jewish organizational life. Dissent or even debate over Israeli policy is off limits. Like the American Jewish establishment, these papers swung left-of-center during the Oslo peace process in the 1990s and, for the three years since the start of the current Intifada, have swung right, staunchly defending the policies of Ariel Sharon.

Under two very different editors, as it happens, the Forward, during both periods, has gone counterclockwise.

Of the prominent American Jewish publications, the Forward alone, now in its thirteenth year, is truly independent. As a result, its op-ed page is a rare and influential forum (albeit an elite one, read by no more than 30,000) where the contentious ideological battles of the Jewish world are duked out — pro-peace vs. anti-negotiation, Orthodox vs. Reform, assimilationist vs. isolationist. And with the war on terror turning any critic of Israel into a suspected traitor, it has not recoiled from running pieces like Burg’s that undermine the image of communal unity peddled by the American Jewish establishment.

On its news pages, meanwhile, the Forward covers the Jewish story as a story, seriously and dispassionately.

Goldberg is fifty-four and has edited the paper for the last three years. He is a compact and fidgety man who, with owlish glasses and hair split down the middle, looks like a grown-up Harry Potter. He wants the Forward, journalistically, to “reinvent a language that has been lost for seventy years.” By this, he means finding a way to look at anything, economics or dance, from a uniquely Jewish perspective — but one that, rather than narrowing the world, widens to include as much of it as possible.

A subscription to Hamodia promised a window onto an insular world. Does the Hasidic daily reflect its readers' lives or obscure them?

Dateline Of Reporting On Rabbinic Sex Abuse

Jewish Whistleblower writes March 22, 2005:

Rabbinical leaders have been reported by journalists. These are the more key events in which the reporting and reports became part of the story, in which the effect of the reporting was beyond the mere scope of the stories reported. journalism and rabbinic abuse - "watershed" events

1) 1994 CBC half-hour documentary on Rabbi Ephraim Bryks played nationally in Canada on the #1 evening news program.

- ran twice nationally and twice on local affiliate

- parts were run on the CNN Headline News network

- was nomminated for several and won at least one major journalism award (The New York Festivals' 1994 International TV Programming and Promotion Awards - bronze medal news documentary/special)

- most extensive and expensive journalistic investigation in this area (reprortedly over $25,000 spent producing)

- I believe the first major news expose in this area - spawned the only documented lawsuit in this area between Rabbi and reporters/news organization (both in Canada and the US).

2) 1996 JTA series - by Debra Nussbaum Cohen - first major series in this area by a national Jewish news organization

3) 1999 National coverage in Israel of sexual abuse at the jewel in the crown of the religious Zionist Bnei Akiva yeshivah network and the darling of the parent National Religious Party - evidence of a cover-up at senior levels of the rabbanut - was the "Israeli Lanner" case - a real turning point in this area, similar to Lanner in the US

4) 2000 Baruch Lanner - obvious

5) 2003 Washington Post article on Rabbi Sidney Goldenberg - major article in general media that addresses the wider issue of rabbinic abuse in a way that no general media publication had before

6) 2003 Matis Weinberg - again journalists played a major role - major story broken by college newspaper

7) 2003 - Newsday series (6 articles in total) by Stephanie Saul - 1st series on this issue in the general media

8) 2003 Mordecai Tendler - 1st major story broken on the blogosphere, Steven I. Weiss broke this story (unnamed Rabbi at the time) on his Protocols blog on Makor

9) 2004 Gafni - major story that crossed borders, Jewish denominations and medium - story that was broken by Luke Ford on-line in the blogosphere in a way never done before

Where Can Survivors Of Rabbinic Sex Abuse Turn For Help?

Jewish Whistleblower writes 3/25/05:

Who can victims/survivors go to for help? Rabbi Mordechai Tendler case exposes the sad simple fact that in the post-Lanner era little has changed.This seems to be the key question now again being asked. Where do you go? Who will help you? Who can you trust?I do not have the answers to these questions but let’s look at the organizations and individuals that failed victims/survivors in this situation and review what we’ve previously discussed.

1) OHEL and rabbinical leaders

In early 2003, several of the women who say they were sexually exploited by Rabbi Mordecai Tendler contacted Rabbi Dovid Cohen the Halachic advisor for Ohel for help. He did not help them.Various rabbinical leaders and community leaders were approached over the years. But nothing was done.

2) Agunot advocacy organizations and their leadership

They utterly abandoned and failed victims/survivors. At worst supported and continued to send women to Rabbi Mordechai Tendler, at “best” remained silent.

3) Rabbi Mark Dratch (Jsafe) and the RCA

In December 2003, during the question-and-answer session of a Makor forum on rabbinical abuse, several female health-care professionals in the audience spoke with frustration about Rabbi Mordechai Tendler and made accusations of rabbinical sexual misconduct, which they reported has been going on for years.This led to the current long and protracted RCA investigation that has just in the last 9 days resulted in Rabbi Mordechai Tendler's expulsion from the RCA.

Rabbi Dratch initially put together investigation materials but stepped aside as others in the RCA took over the investigation as there was a feeling that there may be a conflict of interest due to Rabbi Dratch's past involvement in The Awareness Center.

An outside organization Praedium was brought in to investigateVictims/survivors and other witnesses were told that their information would be treated confidentially and NOT handed to Rabbi Mordechai Tendler. They were betrayed.

Although, Rabbi Dratch was certainly not the source of the RCA betrayal, he did make a mistake. He told victims/survivors that his colleagues would treat their information confidentiality, something he should never have done as his colleagues turned out to be far from honorable in this regard. Hopefully, in his Jsafe organization he will choose his colleagues with more caution. It is clear that he has lost some trust among victims/survivors as a result of this. It is also clear that in the future advocates helping victims/survivors will be less inclined to trust or tell victims/survivors to trust the RCA or Jsafe. Both will have to take steps to re-establish their credibility as trustworthy. The question remains today, can a victim/survivor go to the RCA for help? Can they trust that the RCA will act professionally? Can they trust that confidentiality will be respected? These questions remain.

I would note:

a. No counseling services/resources and no legal representation were provided to victims/survivors. Once again raising the question of why such resources are not available to victims of abuse in the general community.

b. During the entire investigation, Rabbi Mordechai Tendler continued to act as a pulpit rabbi and provide counseling to women.I also want to clarify an important point. Rabbi Dratch has been criticized as part of the RCA for this betrayal. I believe Rabbi Dratch is a good and decent man. I believe he truly wants to make a difference. As I have posted in the past, he has a long commitment to this issue and has been a powerful advocate. He clearly understands that there is no simple solution to how to deal with these type of cases or how to advocate:

As far as the postings are concerned, I understand Vicki's point. The allegations are usually true, the information needs to be out there to help protect others and to inspire others to come forward, etc. At the same time, others are totally alienated from her work because they feel that there are no checks and balances and that anyone could possibly find their names and pictures posted (inappropriately) with no recourse, suffering untold damages, etc. I don't know of an appropriate medium. Neither extreme works for me. I know of the difficulties and sometimes long lengths of time it takes to adjudicate and the system often fails. I don't know the answer, really. But I think that there needs to be some kind of review process that takes many factors into account. That will ensure greater credibility in the larger community for the project and will be more ethically sound.

I personally disagree with Rabbi Dratch in this regard. An initial review process in untenable. It is NOT possible to investigate these type of cases and come to conclusions like “guilty/innocent”. That is for the courts or a future Sanhedrin to determine. No other religion is taking such an approach and for good reason. Each and every case is difficult. It may take decades to understand the whole picture. Look how long the Rabbi Mordechai Tendler case has dragged on. That is why I advocate the same approach as other religions. Post all public cases that are documented in any way, shape or form. Put the information in the public's hands.

We are a very “rights of the abuser” focused society. This must change. The rights of the past/current/future victims should be equally focused on. It clearly isn't.

I would only remove cases when the parties involve make a formal request and submit to a full review by professionals directly in the field of sexual abuse who have both the education and experience to fully comprehend and analyze the dynamics involved.

Here is a case I would like to see addressed by Rabbi Dratch/Jsafe:

Anthony Roberts a former teacher at an Orthodox school in England was recently found “not guilty of sexually abusing a 14 year-old student. Mr. Roberts maintains his innocence and will almost certainly be back in education in some Jewish community within a few years.

Should he be back in education? What would/could Jsafe do?

I know of cases in kashrut where shochtim with questionable behavior (unrelated to shita) were told that even though there was not enough evidence for a beis din to find them guilty, the fact that a chashas (suspicion) exists is enough that they are no longer welcome in kashrut. The justification? They should never have put themselves in a position where they could be compromised. As shochtim they must be beyond reproach.Should we not have stronger standards as to who works with our children then we have in kashrut?

4) The Jewish press played an important role in this case. Both Gary Rosenblatt and Rukhl Schaechter (in particular) have written powerful articles.

I would note that although I praise Rosenblatt for stories like Rabbi Lanner, I have been and continue to be critical of the arbitrary standards he applies to sexual abuse stories. If the general media had used similar standards, there would be no Catholic Church scandal. He has refused to do proper investigative reports on numerous cases such as, Rabbi Ephraim Bryks, Rabbi Lewis Brenner (see quote and link below regarding this area). He is too quick to acquiesce to senior RCA members in letting them investigate and deal with such situations quietly (Rabbis Bryks and Tendler). He has also delayed stories for no good reason (Rabbi Mordechai Gafni).

As I've pointed out before, people turn to him for help believing that the reporter that broke the Lanner story will help them. Unfortunately, many victims/survivors find no help. He has simply refused to investigate many stories in this area. Unfortunately, he is the one reporter that everyone is referred to.

"The professional dilemma this poses for me, and this newspaper, which already has a reputation — I believe undeserved — for Orthodox bashing, is whether we are now to become the central communal clearinghouse for dealing with and outing Orthodox Jewish officials with various sexual deviancies. I don’t think that’s our role."

Unfortunately, there are few Jewish press reporters willing to even do stories in this area and the general media has been reluctant to do stories in this area. I was asked to list Jewish reporters who could be approached recently. I could only name the above two. Many reporters after doing stories in this area are so disturbed by the material that they avoid doing further work in this area. Several reporters I have approached have told me exactly that.

5) The Awareness Center was the one organization that showed backbone, the one organization that advocated for these women, the one organization that tried to find resources for them even when it had none of its own, the one organization that did not betray these women, the one organization that was not quiet and the one organization that put its reputation on the line for these wome. If ever there was proof of the need for an advocacy organization like the Awareness center, it is stories like this.

Now if only it had proper resources of its own.

................

Related Links:

Rabbi Saul Berman
Rabbi Yosef Blau
The Awareness Center
Rabbi Mark Dratch
Rabbi Eliezer Eisgrau
Rabbi Mordecai Gafni
Rabbi Steven Jacobs
Jewish Journalism
Rabbi Yaakov Menken
Vicki Polin
Rabbi Aron Tendler
Rabbi Mordecai Tendler
Tendler Family History
Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
Jewish Whistleblower
Rabbi J. Hershy Worch
Yori Yanover

Charlotte Schwab writes in her book Sex, Lies, and Rabbis: Breaking a Sacred Trust:

When I was asked to contribute to the article Lilith magazine was preparing about Carlebach's alleged sexual misconduct, I refused, asking why they would not publish articles about living rabbis who have transgressed, who still transgress, rather than writing about a deceased rabbi, about cases which cannot be investigated formally because the accused rabbi is deceased. They chose not to write about living rabbis who are accused of sexual misconduct. I had the same experience with Moment magazine. I was told they would not publish anything "against" rabbis. An assistant editor there told me that a rabbi who was regular contributor to the magazine had effectively "killed" the article I submitted to them which she, and possibly others there, wanted to see them publish. Further, in trying to find a publisher for this book, several large publishing houses told my agent that they "would not 'take on' the rabbinic establishment."

The Orthodox Union and Rabbinical Council of America

On the morning of January 25, 2002, I placed a telephone call to the Orthodox Union in New York City to see if anything had changed as a result of the Rabbi Baruch Lanner case... I informed the receptionist who answered that this was a long distance call, and that I wanted information about whether the Orthodox Union or Rabbinical Council of America has a policy regarding rabbis' sexual misconduct. The call was given to a man who sounded angry from the minute he answered, and became angrier by the minute. I repeated to him that I was calling to ask if the Orthodox Union or the Rabbinical Council of America has a policy regarding sexual misconduct by their rabbis. He said, "I do not know what that means." Then, he snapped, "Any behavior that is contrary to halacha is not permitted." I asked what that meant. He said, abruptly, angrier, "Any behavior contrary to Jewish law or civil law is not permitted." I asked how a woman who has a complaint would proceed. He said, angrily, curtly, "Send me a letter; I presume your name will beon it," assuming I have a complaint. I asked, "What is your name?" He barked, "Rabbi Steven Dworken." I asked him to spell it. He did, curtly.

I asked, "What will be done with the letter? Is there any written down procedure? Who will be involved? How will you handle it?" He said, tersely, still sounding very angry, "We'll see. This is an internal matter. Shabbat shalom!" He sounded almost as if he were spitting the latter words out. The words, which mean have a peaceful Shabbat, and his tone were in entire contradiction. I could only shudder at what a woman who might call about having been abused by a rabbi would do at such a hostile response, and I could imagine her fear, her tears.

Journalist Yori Yanover (the webmaster of Worch's www.rebhershy.com) writes me 2/13/05:

The string of accusations by grown women against various rabbis, that said rabbis have used their position to manipulate them into having sex with them, marks a sad trend in the politics of sexuality, as well as the politics of Jewish egalitarianism.

There should be legitimate cases in which women may turn to the law against abusive men of authority. Employers are not permitted to demand sexual favors, or even to use sexual language, under penalty of law. And minors are not even permitted the right to concede to sexual advances. Statutory rape is rape is rape.

But when a grown woman depicts a rabbi's religious position as an argument to absolve her of responsibility for having adulterous sex, it infantilizes her, and sets back the cause of women's egalitarian role in religious society. If women are so helpless that an authoritative gaze from a clergyman, or even concerted pressure, even nasty, abusive pressure, can cause them to succumb and have sex with him, we must conclude that it's too soon to permit women to have regular intercourse (no pun intended) in an open and unrestrictive fashion. We must shoo all our women into the house and bind them in chastity belts, because they're childlike and unable to withstand temptation.

A society of victims, unable to accept responsibility for their messes, is an infantilized society, one incapable of fending for itself spiritually and otherwise. We mustn't give in to the temptation of blaming our troubles on others. It is something only children do. Indeed, children and feeble minded people are entitled to be treated as potential victims. Grownups must account for their failures, even in the bedroom.

A Jewish woman writes Luke 12/15/04:

Okay Mr. Luke Ford... Chances are likely that either a) your account will regard this email as spam or b) your own eyes--undoubtedly due to dealing with thousands of incoming furious emails daily--will also regard this as spam and you won't bother reading it in any case. But because of a class on midrash & ethics I'm taking and a section we're doing on lashon hara I just read your shocking expose of Gafni--by whom I admit I was also fooled once upon a time. So then I tried to figure out who you are that you could write all this, and I discovered your website and related links, where I found mentions of your next book about rabbis who molest girls.

So here's my question: What do you get out of all this? I mean, besides fame and money, the obvious answers, I suppose-- But really, do you get some sort of fulfillment from waving around a red flag, pointing a great big finger and saying, "this one's a liar!" "this one's a rapist!" and so on and so forth? You must have some sort of beef against what you consider to be the "establishment", no? I mean I didn't read your other profiles in full, but are there any--is there anyone--you admire? Are there any you praise?

Something must have brought you to Judaism, but now it looks like you're intent on destroying its leaders--and hey, in the Orthodox world, to be quite honest that's pretty much fine with me. And yes, yes, undoubtedly Gafni is a world-class creep and very dangerous to the kind of little girls who were never taught how to take care of themselves, and sure he needs to be exposed, so kol hakavod on that one, I guess. But haven't you noticed something about yourself, that this in particular seems to be your obsession? Especially after your creepy little blog about shaking hands with women, yeesh...I always thought the shomer negiah stuff was beyond idiotic, but I suppose if the majority of men are as ridiculous about these things as you are about that then clearly I need to think twice before I offer to shake hands with another man. But surely not all men are like that, and possibly, you know, the shomer negiah thing and the obsession with molesters is, well, related...and a little...well...taking things further than they need to go? You think? I'm just curious about what you think you're really after here.

I reply:

I get emails like yours all the time. I can't expect most people to know about the economics of book publishing, but there are a thousands things I could do that would make more money (work at McDonalds) or gain more fame (write about other topics etc).

The reason to write this (same reason for my other books) is that it is an important matter that nobody else is doing adequately. It is an important and compelling topic that I can do well and contribute to the world and to the Jewish community. That leaves me with a deep unshakeable sense of leading a meaningful life (that comes from doing what you do well in a way that is a blessing to others).

As for my own psychology, that is between me and my friends and my shrink and my rabbi etc.

As for my general motivation to create and to make laughter, I do what I do the best I can and know that some people will understand and appreciate it. I do not write to gain general approval. I write for the narrow audience that gets my work, and I do not worry about the 90% who do not.

When you have to explain humor, it ceases to be funny. You either get it or you don't. I'm not going to write in crayon with different colors to distinguish satire from straight reportage. You should not read a phone bill the same way you read a love letter. You have to have some literary sensitivity to different forms of writing.

Regarding people and institutions I adore, I've written about them in depth. Regarding lashon hara, Judaism's sacred texts have no problem with holding Jewish leaders accountable for their behavior. "Thou art the man!"

When you expose misdeeds, you get heat from the narrow group of people affected negatively (as well as from people who have a kneejerk response to anything that is hurtful or smacks of gossip), but you rarely hear from the majority of people who are wiser and better informed because of your work (because they have no incentive to thank you because they don't think about who brought them the information, but those affected adversely have every incentive to complain).

Cheers, Luke

PS The deepest things I am after in life I am not likely to disclose to a stranger.

Jewish Whistleblower writes:

Although not addressed to me I will answer this too, as I've been posting about Gafni/Winiarz for close to 10 months and looking into his background for an additional year or so.

>What do you get out of all this?

I get a safer Jewish community, where those who are most vulnerable are not preyed on by degenerates like Gafni and further intimidated from coming forward by people like Gafni's enablers.

And I ask "anonymous Jewish woman" why she is more worried about Luke's ethics than the ethics of all those who've stood silent for decades concerning Gafni/Winiarz and his ilk and those who still enable Gafni and his ilk.

Aron Boruch Tendler (born January 16, 1955) was the senior rabbi of Shaarey Zedek Congregation in North Hollywood, California. He resigned from his position in January 2006 under pressure (from his board and other Orthodox rabbis).

Aron's January 18, 2006 resignation letter had only one typo and was probably composed by two Shaaray Zedek leaders, Jim Kapenstein and Jack Yellin, who are high-powered lawyers at Disney -- the president of the shul and the chairman of the board of directors.

The letter made no mention of the charges of sexual abuse levelled against Aron by many of his former female students (as well as reports of consensual sexual philandering with adults over the past 20 years).

From a post to New Hempstead by a woman (a student of Aron's at YULA) who had a flirtatious and phone sex relationship with Aron over many years while she was an adult: "Several laywers over the years have asked us to go to the Beit Din as recently as last year but the majority of us are not religious and don't believe in this system and think it's a bit hypocritical to turn to the beit din when clearly Aron is not a religious man and neither are we religious."

I fact-checked the following post with a reliable source (a former female student of Aron's):

He has been cheating on his wife for 20 years. This is no loss to the Jewish world. I personally had an inappropriate relationship with him for 14 years. I have a friend who tried to commit suicide [overdosed in 2003] because he molested her at the age of 16 [and had a sexual relationship with her for more than a decade]. And yes, he told us he was molested as a child. We tried for years to get rid of him and no one would listen to us, not even the then president of the shul. He knows it's ALL true and that's why he is resigning. For no other reason.

Aron Tendler served as teacher, Assistant Principal, and Principal at the (girls) Yeshiva University of Los Angeles High School. He was known as hip and cool by many of his students. His classes were more relaxed. If kids wanted to have a few drinks over a Shabbaton, Aron would only advise "Don't get sick."

Aron was replaced as principal of the girls YULA in 1987 after two underage teenage girls made complaints to Dr. Bruce Powell (the principal of secular studies and a non-Orthodox Jew) who became adamant that Aron had to go.

Dr. Powell told a reporter at the Jewish Journal Jan 26, 2006 (in an unpublished statement) that he left YULA before Tendler left and that the information on my website about him, Dr. Powell, was completely untrue.

I stand behind my story that Dr. Powell was adamant that Aron must go. Dr. Powell and Rav Aron were at each other's throats at the time and their dispute was known around YULA and around the Los Angeles Orthodox community (and would be talked about for years afterwards by, among others, YULA students).

Instead of being called "Rav Aron," Tendler got the nickname "Rub Aron" for his behavior (at YULA boys school, at YULA girls school, at Shaaray Zedek, at NCSY, and elsewhere) with females above and below the California age of consent of 18.

Nineteen eighty seven was a tumultuous year at YULA Girls High School because of Aron's procilivities. There was constant and open conflict between him and Dr. Bruce Powell. Aron was frequently absent. Talk about these problems spread throughout the YULA community and beyond and never ceased over the next 18-years (though LA's Orthodox community did next to nothing to keep Aron out of positions of religious leadership).

In 1987, Aron Tendler was brought before a Beit Din (Jewish law court composed of three rabbis) on the charges of two underage YULA girls (both could be said to come from difficult homes but the girls did not have credibility problems except under the extreme duress of the Beit Din) that he sexually molested them. One girl said that he performed oral sex on her. The girls were broken down by the brutal questioning of the Beit Din (which, included, I believe, Aron's uncle Rabbi Shalom Tendler). Shalom Tendler successfully argued that his nephew Aron should be moved to the YULA boys school. Other than that, all Aron needed, according to Shalom, was "to study more Torah."

The two girls were on the fringe of the Orthodox community. They were worried about where they would go to college. They did not want to do battle with the powers that be at YULA. They chose not to press charges (either in Jewish life or in secular criminal court) after they were humiliated at the Beit Din.

One of the YULA girls Aron messed around with attempted suicide in 2005.

Aron taught at YULA boys highschool until about 1995 when he devoted himself to Shaarey Zedek and deeds of loving kindness in the wider community (particularly with troubled women).

Two of Aron's female former students (both of whom had sexual interactions with him, one while underage) estimate Aron had inappropriate relations with about 20 underage girls at YULA (from writing sexual poetry to inappropriate flirting to phone calls to rubbing himself against them repeatedly to groping, one girl he almost had intercourse with before she went to Dr. Bruce Powell, one girl said he gave her oral sex) and that he had forms of consensual sex (from phone sex to more, in much of it he professed an obsession with not spilling his seed as that is prohibited in the Torah) with 30 or more adult women in the past 20 years.

Aron's first two accusers to Dr. Powell had a falling out. One girl, even though she knew better, told Dr. Powell once that the other girl was lying about her fling with Aron.

Rabbi Aron Tendler has told people, including women he was sexually intimate with, that he was sexually molested as a boy by a family member.

"We were at an all-girls school," says a female former YULA highschool student from this time. "Our hormones were going nuts. And Aron Tendler was there. He was flirty. He had two or three buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, walking up and down the hallway. He provoked it. Kids bored in school were flirting with him. I can't say he touched people unwillingly. I think they did it and then afterwards asked, ohmigod, what happened?

"He wasn't someone who was going to force himself him on you. Years later the girls woke up later and said, this was wrong.

"Before he'd have an affair, he'd discuss the halacha [Jewish law] about wasting sperm.

"Whenever it gets down to it, Aron gets afraid and removes himself. I heard he removed himself from the RCC. I'm surprised he isn't resigning from Sharei Tzedek. He has to be crazy to want this all to go public.

"He was very careful in the girls that he picked. He always picked girls who came from troubled homes, so that if we went public, he could say that we're crazy.

"I don't judge anyone, but when you stand on a podium and portray yourself as better than everyone else, and you say that we're crazy, that's the issue I have. He's living a double life. He's been cheating on his wife for 20 years.

"When you're in the Jewish world and you look at Aron Tendler, you might think he's sexy, but when you're in the outside secular world, and you look at him again, it's like night and day.

"Aron told one of the girls that he had had an affair while his wife Esther was pregnant and she had a stillborn baby, and he always felt it was punishment for cheating on her.

"He told me stories about a woman in Beverly Hills and when her husband was away, he would go over to her house and they would just lie in bed naked together. He was all into the halacha against spilling your seed.

"He shouldn't be running a shul. If two adults want to have an affair, then have an affair. It's morally incorrect but not worth tattling about.

"[For several years after highschool], I couldn't be at an event where he didn't approach me. There could be 500 people in the room. He would make it straight to me and ask me if I wanted to go outside and talk. I thought, aren't people wondering what we're talking about? I realized he was telling people I had problems and I needed to talk to him. But really, he was flirting with me.

"When he'd walk away, he'd be standing with some single guy and they'd be looking back at me and laughing. I remember saying to him once, 'Were you talking against me?' I was so naive. I thought, he's not going to talk lashon hara [evil speech]. He's a rabbi. I must be imagining it.

"Then [fellow student and friend] would tell me things he would tell her about me, and he would tell me things about her, so finally I realized he was talking against me. When I'd bring this up to him, he'd say, 'You know I love you.'

"SSS was much more damaged by him than me. She confronted him recently. He said to her, 'I'd talk to you about it but I'm still sick.' He admits it.

"If I was him, I'd say, 'I need help.' Play the victim. Just stop telling people that we're crazy and lying. That just forces people to tell their stories.

"The Shaarey Tzedek board was told two years ago these stories and all they did was blame the women.

"A letter was written to his wife Esther two years ago with everybody's story in it. Esther got it and almost had a heart attack.

"The wife had to know that what was in the letter was true because it was filled with intimate details about their marriage that he had told all of us. Even a girl who stayed in their house and the situation she had with him."

A female former student of Aron's at YULA reports about Aron and one of his YULA students: "They would meet, talk and touch [in a parking lot and elsewhere]. The flirtation went on for two years. The sex was planned for a school outing at Brandeis and when they were alone and she was confronted with it, she ran out. At that point when they came back from the trip, she went to Bruce Powell."

The stories about Aron's behavior have gone on for years. Every major Orthodox rabbi knows about the complaints against Rabbi Aron Tendler, including Rabbi Bess, Rabbi Nahum Sauer, Rabbi Fassman, Rabbi Avraham Union (though I do not believe that anyone did more to protect Aron's positions of religious leadership than did his uncle Shalom Tendler, who said Aron just needed "to learn more Torah" to overcome his molestation inclinations).

No civil lawsuit has been filed against Aron Tendler in this matter (due to its nature, the women who say that Rabbi Aron Tendler molested them don't want to go public as most of them have familes of their own, and communities tend to rally around their leaders and stigmatize those who accuse the leaders of sexual misconduct).

Aron is popular with his peers who are loathe to discipline him. Aron is a "nice guy." He's "humble."

From a Tendler perspective, one could view Rabbi Aron's behavior as bagging trophies of the virgins under his care. He did it out of love. He initiated them and prepared them for a mature relationship with their later husbands.

A Tendler could argue that these girls had emotional problems, and Rabbi Tendler was curing them through bodywork and helping them appreciate the physical dimension of life. This is what God intended in creating the world.

Aron's rabbi-brother Mordecai is also being investigated by the RCA for sexual misconduct.

A male graduate of YULA Boys High School who knew the two girls who brought the initial charges against Aron (he is no longer Orthodox) says: "The good girls who bought the company line and stayed mainstream Orthodox, they don't want to touch this. They want to get on with their Orthodox lives. When hey were 20 or so, they were set up on shidduchim (dates) with Orthodox men. They married Orthodox men and made Orthodox lives. They have children going to Orthodox day schools. They belong to Orthodox synagogues. They don't want to hear anything about the girls who were outside the fringes. They respect people in positions of [power in Orthodoxy]. They don't know anything about the fringe and they don't want to believe that that stuff happened.

"A couple of guys friends and I were friends with these two girls. We knew what was breaking out. We tried to find out more. We talked to our friends. The girls were traumatized. One girl went in there and said, 'How dare you preach morality when you have a rabbi who's making advances at me?'

"That sent Dr. Powell off. He said, 'What the hell are you talking about? You better be serious about this.' That started an investigation which culminated in the Beit Din. He got a slap on the wrist and moved to the boys school. A few years later, he gets hired [as Shaarey Zedek's rabbi] and he's teaching all these courses to women and counseling women.

"In those days [1987], if you were a girl who admitted to sexual activity, you would have a credibility problem [with the Orthodox community]. You were a bad girl. So the girls who brought charges against Aron were regarded as bad girls [by the YULA establishment].

"These girls weren't bad girls. They were exploring life and questioning. They weren't saying this about any other teacher or any other person in authority in their lives.

"Aron would hone in on the girls who were attractive and problematic and have his jollies.

"The stories about Aron were consistent, that he would cross lines.

"I remember one of my friends showing me the poem that he wrote [to a girl]. It was inappropriate.

"Aron is a smooth talker. He's an intelligent man. He's studied philosophy and psychology. Even if you caught him at certain things, he'd say, 'Well, Kant and Freud say it's important to share your meaningful experiences with the youth so that they can identify and appreciate it and grow.' He has an answer for everything.

"Aron crossed lines with girls I knew. Though inappropriate, his actions regarding the girls who came forward at that time could be, and were, covered up and explained away. For example, who can prove the insinuation of poems? And who can prove whether a touch was intimate or not? I believe that the problem with the situation with the girls who came forward was that in their case there was not enough solid evidence (nor enough sexual activity) to make their charges hold up."

1/14/06

Beth Jacob Honors Predator-Rabbi Aron Tendler

Aron Tendler was seated on the bima (elevated pulpit-like area in front of the shul) at Beth Jacob Saturday morning. Rabbi Steven Weil (who's kicked more than 50 people out of his shul since taking over about six years ago to create, he says, a safe haven for his members) said a few laudatory sentences about Aron Tendler. It's an annual thing for Rabbi Aron Tendler to come to Beth Jacob (and perhaps say a few words in honor of his grandfather Rabbi Moshe Feinstein).

....

Rabbi Aron Tendler delivered a lecture at YOLA entitled, "When was the last time you really said I love you?" It's available on 613.org: "The topic itself is one of my favorite topics. I always wonder when was the last time I really said I love you to my own wife."

He also gave a Purim class at YOLA entitled: "In Search of Adam's Clothes."

Rabbi Aron Tendler reminds me of Humbert Humbert, the protagonist of Vladimir Nabokov's novel Lolita. In one scene, Humbert sees Lolita:

sitting in a study hall with a sepia print of Reynolds' 'The Age of Innocence' above the chalkboard, and several rows of clumsy-looking pupil desks. At one of these, my Lolita was reading … and there was another girl with a very naked, porcelain-white neck and wonderful platinum hair, who sat in front reading too, absolutely lost to the world and interminably winding a soft curl around one finger, and I sat beside Dolly [Lolita] just behind that neck and that hair, and unbuttoned my overcoat and for sixty-five cents plus the permission to participate in the school play, had Dolly put her inky, chalky, red-knuckled hand under the desk. Oh, stupid and reckless of me, no doubt, but after the torture I had been subjected to, I simply had to take advantage of a combination that I knew would never occur again.

Rabbi Aron Tendler is famous for speaking out against domestic abuse (like many predators, he loves to portray himself as the protector of women and children):

Bringing Jewish domestic violence out of the closet
Fine, Arlene. The Cleveland Jewish News. Cleveland: Feb 6, 1998.Vol.68, Iss. 20; pg. 32

"The safest place for a woman should be in the arms of her husband," says Rabbi Aaron Tendler of Shaarey Zadek Congregation in North Hollywood, Calif. "If she doesn't feel that way, she must immediately get out of the relationship and seek help. If there is no kindness between a woman and her spouse, the sadness can be overwhelming. No one deserves that."

Rabbi Tendler's comments on domestic abuse and those of several other leading rabbis, plus poignant testimonies from formerly abused Jewish women, are brought into sharp focus in the recently released videotape on domestic violence, "To Save A Life: Ending Domestic Violence in Jewish Families."

The worst advice a rabbi or professional can give a woman in an abusive relationship is to simply return to her husband and forgive and forget, says Rabbi Tendler.

"Certain sins just can't be forgiven. When a woman is being abused, no one should tell her to go home, cook a nice supper and then things will get better. Things do not work that way. Without professional help, there is no way an abusive relationship can suddenly turn into a loving one."

...........

Area rabbis learn about domestic abuse:
Multi-denominational workshop spurs dialogue on a difficult topic.
Rzepka, Susan. The Cleveland Jewish News. Cleveland: Oct 30, 1998.Vol.70, Iss. 6; pg. 18

Last week, a group of rabbis from all denominations gathered at Green Road Synagogue to broaden their knowledge and raise their collective awareness of domestic violence. They listened intently to the remarks of Rabbi Aron Tendler, spiritual leader of Congregation Shaarey Zedek in Los Angeles, who has become an expert in the field, and to Marcia Burnam, a survivor of domestic abuse. But many questions remain.

Many Jewish women feel reluctant to come to their rabbis with the problem of domestic abuse, admits Rabbi Tendler. They assume that rabbis, who are usually men, will automatically side with their husbands. They fear rabbis will disapprove of them ending their abusive marriage through separation or divorce.

Women feel the burden of responsibility for shalom bayit, or household harmony, and see the admission of disharmony at home as a public shonda, or shame. The woman's abuser may be an outwardly charming, successful and religious man, and she fears that the community, let alone her rabbi, will not believe or support her.

This, says Rabbi Tendler, is the challenge facing rabbis: To let our congregants and communities know that our doors are open; that we can and will provide "a compassionate and empathetic ear who will listen and say, `I believe you,' when a woman seeks counsel."

"The greater the awareness, the greater the healing," says Rabbi Tendler. The most important thing a rabbi can do for a battered woman, say both speakers, is to listen, confirm, and edge her slowly toward getting the help she needs. Give her the hotline number (216-691-SAFE, for Project Chai, JFSA), a local provider of services for domestic-violence victims, and encourage her to call.

From the Jewish Journal January 30, 1998:

"When I counsel couples, I tell the woman, infront of her intended husband, that if he ever raises a hand to her, she should pick herself up and leave until the problem is resolved," Tendler said. "And if a woman is unsafe, it is incumbent upon every rabbi to pull out all the stops, including saying from the bimah that a man is not welcome in the community, because he abuses his wife."

From the Jewish Journal April 3, 1998:

The close-knit North Hollywood community offers many advantages to Jewish residents

Rabbi Aron Tendler, associate rabbi for Shaarey Zedek, said the primary reason for rebuilding the shul is that thesynagogue can hardly keep up with requests for new classes. Inaddition to his job as an assistant principal at Yeshiva UniversityHigh Schools of Los Angeles, Tendler gives about five community lectures a week.

"There's no question we're benefiting now from the'settled' ba'alei teshuvah movement, those who have [become Orthodox]and are now looking for a community for their kids," he said.

Tendler characterizes Shaarey Zedek's congregation as "eclectic": "Here you'll see black hats, knitted kippot, the newlyobservant and the converted all sitting together. We have a real emphasis on maintaining open lines; we're not into judging people."

From the Jewish Journal March 28, 2003:

Rabbi Mattis Weinberg, who founded Yeshivat Kerem in Santa Clara in the mid-1970s, counts as some of his strongest supporters — and detractors — former Kerem students and faculty members who now live in Los Angeles.

Kerem, which existed for seven years, employed some well-known rabbis in Los Angeles, including Rabbi Shalom Tendler, now rosh yeshiva at YULA; Rabbi Aron Tendler of Shaarei Tzedek Congregation; Rabbi Daniel Lapin, formerly of the Pacific Jewish Center in Venice; and Rabbi Eliezer Eidlitz, now director of development at Emek Hebrew Academy.

From the website of his shul Shaarey Zedek:

Rabbi Aron Tendler has been teaching high school since 1976. His first position was in Phoenix AZ. as Dorm Supervisor for Ohr Hamidbar. From 1977 to 1980 Rabbi Tendler taught in Kerem Yeshiva, Santa Clara, California. He moved to Los Angeles in 1980 and has been a teacher, Assistant Principal, and Principal at Yeshiva University High School of Los Angeles. This past June, Rabbi Tendler retied from YULA to assume the position of Senior Rabbi at Shaarey Zedek Congregation.

This past December, Rabbi Tendler was awarded the coveted Miliken Foundation's Distinguished Educators Award.

In 1985, Rabbi Tendler became the Associate Rabbi at Shaarey Zedek Congregation in North Hollywood, California, the oldest and largest Orthodox congregation In the San Fernando Valley.

In 1996, Rabbi Tendler's position was advanced to Rabbi of Shaarey Zedek, and this past July he became the Senior Rabbi.

For the past nine years, Rabbi Tendler has been the Chairman of the Yeshiva Principals Council.

For the past six years, he has been a member of the Executive Board of the Rabbinical Council of California and currently holds the position of Chairman of the Vaad Hakashrus of the RCC.

Rabbi Tendler is author of the very popular Rabbi's Notebook and Parsha Summary, a weekly essay and review of the Parsha that is posted on the Project Genesis website. More than 11,000 subscribers receive his weekly presentations via e-mail.

Rabbi Tendler was featured in eight segments of Mysteries of the BibIe, a program that is produced by Roos Films and aired on the A&E cable station.

More recently, Rabbi Tendler has received national recognition as a champion and voice combating domestic violence. He is a member of the Jewish Family Services Domestic Violence Task Force. The nationally distributed video, "To Save A Life" produced by the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence features Rabbi Tendler's passionate and encouraging views.

Rabbi Tendler was married to Esther Shapiro in 1976, and has raised their five children here in Valley Village.

Education

1976 - Smicha - Rabbi Moshe Feinstein
1976 - BS Political Science, Johns Hopkins University
1976 - BA Talmudic Law - Ner Israel Rabbinical College
1986 - MA Guidance and Counseling - Loyola

Such Shaaray Zedek leaders as four-year president Irving Steinberg (2001-2005) as well as (Vice-President for Facilities) Robert Schacht and his wife Joni (nee Hofstedter) Schacht have been aware of the specific and credible allegations against Rabbi Aron Tendler for at least two years. A letter detailing Aron's philandering was sent to his wife Esther near the beginning of 2004. Rav Aron called Joni Hofstedder and asked her to tell his wife Esther that the accusers were crazy. Joni agreed and did that (even though at least one of the accusers was a longtime friend, and Joni's actions ended that friendship).

No fan of Aron, Joni later explained she wanted to protect the shiduchim (marriage) possibilies of Aron's children.

A Former Female YULA Student Of Aron Tendler's Faxes His Shul Shaaray Zedek 1/24/06:

Please tell Esther [Aron's wife] that perhaps she should finally apologize for all the horrific things she has been saying about the victims of Aron all these years. And she knows who we are speaking of.

Esther,

Just so you know, Joni Schacht has been aware that your husband has been cheating on you for 20 years and never said a word to you. She is some friend to you.

This has already made it to the internet but in case you haven't heard, Esther, your husband contacted Joni after you received the letter from his victims and asked Joni to lie and tell you that a certain someone wrote the letter who "didn't" write the letter and to say that this person is nuts. She then went to this victim's home uninvited to admit to what she has done and said she lied to you in order to protect your children.

This victim that your husband claims is nuts, had phone sex with Aron many times while he was at shul. And was propositioned by him for over 10 years to have sex.

Phone messages have been saved that can validate this.

Do you have any idea what he was doing to your 16 year-old house guest in the 1980's when you were sleeping at night? Maybe you should ask your husband.

I think it's YOUR husband that is nuts. NOT the victims.

Lashon Harah! I guess something you didn't learn Esther when you decided to put on a tichel and pretend to be religious…just like your husband.

We hope Aron leaves earlier than the yom tovim. To have to listen to a child molester speak every Shabbos will be a bit nauseating.

I first published about the allegations of Aron Tendler molesting underage girls in late 2004. If I hadn't done that, I believe he would've continued in his position of religious leadership with the acquiescence of Los Angeles's Orthodox leadership (who, while they had no direct power over Shaaray Zedek and Aron Tendler, could've made an effort to remove him and shun him but chose to do next to nothing).

The most powerful group of Los Angeles Orthodox rabbis is the Rabbinical Council of California.

On this page, Rabbi Aron Tendler is listed as the chairman of the Kashrut Committee of the RCC.

The RCC's administrator is Rabbi Avraham Union.

Rob Eshman writes in the Jewish Journal February 14, 1997:

During Passover 1992, Union, the Rabbinic administrator of the Orthodox Rabbinical Council of California, telefaxed some colleagues a letter circulated by Toronto rabbis criticizing the KLC. In his fax, Union suggested the RCC send the letter out to all Southern California rabbis. When Union arrived at the RCC offices at 1230 S. Bedford the following day, he found a severed sheep's head at his doorstep. Several young men appeared at his home that evening and asked, in Hebrew, "Did you get our message?"

Union said that he was certain the men were from the center. He filed a police report, and detectives visited the KLC. They found no evidence of wrongdoing. Union interpreted the incident as a threat to his life. "Of course, [Rabbi Philip] Berg didn't put it there," he said. "There's no proof anybody from the Kabbalah Center put it there. But we never sent out the letter."

LA's Orthodox rabbinate tends to have little moral backbone, be it fighting cults or getting sexual predators out of the pulpit.

It's time to develop the definitive list of those people who enabled Rabbi Aron Tendler to keep access to vulnerable women for more than two decades. And let's also draw up a list of those who tried to do something about it. The first name on that last list is Dr. Bruce Powell, who got Rabbi Tendler fired about 15-years ago from his position as principal of the YULA (Yeshiva University Los Angeles) girls highschool.

Listing Those Who Honor Predator-Rabbi Aron Tendler

Yaakov Menken's Torah.org publishes his Torah essays.

613.org plays his lectures.

The Orthodox Union (a group of Modern Orthodox synagogues throughout North America) had Aron Tendler as a speaker on February 27, 28, 2004. The topic? "Strengthening the Jewish Family"

And what was the title of Aron Tendler's talk? "Ethics in Marriage: How it Enhances Your Marriage"

The OU writes: "Rabbi Aron Tendler...is a recognized champion against domestic violence. He is a member of the Jewish Family Services Domestic Violence Task Force."

Aron Tendler is listed as a faculty member of Netivot: "Netivot, Hebrew for Paths, is an independent center of Torah dedicated to enhancing women's intellectual and spiritual growth through intensive textual study in an inclusive and nurturing atmosphere."

What could be more enhancing to a woman's intellectual and spiritual growth than a good grope from a holy rabbi?

Aron Tendler endorses: "Oorah, which means "Awaken," was founded in 1980 with the goal of awakening Jewish children and their families to their heritage."

After the murder of Yaakov Aminov, 46, on July 4, 2002 at LAX, Aron appeared all over the news media as the dead man's rabbi: "How can it be," said Rabbi Aron Tendler, "that this righteous man was taken, that a mother of five sits alone, that he will no longer make kiddush on Friday night?"

2/6/06

A former YULA (Yeshiva University of Los Angeles) high school student writes:

Mr. Ford, Your information is consistent with the information I received while attending YULA. I was a senior in High School when the information regarding his behavior towards underage female students first came to light. Two of my friends were affected by Aron's actions. Your depictions are perfect with respect to his behavior, his modus operandi, and the women who he molested. At the time, they were quasi-willing participants. I use the term "quasi-willing" because adolescence, hormones, desires, and rational decisions don't quite walk hand-in-hand. The women who he molested possessed attractiveness and were not mainstream. Often, they were experiencing trouble at home and struggling with organized religion. Often, these struggles led them to experiment with behavior that was considered rebellious in the eyes of the orthodox Jew. Thus, the stage was set: An attractive woman whose credibility is labeled 'suspect' based on her innate struggles between her desires to explore and discover things that are natural for adolescents to explore (marijuana, sexual activity, non-mainstream thought and actions) and the doctrine of Orthodox Judaism being spoon-fed to her daily. A young attractive teacher/rabbi/psychologist/youth leader(he held all of these positions) approaches them with compassion and answers based upon Religion, Philosophy, Sociology and Psychology. He gains their trust, manipulates and fosters their desires, and engages in a sexually taboo experience.

If caught, Aron would use the student's status of outcast against her. He would pit his reputation as rabbi against their reputation of outcast. In other words, the very reason they sought his counsel (their manifest troubles) were used to discredit the veracity of the experience. In other words, he's not dumb, he's just sick, and twisted.

I heard the stories as they happened. I heard the girls cry. I read the poems he wrote, laden with sexual undertones. Their experiences were forwarded to the administration at YULA. The girls were angry and felt exploited. The administration pressured them with the consequences of what would happen to them if they went public. They were told that they could lose their acceptance into college, and were reminded of the shame that this would bring to their families. In the face of public humiliation and for fear for their academic and professional futures being taken from them, the young women acquiesced, and withdrew their accusations. That was highly irresponsible of the administration. Their intimidation enabled his behavior. Aron was relegated to teach strictly at the boys’ school. Nothing meaningful was done. Aron was told he has to learn more Torah, and it would all magically go away. It wasn't long before other stories began to surface of Aron’s sexual advances and machinations. Lo and behold, Aron became the head of a congregation and, I am told, was particularly adept at assisting women in troubled marriages.

Aron does not deserve to be called a Rabbi; He is a sick predator, preying on the trust and insecurities of women. The basis for these acts are of little significance. If he was molested as a child, then let him seek therapy through conventional channels, as opposed to infecting innocent and trusting people with his illness. I am told that the Orthodox community has been made aware of his actions on many occasions, and has failed to act upon it. It is comforting that Dr. Powell, the one non-orthodox Jew in the administration at YULA at the time, has the decency to leave and distance himself from the cess-pool of orthodox politics which included the pacifying of a molester.

Aron is resigning, but not until the High Holidays. I am certain that this is a tactical maneuver to buy him more time to save his job. He should leave immediately. He should be banned from the rabbanut. He should write personal letters of apology to each of the families he has harmed. He should do Kapparah in the form of true atonement to the women whose faith he has shaken and whose psychology he has permanently damaged. And, he should issue a public statement of Kapparah to the community. Aron is resigning, and expects a pat on the back for "stepping down." Aron seems to have a lot of options for someone who sexually preys on the fragility of his students and congregants. Having been placed on “Notice” of Aron’s behavior, the congregation allowed him to stay on for an additional eight months. Let’s see, 30 incidents in about 18 years. That averages out to one every 7.2 months. That congregation’s Board better pray REALLY hard that his lawless intimate familiarities don’t follow the law of averages, or they may find themselves becoming intimately more familiar with a law suit. I guess after all this time the sage approach remains ignoring reality and just learning torah. Worked for Aron, didn’t it?

If G-d’s sense of justice is as poetic as Aron, Aron will be faced with the same credibility problems that his victims faced years ago, as he seeks to utilize his charlatan services elsewhere. He has caused more people than he knows to turn away from Judaism. Aron is a blight on the spirituality of Judaism, whose actions were never dealt with properly. Though quite charming and, to be sure, quite a glib speaker, it is difficult to imagine how the rabbinic community has done nothing to inhibit his actions, aside of course from having him learn more Torah. Though hardly a scholar, it would seem to me that he still seems to be having trouble with commandments 6-10.

The Orthodox entities that were aware of his actions and did nothing to correct it should be ashamed of themselves. Standing idly by while knowing that a diseased person is in the position of power to carry out his manipulations and crimes against innocent minors and women, is itself criminal. Perhaps one day they will value Jewish wives and daughters as much as they value whatever it is Aron represents.

I don't care who his grandfather was. My ancestry goes back to a different Aron--the high Priest. Please inform me if this entitles me to carry out unconscionable acts against my fellow human beings. They must have skipped that chapter in school. "Thou CAN commit adultery and molestation if thy ancestry is impressive."

Please help me understand why the Orthodox Jewish community has continued to pay this molester 100s of thousands of dollars a year to spread his sickness? As Churches and Priests are charged and paying dearly for their horrific molestations and acquiescence, I wonder if this is what my rabbis had in mind when preaching Or L'Goyim---be a light onto the nations. You need not be an Orthodox Jew to recognize the illegal and depraved behavior of Aron. But, apparently you need to be an Orthodox Jew to condone it. Aron Tendler and his supporters make me proud to not consider myself an Orthodox Jew. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. Unlike Aron, I am ashamed I haven't done more earlier.

....

The granddaughters of rabbi Moshe Feinstein appeared in Penthouse circa 1983. Their mother is the sister of Mordechai and Aron's mom. They posed after their father died.

2/26/06

Orthodox tourists claim police prejudice

From The Jerusalem Post:

A group of Orthodox Jews visiting Israel from Los Angeles said Israeli police discriminated against them on religious grounds by preventing them from entering the Temple Mount Sunday.

But police said the group failed to produce identification and were, therefore, not authorized to enter the Temple Mount area until they produced it.

A group of eight, all congregants of the Sha'arey Zedek Synagogue, San Fernando Valley's largest orthodox synagogue, who were in Israel for a Bar Mitzva, blamed the police for discrimination.

"About 30 seconds after we were detained a group of about 50 non-Jews were allowed to enter without ID," said Rabbi Aron Tendler, the rabbi of the synagogue.

Tendler, grandson of the famous halachic authority Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, said that he and his congregants did not bring ID or other valuables with them because they had been at the mikveh [ritual bath] and were afraid that while they were immersing themselves their valuables would be left unguarded.

Tendler Resigns Under Cloud

Amy Klein, Religion Editor, writes March 7, 2006

Rabbi Aron Tendler has stepped down six months early from the pulpit of Shaarey Zedek, an Orthodox synagogue in Valley Village, because “it was no longer appropriate for Rabbi Tendler to continue,” shul officials said.

Tendler, 51, first announced his resignation in a January letter to congregants. At the time, he said he planned to remain leader of the synagogue until the High Holidays in September. But in a March 6 letter to congregants, shul president Jim Kapenstein and board chair Yacov Yellin wrote that Tendler would be stepping down immediately in light of “new matters which had recently been brought to our attention.”

The letter offers no specifics and shul officials declined to elaborate.

Separately, The Journal has learned that Tendler was once accused of inappropriate conduct at the Yeshiva of Los Angeles (YULA), an Orthodox high school in Pico-Roberston where he had worked from 1980 through June 1999, first as a teacher and then also as a principal. The 1987 investigation was inconclusive, but Tendler transferred from the girls school to the boys school, which is located on a separate campus.

Allegations against Rabbi Tendler surfaced on Jewish blogs — web logs — more than a year ago, citing anonymous sources who alleged the rabbi had behaved inappropriately toward women and girls. These rumors were alluded to briefly in articles published in two East Coast newspapers about problems facing the rabbi’s brother, Mordechai Tendler, who is currently defending himself against accusations of sexual misconduct.

Tendler is regarded as a charismatic leader and an inspiring teacher and speaker — someone who could turn around troubled youths, leading them to more religious, more successful lives. In 1999, he received an educator’s award from the Milken Family Foundation.

“We intend to uphold appropriate conduct not only in sexual abuse but other types of conduct,” said Rabbi Avrohom Union, the rabbinic administrator of the Rabbinical Council of California (RCC).

Full disclosure by Luke Ford:

I had dealings (the RCC has the most prestigious conversion program in town -- converts through the Beth Jacob program have had trouble having their conversions recognized overseas -- I entered it and was rejected as soon as they realized who I was) with Rabbi Avrohom Union five years ago, which ended in my ejection. It was reported back to me at the time by a friend that Rabbi Union told him I was the most evil person he'd ever met.

As many rabbis regard me as the most evil person they have ever met, I don't believe that any of this has affected my coverage of Rabbi Aron Tendler or Rabbi Union or the RCC (though I understand many people would disagree).

I've had no dealings with the other rabbis I've mentioned in this article (aside from attending their lectures a few times).

I was ejected from three Pico-Robertson Orthodox synagogues in 2001 (Young Israel of Century City, Beth Jacob and Chabad's Bais Bazalel, in that order) (related article on my Young Israel expulsion) and one in 1998. Many in the Orthodox community (and elsewhere) say that my writing on rabbi-predators is motivated by my hatred for rabbis.

Articles on rabbi Gafni, born Marc Winiarz (he adopted the spelling of his last name to Wyniarz when he moved to Florida circa 1985). Cover of Maariv October 15, 2004

The first story about Gafni/Winiarz/Wyniarz's sexual escapades with a minor was broken by Gary Rosenblatt in the September 24, 2004 issue of The Jewish Week. Many of the Gafni critics Gary spoke to felt let down by his article. They say Gary either doesn't get it or he went easy on Gafni to make Gary's own life easier. By focusing on sexual incidents that happened 20 years ago instead of Gafni's ongoing creepy behavior, Rosenblatt delegitimized his own article, not to mention the concern that Gafni is dangerous to people today.

The Orthodox world's perspective, in general, on Winiarz/Gafni and others who have left Orthodoxy under the cloud of scandal -- let them do what they like with the non-Orthodox.

Gafni's critics, Orthodox and non-Orthodox, say: When you have somebody who is presenting Judaism to the world, to people to whom Judaism is new, his credibility is an issue. He has voluntarily put himself in a position of religious leadership. He goes on TV and he tells the world he is a rabbi. He invites scrutiny. If you are not interested in that scrutiny, don't go on TV and don't use the title rabbi. You can't put yourself out there as a religious leader and screw around (sexually, financially, ethically) at the same time. For Gafni's strongest critics, the main issue is not that he is a sexual sinner, but that he is a creep.

Here is my personal experience with rabbi Gafni: I heard him lecture (Gafni's a friend of UCLA Hillel rabbi Chaim Seidler-Feller) for an hour at UCLA during Passover week 2002. I considered what Gafni had to say worthless. I read a long section of his book Soul Prints. I considered it worthless. Just New Age nonsense.

Gafni struck me as a charlatan.

I saw him hustle Dennis Prager to get a half hour on Prager's radio show the next week. I listened to the show. Neither Prager nor I could figure out what Gafni was talking about.

I have an ex-girlfriend who was deeply moved by Gafni's book -- Soul Prints. She said it was the best book she'd ever read on Judaism.

Rabbi Gafni's greatness as a religious teacher, such as it is, is not in coming up with original material, but in taking other people's ideas and restating them more clearly than the original thinkers. He's an excellent mimic and actor.

This is not a bad quality so long as one attributes one's sources. Dennis Prager is a popularizer of other people's ideas, but he attributes his sources. Rabbi Gafni frequently takes without attributing (as does Dr. Laura Schlesinger, who takes a lot from Prager without attribution). Many of Gafni's Renewal followers think he's a genius. He probably knows more Torah than 99% of Renewal Jews.

Winiarz's been to yeshiva. He's well read. He knows how to speak. He's charismatic. They're dying for a guy like him.

Rabbi Gafni, and rabbi Arthur Green and his other supporters, are convinced that there is a small group of people who are destroying Winiarz's career. They are right. There is a small group of people destroying his career (well, he's destroyed his own career with his creepy behavior). They pushed Gary Rosenblatt to write that expose in The Jewish Week.

They are also the group of people who have known rabbi Gafni best and longest.

If Rabbi Gafni has truly done teshuva, why hasn't he contacted the long list of innocent people he hurt and made restitution?

Gary Rosenblatt writes: "Avraham Infeld, now the president of Hillel, was heading an educational program in Israel called Melitz when he hired Gafni in the late 1990s, despite pressure not to do so. Infeld has said he had no regrets. Rabbis Saul Berman, who heads the Modern Orthodox group Edah, and Joseph Telushkin, the writer and ethicist, also defended Gafni, asserting that he is a gifted teacher and that they have heard no credible reports against him of improper behavior in the past 15 years or so."

On October 21, 2004, I left messages with rabbis Berman and Telushkin on their home phone numbers to talk about their defense of Gafni and their attacks on The Awareness Center. They've yet to return my call.

Rabbi Gafni has gone through more reinventions (not to mention name changes, marriages and relationships) than most rabbis I know.

When he was young (mid '70s), he saw himself as the next rabbi Shlomo Riskin. He was delivering rabbi Riskin's talks, word-for-word, better than rabbi Riskin. Rabbi Riskin didn't mind this. On the contrary, he was flattered to have a protege. Rabbi Riskin speaks personally, as if he is giving you some secret (with the way he uses his delivery and moves around the room). Mordechai imitated him exactly.

Winiarz wore a suit. His hair was short. He wore a white shirt. He looked like a respectable Orthodox rabbi.

Then Winiarz graduated from Riskin and decided he was going to be the second coming of Rav Yosef Soloveitchik. He claimed to be the Rav's disciple. It's probably another of Winiarz's exaggerated claims. Perhaps Winiarz heard a lecture or two of the Rav's in person.

The Rav was completely out of R. Gafni's range, but Gafni used his terms.

This didn't last long. Next (around 1980) R. Gafni wanted to become the next Shlomo Carlebach (including Carlebach's creepy history of sexual abuse, including of underage girls).

In The Jewish Week article, R. Gafni admitted to committing statutory rape. He said, "She was 14 going on 35, and I never forced her."

He's been married three times. He was also engaged to a woman he never married. He walked out on his first wife when she was several months pregnant.

Gafni has a daughter from his first marriage, who has been raised by his father. When she became an adult, she went on a quest to find her father. They met.

Gafni's third marriage seems to be one of convenience. His current wife Cary Chaya Kaplan (13 years younger than he, an Oxford graduate student who made an early decision to never have kids, may have had a large influence on Gafni's move away from Orthodoxy, they married circa 1998) lives in San Francisco while Winiarz lived in Israel until 2005, when he moved to California.

Cary Kaplan-Gafni (St Catherine's) is doing a PhD at Oxford's Jewish Studies department on the interpretation of Biblical figures in contemporary Jewish movements of renewal. Her supervisor is the same as Gafni's -- Dr. Norman Solomon.

Winiarz ran an organization called JPSY (Jewish Public School Youth) circa 1983-1986. It was funded by such major Jewish philanthropists as Michael Steinhardt and Mark Belzberg (who seemed impressed by Winiarz).

(Mark Belzberg made a connection between Winiarz and Milah and Yural Rabin, Yitzhak's son and Israeli businessman (CEO of one of Mark's companies) and social activist (let's-all-get-along).)

Winiarz was hired by Ellen Lieberman (who is now married to South African rabbi Ian Azizolohof). When Ellen left on maternity leave, Gafni took the organization from her. He seduced the board. She came back from leave to find she was out of a job.

Rabbi Gafni is insatiable for power and his predatory sexuality is just a part of his power thing. Some of his supporters, such as Mark Belzberg (from the wealthy Canadian family) have said, "Yeah, Mordechai has a yetzer hora."

Once in control of JPSY, Mordechai Gafni self-destructed. On his second marriage, he got caught molesting a 16-year old girl (called Judy in Rosenblatt's article). I understand that a similar problem broke up his first marriage.

When Mordechai was in high school, he was accused of various crimes and misdemeanors and illicit use of credit cards.

It's the people who know him longest and best who are most scared of what he can do. People he went to high school with. Today they are high profile Orthodox educators. They have made sure he can't get jobs in the Orthodox community, which is probably why he drifted out of Orthodoxy in the past four years and into Renewal, a place with loose enough standards to take someone with his history.

After he sexually abused this 16 yo Judy girl in JPSY a couple of times (and after that she turned him down), he hounded her for about a year. He went on a preemptive strike against her. He tried to destroy her life. He spread rumors that she was crazy. That she had a crush on him. That she was trying to destroy him.

Judy told her story to rabbi Shlomo Riskin. He chose to believe rabbi Gafni instead and discounted her story. R. Riskin told her to stop bothering the good rabbi Gafni.

Judy told one of her counselors in JPSY, Susan. She confronted R. Gafni. He tried to seduce her. She was appalled and rejected him.

A Beit Din was convenened in New York. Winiarz was told to quit his job and move from New York to some unsuspecting community and make a new life (that was how these things were handled until recently).

Around 1984, R. Gafni had problems with the IRS.

R. Gafni moved to Boca Raton around 1985. He did a great job in outreach. He was charismatic. He touched people deeply with Torah and other things. He built up the community (Boca Raton synagogue) that rabbi Kenneth Brander is leaving for YU. R. Brander inherited the community from Mordechai in 1987.

R. Gafni left the Boca Raton community suddenly. There were rumors that he'd had an affair with a married woman. There were a string of sexual allegations against him. He had to pick up in the middle of the night and move to Israel (and then took on the name Mordechai Gafni).

Before the scandal broke, he was considering moving back to New York to run for Congress going into politics. The guy is obsessed with power.

He also wanted to become a television anchor man. He knew he spoke well and he was just looking for ways to put his face before a lot of people.

He kept a scrapbook with clippings from every article he was in.

He kept coming up with various schemes for getting the most love.

There was a wealthy Jew in Boca Raton, the late Jerry Hahn, a big Aish Ha Torah donor who loved Winiarz

Gafni took the three day Aish Ha Torah Discovery seminar around 1987. He then went into the office and took all the original Discovery files. A week later, R. Gafni started teaching the Discovery seminar in Israel.

R. Gafni was confronted on this. He said to Aish -- you guys don't own this. It's Torah. Anybody can teach it.

R. Gafni went around and taught the Discovery seminar for a year month or two. He was a great teacher. He started parroting the teachings of Aish Ha Torah founder R. Noach Weinberg. R. Weinberg, when he found out, was amused.

R. Gafni decided to follow R. Riskin's blueprint of becoming chief rabbi of his own town. R. Riskin became chief rabbi of Efrat by creating his own town with his own community.

In Israel, to become a rabbi of a city, it takes a lot of political savvy and support. If you wanted to become the rabbi of Jerusalem, you'd have to hire a PR firm and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and have major support in political places. Major Torah scholarship won't be enough to make it happen.

R. Gafni cut a deal with the contractor so he could become the rabbi of Beit Tzufim.

He got a job in the Israeli city of Kfar Saba. Every fourth Shabbat, he was the guest rabbi. People loved him. He was charismatic. He made friends.

One man approached him for help with his 22yo daughter. She needed counseling. She was dating a guy the father considered inappropriate. Mordechai agreed to counsel her.

He shaved off his beard. He got up in front of the synagogue and said he had found the woman of his dreams. He was leaving the rabbinate. He was leaving his wife. He was going to spend the rest of his life with this 22yo.

His second marriage came to an end. The father of the 22yo went berserk. He contacted the Chief Rabbi's office and filed a complaint.

Mordy's relationship with the 22yo broke up quickly.

Mordy left the rabbinate for about a year. Rabbi Shlomo Riskin was still in Mordy's corner.

At this point, around 1992, no American or Israeli institution would take R. Gafni. So Mordechai Gafni left for Australia. Rabbi Riskin had funding there. Rabbi Riskin wanted to spread his empire to Australia.

R. Gafni was caught in some obvious lies and his credibility down under was shot.

R. Gafni has no contact with his child from his first marriage. He has three kids from his second marriage. He has no kids from his third marriage (1998).

Mark Belzberg hired Mordy (they'd known each other from high school, Mark was a surrogate older brother for Mordechai) as a software salesman. Mark had a business partner, a wealthy lawyer baal teshuva who moved to Israel. He's reported that Mordechai used the company credit card for all kinds of immoral things on business trips (that he was made to pay back out of his own pocket).

Mordy walked into this guy's office and said he wanted to be president. The guy said Mordy would have to buy him out (Mordy doesn't have any money). The guy went away on a business trip for three weeks. He finds out that Mordechai Gafni had told everybody that he was president. So Belzberg's partner fired him on the spot.

Mordechai couldn't stay away from teaching Torah. He couldn't stay away from the limelight. R. Riskin helped Mordechai get a job around 1996 with R. David Aaron from Israel (Isralight).

R. Aaron's web site uses a promo from that litigious, and in my opinion, nogoodnik Deepak Chopra (who successfully sued the Weekly Standard and the New York Post for saying he patronized hookers): "Inspirational, wise, warm and witty... David Aaron gives us a down to earth understanding of the Kabbalah, revealing the secrets to living a soulful, happy, and more meaningful life."

R. Gafni had one or two flings with his Isralight students. R. David Aaron won't speak about it. R. Gafni got fired from Isralight.

He got a job with a group called Milah (Jerusalem Institute for Education, founded and funded by David Morrison and his wife Jo). Gafni became high profile in Jerusalem around 1998. He got fired because of money and power and sexual issues.

(A source writes: "Milah was an adult education ulpan for Americans and ethiopians who finished the regular ulpan and were still not comfortable in Hebrew. Gafni used this role as head of the organization, not to teach Hebrew, but to teach his theories of pagan Judaism and a parashat hashavua class.")

A rabbinical student at Hebrew University around this time had a moral dilemma. He worked for a famous rabbi as a research assistant. "I listen to tapes of other well-known rabbis. I write them up for him. Then he gives over their classes."

It was obvious the student worked for R. Mordechai Gafni.

So whose tapes was he stealing these days? R. Noach Weinberg among others.

R. Gafni would often give over the teachings of other rabbis word-for-word, without attribution.

There was an eccentric, a Yaakov Fogelman, a Harvard-educated lawyer, who ran around the old city of Jerusalem. He swore by Mordechai. He publicized whenever Mordechai would speak. He thought Mordechai was a genius. 'He's the most brilliant educator of the past 500 years. I heard Soleveitchik. I heard this rabbi and that.'

So what genius things did Mordechai say? Yaakov would quote something that Mordy had stolen from some other rabbi.

Mordechai has great taste. He knows how to steal things from great people.

Another man had a moral dilemma. His wife had moved to Israel two months before him. He suspected that she had had an affair with a rabbi. Guess who he suspected of cuckolding him?

A lot of high profile Orthodox rabbis (until this Gary Rosenblatt article) did not know that Marc Winiarz was Mordechai Gafni. His name change worked. He succeeded in reinventing himself.

In the past four years, R. Gafni had developed an effective new strategy of admitting he did some bad things when he was a kid. Confession gains credibility. "I've done teshuva. I have a good marriage. There are people who are stalking me." He turns the accusations around.

A healthy baal teshuva is one who can forgive himself for his sins. In this sense, Marc is very healthy. A part of me admires him for everything he's been able to get away with, like the Tom Hanks crook in Catch Me If You Can.

R. Gafni is great at identifying people with big money. And what they believe, he will believe and preach. He's a purported TV star in Israel. It's paid television. He's paying (or his backers are paying, such Shari Arison, then the richest resident of Israel) for him to be on TV. It's like 6 a.m. for three minutes.

For a while, R. Gafni defined himself as post-denominational. Let others fight these petty fights between Reform and Orthodox. R. Gafni is beyond such things.

According to the recent Haaretz profile, it sounds like R. Gafni's latest theology comes straight from the Da Vinci Code -- the best-selling novel that claimed that ancient Christianity believed in two divinities, Jesus and Mary. In R. Gafni's enlightened theology, he claims the Jews have gotten rid of the erotic and chased away the female deity. He makes his brachot using the name of the shekhina to re-unite the male and female sides of God.

My sources tell me that the Master of the Universe mightily appreciates R. Gafni's good works in this respect, and the Holy One, Blessed Be He and She, feels much more united and whole since R. Gafni adjusted his brachot.

And what's a few molestations by Gafni compared to the Almighty's wholeness? Shall we talk of the things of girls or of the things of G-d?

R. Gafni is mighty different in private than in public. In public, he's full of love and cheer and performance. In private, he curses and talks like a slob.

R. Gafni is a terrific actor, and for that, I salute him.

I am, however, skeptical of his claims of credentials.

I believe that one of Gafni's biggest financial supporters is Israeli Jacob Davidson, whose wife (active in the protest group Women at the Wall) tried to get acceptance to Yeshiva University to become a rabbi.

In November, 2004, rabbi Gafni spoke in a tent in the Modern Orthodox German colony in Jerusalem. Gafni was surrounded by girls as he spoke about erotic Judaism. A source says that Gafni looks like a cult leader. He now wears long hair. He looks like a hippie.

5/12/06

Rabbi Mordecai Gafni Strikes Again?

Jewschool's Dan Sieradski aka Mobius writes:

Gafni, nee Marc Winiarz, who reportedly fled the United States for Israel to avoid either prosecution for previous charges of sexual assault or the social repercussions of such allegations, has been oustered from his position at Bayit Chadash, the spiritual community in Tel Aviv-Yaffo, amidst five distinct allegations of sexual harrassment and one charge of rape.

Letters are presently circulating to the directors of various spiritual communities here in North America at which Gafni regularly teaches, warning them not to invite the man onto their premeses. I should have one of these letters in my possession shortly. More details will follow.

Gafni, by the way, also writes parshat hashavua for ynet. I can't wait to see how they report this when it hits the press, if they report it at all.

Jewish Whistleblower writes:

In light of the events in recent days being reported by Jewschool's Dan Sieradski concerning Rabbi Mordecai/Marc Gafni/Winiarz "b(e)ing oustered from his position at Bayit Chadash, the spiritual community in Tel Aviv-Yaffo, amidst five distinct allegations of sexual harrassment and one charge of rape." I demand nothing less than the immediate resignation and removal from any public role in any Jewish institution the following rabbonim:

Rabbi Saul Berman; Rabbi Joseph Telushkin; Rabbi Arthur Waskow; Rabbi Zalman Schechter-Shalomi; Rabbi Avraham Infeld; Rabbi Haviva Ner-David; Rabbi Michael Zedek; Rabbi William Berk; Rabbi Marcelo Bronstein; Rabbi Leonid Feldman; Rabbi Tirzah Firestone; Rabbi Arthur Green; Rabbi Rolando Matalon; Rabbi Joe Schonwald; Rabbi Daniel Siegel; Rabbi Avi Weiss; Rabbi Eli Herscher; Rabbi Eric Yoffie; and all other Rabbis that publicly supported rasha Gafni and ignored the cries of his survivors.

I demand the same of all medical and mental health practitioners that publicly supported alleged rapist Gafni and not his victims. Hopefully, we can name more of them shortly.

Damn each and every one of them.

5/14/06

Rabbi Mordecai Gafni Update

As of a year or so ago, I was banned from Stephen S. Wise temple. There was a picture of me in their guardhouse. Presumably, this was for what I had just published about their star teacher Mordecai Gafni. Stephen S. Wise rabbis and lay leaders vigorously defended Gafni and attacked those of us who revealed his unsavory behavior.

I was also personally attacked for my reporting on Gafni by Rabbis Joseph Telushkin, Saul Berman, Rabbi Shefa Gold, Stephen S. Marmer, MD, PhD [a leader at Stephen S. Wise temple], and Naomi Mark, ACSW.

Via phone or email or both, I reached out to rabbis Telushkin and Berman to discuss these issues. They would not speak to me.

I'm not holding my breath for any apology from them, but it turns out that on Gafni and related issues, I was right and they were wrong. It was the Telushkin-mindset that held keep people like Aron Tendler in positions of religious leadership for over two decades while Aron was rubbing up against the ladies and using his rabbinic post to get laid.

I wonder if Telushkin and Berman will publicly apologize for how publicly wrong they've been on these matters.

The Jewish Week's Editor Gary Rosenblatt broke the story on Gafni but he placed the focus on Gafni's behavior more than twenty years ago. By contrast, I focused on Gafni's ongoing creepy behavior.

In response, Rosenblatt told many people that I was an unreliable journalist.

Well, let people now judge who did the most accurate and important work on Gafni - Gary or me.

From Jewschool.com, this email from Arthur Waskow:

Dear friends,

Once again we face the news that a position of spiritual leadership has been turned into a platform for sexual abuse.

I am sending you a statement issued Friday by Avraham Leader, head of the Board of Bayit Chadash in Israel a community dedicated to the spiritual renewal of Judaism..

The statement announces that its Board has just fired Rabbi Mordechai Gafni (its founder and chief teacher) because of his actions described in the formal depositions of four women, and the statements of others some who had been students and subordinate staff that he had had sexual relationships with them, and had sworn them to secrecy. Leader affirms his and the Board's conviction that the accusations are true.

I hardly need to say how sad, how angry, and how betrayed Gafni's behavior makes me feel And how much it raises questions once again about how to walk that thin line between spiritual ecstasy and the domineering frenzy that is not only damaging in itself but sometimes even leads to sexual abuse.

I am grateful that these women have come forward to say the truth.

There is a lot more to say. Some of it I will say below, after inserting here Avraham Leader s announcement so that we can all know what we are talking about.

I must share with you that yesterday women from our community filed complaints of sexual misconduct against Rabbi Mordechai Gafni with the police. I was aware of this situation because I had previously read the depositions that these women had declared to an attorney. I also personally heard the testimonies of these women, as well as that of another woman from
an institution where Rabbi Gafni previously worked. I shared my findings and recommendations with Jacob Ner-David, the chairman of our board; with Shantam Zohar, a Bayit Chadash teacher and leader; and with Or Zohar, a Bayit Chadash teacher and our CEO.

My colleagues agreed with me that in the present situation, we should recommend to the Bayit Chadash steering committee that Rabbi Gafni’s tenure in Bayit Chadash be ended immediately, or alternatively, we would collectively resign. After the members of the steering committee read some of the depositions, they decided to remove Rabbi Gafni from the Bayit Chadash staff. The decision of the steering committee was further reinforced in light of the complaints filed with the police.

Were this was a matter solely related to Rabbi Gafni’s private life, this would not be my concern, and certainly not that of the community. The problem is that this involves women from our community, staff members and students. Although these relationships were apparently consensual, it is our position that there is no place for relations like this between a rabbi and his students or between an employer and his employees. It would seem that this is also the opinion of Rabbi Gafni, since he swore all the women involved to eternal and absolute silence.

The women, however, decided to speak. I have no doubt that they speak truth, and willingly risk my personal credibility and integrity on my support of their testimony. I may add that my colleagues arrived at similar conclusions.

As to the criminal aspect of his actions, that is up to the police and the courts to decide. Beyond that, judgment is in the hands of the Judge of all the world.

The sense of disappointment is very great, for me personally as well. Mordechai always treated me with friendship and respect. At times like this our sages say that one should scrutinize one’s own actions, and meditate upon why one is part of such a story. Certainly there is much to learn from such a difficult and painful experience.

May we all see, fear and tremble, may healing to our shared soul come swiftly, and may this healing encompass all involved and all who are witness, in this and all worlds.

Avraham Leader, on behalf of Bayit Chadash
Iyar 14, 5766, the 29th day of the Omer, Friday, May 12, 2006

Back to me, Arthur Waskow:

There is a great deal we could do in all communities of spiritual depth – Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, no doubt others to prevent or minimize this deformation of the Spirit into an idol – an event that has happened in each of these traditions, and not just once.

Not only must the teachers who might fall into this idolatry be taught how to celebrate in joy but not in frenzy; those learners or on-staff subordinates who might fall into the role of victim also need to empower themselves to access their own inner rebbe,  not feel that the only rebbe-energy that they can access comes wrapped in domination.

And in this they need the help of the community in creating a culture that encourages each of us, all of us, to see ourselves as rebbes, able to be in touch with God.

Of course this involves not just theory or theology but also the real-life suffering of many people. (Truthful theology always flows from the lives of the people – the Images of God.)

Avraham Leader says on his own behalf and that of Bayit Chadash, At times like this our sages say that one should scrutinize one’s own actions, and meditate upon why one is part of such a story.

True enough. And I ask myself the same question. Mordechai Gafni taught at both ALEPH Kallot and at Elat Chayyim retreat center. Both organizations will need to respond in their own voices. What I know, having also taught and learned at both places, is that both have extremely strong and clear prohibitions on any sexual relationships between teachers, davvening leaders, and other such persons in positions of authority with any students, participants, etc. Those prohibitions are communicated not only to the teachers but to all participants.

When reports surfaced about Gafni having been an abuser 25 or so years ago – none till now ever surfaced about any occasions more recent – rigorous investigations went forward. Persons in leadership at Elat Chayyim deliberately interviewed women who were in a position to know whether Gafni was violating the ethics standards. No evidence surfaced that he was. Outside the sexual sphere, he was rebuked several times for behavior in classes that was domineering, and seemed to restrain himself thereafter.

I myself have been accused by a few people on the Internet of having defended him. What I did defend was a process for investigating allegations – a process that insisted on serious evidence, not second-hand or third-hand statements like I have been told that … I continue to believe that this is the only way to deal with any allegations of wrongdoing, including this kind.

And in this case, nothing emerged that indicated any problem less than 25 years old – and even those seemed unconfirmable.

It is true that there is an unusual problem in applying this standard in this kind of situation. Some or all of the women who have made statements in regard to his behavior at Bayit Chadash have said that Gafni swore them to secrecy — and they agreed, till now. The fusion of spiritual power and sexual abuse is liable to create such a situation when even people who might be thought to have every reason to reveal violations feel so overawed or so beloved by the abuser that they do not define what is happening as abuse, or are unwilling to talk about it.

So that means it is a lot harder to get the kind of evidence that can justify dismissal, etc. At Bayit Chadash, when such evidence did surface the institution responded. I am open to suggestions on how to act in some other way that as the tradition commands, will pursue justice, justice–pursue the ends of justice by using just means.

For some of my thoughts of how we might address and act on this whole matter of the relationships among spiritual leadership, sexual energy, and sexual abuse, see my essay on our Website (It was written years ago in response to a previous case, and of course I will continue to keep thinking and writing about this issue.)

May all those who are involved in this, the victims first and most of all and ultimately the perpetrator too find a healing that includes tzedek and mishpat, both restorative & transformative justice.

To use the Kabbalistic language about God's aspects or emanations not just Chesed (overflowing lovingkindness) and not just Gevurah (rigorous boundaries) and not just a balance between them but their profound synthesis in Tiferet / Rachamim, that womb-like, heart-like outpouring of life that is rooted in powerful boundaries, just as the powerful and strongly boundaried heart-muscle sends life-blood pouring through the body, and the powerful and strongly boundaried womb-muscle births new life into the world.

In setting forth this prayer, I do not mean to leave its fulfillment in the hands of God. Or rather, I do – in the sense that when human beings act in a holy way, they are indeed the hands of God.

Shalom,
Arthur

...............

The anonymous girl in Gary Rosenblatt's article writes:

I was thirteen, entering 9th grade at a yeshiva high school in NY. Mordechai Winiarz (now known as Marc Gafni) appeared at my parent's shabbat table, I think in early September. He was a rabbinical student at YU. He offered to tutor me in Talmud, a new subject for girls in 9th grade in my school. He invited me over to Lincoln Square Synagogue, where he offered to help me out with learning Bava Metziah, if I would meet him on Shabbat afternoon in one of their class rooms.

After our first lesson, he walked me home, and proceeded to tell me how "special" I was, and that he really liked me. I got a weird feeling about this, but being completely inexperienced with adult men, I didn't have a clue about how to respond to this. I was a very sheltered religious girl. I wore long skirts and long sleeves, had told boys in 8th grade that I would not touch them as I believed in "negiah." I had no experience with boys, or men, for that matter, except for a few wonderful teachers I had in school.

Also, there was a lot going on for me and my family at the time. My mom was just getting over breast cancer, having gone through a year of chemotherapy. She was very sick and we were all frightened. My rather large family was in crisis due to this, and I would say that due to this trauma, not a lot of attention or attentiveness was being sent my way. Considering the circumstances, my family was doing the best they could. Mordechai asked if I would like to "learn" with him, and I said OK.

Over the next month, he continued to tell me how much he liked me and how "special" I was, but told me that I must not tell any one that he felt this way. He told me that if my parents knew about it, they would blame me for associating with him, and that I would be shamed in my community. He told me that we had to keep it a secret, because most people just wouldn't understand. As far as I understood at that point, we had a friendship, and I was getting some extra attention from an adult at a time when there wasn't a lot adult attention to go around in my family. My dad was overworked, and my mom was recovering from cancer. I didn't quiet understand why I should be silent about the things Mordechai told me. He hadn't touched me yet, but was doing a fine job of "grooming me" into being silent and fearful. He convinced me that I had to be loyal to him, and "not tell" about how he felt about me. I believed everything he told me. In retrospect, he calculatedly brainwashed me into silence, hooked me into an emotional trap, ensuring that I wouldn't tell my parents.

Then he asked my parents if he could stay at our house over shabbat, because he wanted to be able to walk to a synagogue in our part of the city. They said OK. (My parents had no idea that they should suspect him of anything. After all, he was a religious guy from YU.) It was then that he started coming into my room after I had fallen asleep, and waking me up. I remember clearly that when he tried to touch me, I pushed him away repeatedly. I remember saying, "no, no, no!" I knew intuitively that it just wasn't OK with me. But he was larger and stronger than me, and after a huge struggle, he overcame me. Week after week, he would come into my bedroom and wake me up in the middle of the night, and I would fight to keep him from touching me. Every time, I was overcome by him physically. He had already done the job of convincing me that if I told one I would be shamed by my family and my community, so I kept silent about what was going on. I hated it, was disgusted by it, and I was terrified, but there was no place I could talk about it or get help. I also had no words for what was happening to me, it was horrible and indescribable. I think of myself back then as a 13 year old girl who had to become disconnected from the world around her, it was full of contradiction and betrayal, and I had been trapped in this horrible situation with, as far as I could see, no way out. I walked around my neighborhood, a place that had always been familiar and safe for me, and I no longer felt connected to anything.

I remember on one of the nights that he came into my room, woke me up and was trying to molest me, he told me that he and his brother were abused by their mother, who was a holocaust survivor. He told me that she stuck their heads in the kitchen oven. There was a very clear message that because of what had happened to him, he couldn't help but doing what he was doing to me, and he pleaded with me to understand that, have compassion with him, and comply. More than once, he told me what he was doing was because of the way I looked, or because he just couldn't control himself. He described the world to me as he saw it, full of boys and men who just could not control their sexual impulses, and like them, he really couldn't help himself- he just had to do what he was doing to me. He just had no choice. He added, as part of his rationalization, that the guys at YU were always masturbating, but no one talked about it.

But he was tormented by the fact that he had no control over himself. Each morning after the molestation experience, I would wake up and walk into the living room, and see him shuckling wildly, beating his chest, doing "teshuva" for what he had done the night before. He told me that I should join him in doing teshuva too! Amazingly, he really believed that I was a partner in sin. Of course, I didn't "daven" or do "teshuva", but just stared at him in disbelief. And even after this fervent bout of repentance, he would wake me up in the middle of the night the next week.

I also remember him practicing sermons in front of me. He would pace around, gesticulating and dramatizing this or that phrase from the Torah. He wanted to be just like Rabbi Riskin, and he did a great job emulating Riskin's body language and speech patterns. He talked a lot about gaining popularity and getting to be a powerful leader. Mordechai made it clear that he wanted to be a "big rabbi," a "tzaddik". It seemed to me that he just loved to hear himself talk.

The abuse went on through the year I was in 9th grade. The school year was almost over, I remember it was warm out. He called me on the phone one day to tell me that he would no longer be coming over. He realized that what he really needed was to get married soon, and he explained that this would give him a proper outlet for his sexuality. Its hard to describe how I felt at that moment, because it is complex. My molester finally decided to stop abusing me, to leave me alone, to move on. You would imagine I would feel great relief, but actually the full weight of the abuse I had endured in silence came crashing down on me. Here I was, left with this horrible experience, still with no one to talk to about it, and no language for it anyway. And he wasn't retreating because I had some how managed to make him stop, but because he decided it just wasn't worth the risk any more. He was terrified that he would do more and make me pregnant- then there would be no way to keep his secret. Until then, his abuse included exposing my body against my will, forcibly touching my breast, grabbing my hand and forcing me to touch his penis, and forced digital vaginal penetration. All were the most horrifying, degrading and painful experiences for me. All this only a year or so after my bat mitzvah.

After his phone call, I knew that I no longer had to endure his abuse, but now I had to figure out how to survive it, and what I really wanted to do was escape the world that had allowed this to happen to me. I understand that what I was going through is called post-traumatic stress these days. But in those days, and in my community, the words sexual violence, sexual abuse, or molestation, sexual trauma, were just not house-hold concepts. I knew there was no way any one would believe my story, and if anything, what happened would be misunderstood or minimized and dismissed.

After a while, I figured the best thing to do was to "put the experience away" until I could figure out how to deal with it. During the abuse, I had, out of necessity, become pretty good at compartmentalizing myself, and leaving my body when something was happening to it that I hated, but couldn't control. I was also good at "putting away" the things that were just too complex and painful to deal with at the time. This is how I survived the rest of high school.

I tried to escape the trauma I had endured by spending the next school year in Israel, doing my best to push it out of my immediate reality. Upon returning from Israel for the 11th grade, I began to withdraw from the Orthodox world. I made it to college and embraced college life. My twenties were about getting as far away from what had happened to me as possible. I was determined to be free of a world that had betrayed me, and to embrace the world as a secular Jewish college kid. It wasn't until much later that I was really able to deal with the trauma of what had happened.

While in high school, I had told some of my siblings, who were shocked. No one knew what to do with my story. I told a male NCSY counselor, who had no response, except to look very uncomfortable. When I was 18, I told my parents, who were also shocked, and enraged. But no one knew how to deal with he information I was sharing.

It wasn't until about 10 years ago, that I began to speak out more widely about what had happened to me. In 1994, I wrote a letter to Rabbi Riskin, and told him my story. I never received a response from him. I continue to tell the story to any one who wants to know about it. Many people have contacted me over the years. People who had a "creepy" feeling about Mordechai, or who had heard rumors, but wanted to hear a first hand account.

I tell my story for the following reasons:

If there is any way I can protect another girl or woman from going through what I went through, I will do it. If there is any way I can protect a parent from having their child victimized, and having to deal with the pain and guilt of not having known enough to protect their child, I will do it.

Unfortunately, I knew Mordechai very well. He told me a lot about himself, and I knew him as a sexually compulsive, sexually violent man. After talking with counselors, lawyers, and professionals who advise and counsel sexual perpetrators, I learned that in 99% of cases, people who compulsively sexually abuse girls or women, especially those who were abused themselves as children, don't stop. These are dangerous people. The more we are silent about them, the more they have the freedom to act out their sexual compulsions. Further first hand accounts show that Mordechai continued to molest young women after he was married. Unfortunately, marriage did not solve his problems. There is no reason for me to assume he is not still victimizing girls and women. Back when I knew him, he was a refined manipulator, "groomer," "brain-washer," and he used those skills in order to victimize girls and young women. I have no doubt that, years later, he has honed his skills as a predator.

A couple of years ago, Mordechai asked one of his supporters to contact me, to see if we could meet. I was told that he wanted to make peace with me. I read a letter that he wrote, stating that he regretted that our "relationship" didn't work out, and that he wished he had waited for me to come of age and had married me. He really thought that we had a mutually consenting relationship, and that I was hoping that he would take me as his bride! There was no acknowledgment that he did anything against my will, and certainly no recognition of the gravity of his actions. He was trying to contact me because he knew I was telling my story, and he wanted to stop the bad PR, not because he wanted to make amends, do "teshuva," or own up in any way to what he did. His statements to Gary Rosenblatt, "I never forced her...she was 14 going on 35" are the farthest from the truth. Anyway, I expected that he would be smarter than to make these transparently self incriminating statements. Like your classic pedophile, he claimed that the child was consenting, loved him back, and really liked what was going on. There is no reason for me to believe that Gafni has reformed his ways. There is every reason for me to speak out and protect others from him.

Of all people, Mordechai should not be teaching people about Judaism - any "variety of Judaism" - Orthodox or Jewish Renewal, or any other Jewish trend. Yes, he is smart, charismatic, knows how to excite people, bring people in. Are we that desperate for someone to attract wayward Jews to Judaism, that we condone a sexual predator doing it?

Should Judaism be taught to spiritual seekers by someone who has molested minors and attacked young women? If we want a formula for misrepresentation...and turning people off to Judaism for good - we've got one.

.........

I talk by phone October 10, 2004 to the Susan in Gary Rosenblatt's article:

A woman named Susan, who at the time was a 22-year-old adviser in JPSY, said she believed Judy’s account. She said that when she took Judy’s side, Gafni made harassing phone calls and threats against her.

“He told me I would regret it,” Susan said, adding that the rabbi made inappropriate advances to her, as well.

Susan: "I became an advisor for JPSY (Jewish Public School Youth) in 1985. I was 21. I was responsible for a club at a high school in Queens in NY. Mordechai Winiarz was the head of JPSY. There were Shabbatonim -- weekends when all the Jewish public school kids were invited to experience a Shabbat together.... The goal was to help these young adults become connected with Judaism.

"My initial impression of Mordechai Winiarz was that he was charismatic, appealing to kids, and successful as a speaker. He's engaging. These characteristics are typical of people who have been accused of the things he has been accused of. He knows how to capture people's attention. The kids were enthralled by him.

"I developed a relationship with one of the kids quoted in the [Gary Rosenblatt] article named Judy."

Gary writes:

The second woman, Judy, said that when she was 16 and deeply unhappy at home, she joined a popular Orthodox outreach group for teens that Gafni was leading called JPSY (Jewish Public School Youth), and was drawn to his charisma and concern for her.

During a two-week period when she ran away from home and was staying with Rabbi Gafni, who was then 25 and married, Judy said he abused her sexually on two occasions. Even more upsetting, she said, was that afterward, the rabbi tried to convince her the encounter did not happen, and then harassed her for many months. He threatened to keep her out of Jewish schools (she was seeking to transfer from public school to a yeshiva), called her home at all hours of the night and then hung up, mailed pictures to her home of naked men and had her followed.

“He attempted to destroy my life for a year and a half,” she said.

Gafni said that Judy was a troubled, unstable teenager who fabricated the story after he rebuffed her advances.

Susan: "She came from a troubled home, so she was excited about JPSY. Mordechai took a great interest in reaching out to her.

"At that time, Mordechai had married his second wife. They lived in Brooklyn and they took Judy into their home. Judy was happy living in their basement. It gave her a feeling of worth. Wow, she was living with Mordechai.

"I remember once hearing Mordechai speak [Susan was in her teens] and I remember thinking of him then what you wrote in one of your articles. Yes, he was charismatic, but there was something about him that cult-like.

"When I started working at JPSY, I heard from people that he was peculiar. When you wrote that he's a creep, I thought wow, I've also heard that word [applied to Gafni] several times.

"[Gafni's second wife] had been a JPSY adviser. Mordechai was single. So many people were warning her to stay away from him because there were so many questions about his character -- That he was a dangerous person. That he had a dark side. That he had a sordid past. It was something that some of the JPSY advisers were talking about. People were taking her aside and warning her not to marry the guy.

"They married November 13, 1985. They invited all the JPSY kids to the wedding. I was asked to take a group of kids to the wedding. It was on Long Island. I remember the aura of disbelief among the advisors. People were worried for his wife-to-be..

"I didn't have that much to do with him. He was always very warm and friendly. He always had a way of looking at people and making them feel important. He would joke around a lot with me. He's witty and I can be witty. We would have our repartee. I was never interested in him. It was never an issue.

"We were having a meeting at my home at 6 p.m. one Sunday in May 1986. Mordechai was supposed to be there as the head of JPSY along with several other advisers and me. About 4:30 p.m., I was the only one at home. I hadn't gotten ready yet. I was wearing a robe. Just a regular robe. And the doorbell rang. I got the door. Mordechai was standing at my front door in a dark suit with a yarmulke on his head, holding a large gemara in his hand. I just looked at him, 'Mordechai, what are you doing here? Our meeting is at six o'clock.' He said, 'Oh, I was the neighborhood. I figured I'd stop by early. Don't mind me. I have my gemara. I'll just learn while you're getting ready.'

"I was shocked. I was uncomfortable. I had no idea what it would be like to have him waiting in the living room while I was getting ready for the meeting. It seemed very odd (and somewhat rude) to me that he had come by so early, but. I didn't know how to say that his presence made me feel uncomfortable and that I would have preferred that he leave. Afterall, he I worked for him, and he was 'the rabbi,' so I said, ok, Mordechai. Please stay in the living room. I didn't know you were coming this early, so I need you to stay put here.

"I ushered him into the living room. I closed the french doors .I went back to my room to get dressed. No sooner did I get to my room than I turned around because he had left the living room and walked all the way to my bedroom , opened the door and said, 'Susan, Male Sexual Health,' as he pointed to a book he had taken from a shelf in in the corridor near my room.

"He had taken a book off the shelf right near my room. My father is a psychologist and had many books in the hallway right near my room. Mordechai had taken a book off the shelf entitled, Male Sexual Health. He held it in front of me and said, 'Male Sexual Health. I bet there's a lot you could teach me about that.'

"I was shocked. There he was standing so inappropriately and looking at me with what seemed to me to be a suggestive stare. I didn't know how to handle it. I felt scared but felt I needed to remain calm. I just looked at him and said, 'Mordechai, what are you doing here? You were supposed to stay in the living room. I'm trying to get ready.' Please leave. I purposely didn't even respond directly to his crass comment.

"So he put the book back on the shelf and walked a few steps closer to me. He said, 'You really shouldn't be wearing that robe because it shows me your shape.'

"I just felt this shudder go through me. I said, 'Mordechai, please leave right now.' He was just trying to get a response from me to see if there was any interest. It was clear that he realized that there was none.

"I was shocked and frightened.

"He ended up returning to the living room. I closed the door. I threw on my clothes.

"I was uncomfortable throughout the meeting. Did I approach Mordechai afterwards about it? No. Because nothing happened. And I was scared of the look he had given me during the incident. He had given me a look that terrified me.

"Soon after that, Judy called me. 'I'm shocked. Mordechai came downstairs to the basement and he started touching me.' She ended up crying to me about the two experience she had had with Mordechai. Soon she started telling me the details about what happened to her, which did involve a lot of sexual contact [but no intercourse]. I think he was smart enough to know that she was 16. She told me that he asked her when she had last gotten her period at a point when he seemed positioned for intercourse.

"It immediately clicked with me that this guy is so capable of that because I knew how he had been with me. I knew that so many people talked about his past. The rumors I had heard began to make sense. I realized what could have happened had I not made it clear to Mordechai that he was to stay away from me.

"It was totally unacceptable and immoral behavior Although she was enthralled by the guy and enamoured by his charm, what made her incredibly angry and hurt and terrified was the way he planned the subsequent mind games.

"He came back downstairs and said to her, Judy, I'm worried about you. I think you're imagining that something happened between us.

"When he began playing mind games with her--making her think that she was crazy--fabricating everything, everything started to fall apart for her. Mordechai and (Wife #2) had been parenting her. She had placed her trust in him. She could not believe what had occurred. He made her think that she was crazy and fabricating the whole thing. That, in addition to destroying her trust in him, frightened her. He started to threaten her. 'I don't know what you think happened here, but you will be sorry and I will destroy you if you tell anyone stories about what you think happened. I will make sure that you will never get into any Jewish school. Your reputation will be destroyed.'

"Of course I wasn't in the room when this happened. People in his position do not invite witnesses to observe their behavior. They don't sell tickets for the event. But as an intelligent person who had experienced Mordechai's inappropriate behavior and had heard a lot allusions to his past, I believed that this guy was capable of what Judy described.

"To validate my thoughts, Mordechai called me. 'Susan, it's Mordechai. I need to talk to you. It's really important.' This was right after I had hung up with Judy. 'Susan, you're one of my top advisers. You're terrific. I'm really worried about Judy. My wife and I took her in.... I'm a friendly guy. I went downstairs to say goodnight to her one night. She thinks that something happened. Something physical. Some sort of a relationship. If she says anything to you, please let me know.'

"I began to plead with other rabbis in the Jewish community [to do something about Mordechai]. His position enabled him to be in constant contact with young women and kids, and what I knew firsthand and, as a confidante of Judy was enough to make me feel that rabbis in the Jewish community needed to do something. Rabbi Kenneth Hain is a friend of Mordechai's. It was clear that Mordechai was dangerous and needed to be stopped based on what I knew at that point. (At this time I did not know about his repeated sexual assaults on the thirteen year old girl- over nine months earlier in his life--sexual contact to which Winiarz/Gafni admitted in Gary's article. He [Mordechai] needed to be stopped in his tracks.

"Rabbi Hain called me to to tell stop what I was doing, which was taking Judy's and my experiences to the appropriate people at Yeshiva University, the main group supporting JPSY. I cried on the phone to Rabbi Hain.. I told him exactly what had happened to me, and I told him how Mordechai had been threatening both Judy and me.

"Rabbi Hain knew me. There was no reason for me to fabricate a story. I had heard of all these other stories of people who had various negative experiences with Mordechai. Rabbi Hain said to me in his deep voice, 'Sometimes the bigger person is the one who can just let things go.' He kept telling me to move on.

"I was shocked and disgusted. He knew I was trying to reach the right people [to do something about Mordechai]. I did not have a lot of support. People were telling me be quiet. How dare rabbinic leaders turn their eyes and ears away from crying victims! How dare anyone say that Mordechai was exonerated! There was never any Bet Din nor were there any attempts to contact me or us to do "teshuvah" as (Mordechai) claims he did. And it is not for Rabbis Berman and Telushkin and the others to claim to know who has done teshuva. They are not G-d. G-d handles exoneration of sins, and we women were never contacted by anyone supposedly exploring this case.

"There was a rabbi in Jamaica Estates, Rabbi Yitzchak Adler, who also told me to move on. Since I wasn't there, [when Judy says Mordechai got sexual with her]. I had no right to spread lashon hara.

"I am learned. I have a strong Judaic background. I went to yeshiva. I know the laws of lashon hara. I know when it is permitted and not permitted to speak ill of someone. There are certain situations when it is required [to bring up harmful details about somebody's past to protect innocent people in the present].

"[In the summer of 1986] I was on an Israel program. I went to Efrat, where rabbi [Shlomo] Riskin was rabbi. He ultimately revoked [in 2004] Mordechai's ordination [after earlier being a big supporter of Mordechai]. I told rabbi Riskin everything. He was extremely unsupportive. I think that these rabbis were afraid of what a scandal might mean for the Orthodox rabbinate. He listened to me and I think he believed what I told him, but for some reason he didn't want to do anything about it.

"I met with JPSY advisers and filled them in on what I knew. There was a meeting at YU [not a Beit Din]. Shalom Lamm, the son of the president of YU, Norman Lamm, was there. Judy and I told of our experiences. Soon after that, Mordechai was ousted from JPSY. Throughout the process, as soon as he knew that I was making known to the appropriate people what he had done, I received harassing and threatening phone calls at my phone at home. One was traced by the Annoyance Call Bureau (which had put a tap on my phone) to Mordechai's home. The others came from pay phones. I would get heavy breathing. I would get the sounds of someone smashing a hammer into something. I couldn't press charges since the Annoyance Call Bureau needed three phonecalls traced to the same number. The calls I received were traced to different numbers. It was almost as if Mordechai knew how to make harrassing phone calls without being caught.

"He would also call me and say that he was going to make sure that I was sorry. That he was going to sue me for libel. I remember thinking, for an intelligent guy, why are you using the word 'libel'? I haven't written anything.

"He said I was trying to destroy his marriage. That I had no basis. That I was making everything up."

10/4/04

I got an email from Dr. Norman Solomon, a retired professor in Oxford's Oriental Studies department, in reply to my questions:

Dear Luke:

Re Gafni's claims:

1) teaching graduate seminars on mysticism at Oxford University in England

Gafni has spoken on mysticism at my seminar, at my invitation. It could be misleading to describe this as "teaching graduate seminars", since this might be taken to imply that he is or has been a member of staff here, which is incorrect.

2) a fellow at the Oriental Institute of Oxford University

Gafni is not and never has been a fellow at the Oriental Institute (in fact there is no such category).

3) an Oxford-trained scholar

He has worked towards a D.Phil (we have no degree of Ph.D.) under my supervision, but has not not submitted.

4) he also holds a Ph.D. from Oxford

He does not hold a Ph.D. from Oxford. Should it be confirmed that he has made such a spurious claim it would be regarded here as an extremely serious breach of discipline.

Oxford professor Joanna Weinberg emails me back: "Gafni taught a seminar which was not part of the university curriculum - he simply used the premises of the Oriental Institute."

Oxford professor Hugh Williamson writes me:

Gafni is registered here as a D.Phil. (=PhD) student. There have been some stumbles in his progress, and as I am no longer Director of Graduate Studies, it is just possible that I am slightly out of date. My understanding, however, is that he has yet to pass through the 'Coinfirmation of D.Phil. Status' stage, which is the final hurdle before he is allowed to sbmit his thesis for examination. He is emphatically NOT a fellow of the Oriental Institute, nor does he hold a PhD here. Whether he took part in a graduate seminar I do not know; he is being trained (when he allows himself to be) as an Oxford scholar, but we could not yet certify him, so to speak! He is rarely present in Oxford, so that input from this end is minimal. Gafni has been told before not to make such representations of himself and has agreed not to do so; it is there very disappointing to learn that he is still at it.

Professor Martin Goodman writes: "He is Norman's student (Marc Gafni). Norman has been supervising him jointly with Moshe Idel (Hebrew U). Gafni is a member of Wolfson and was around for 2 years or so, but is now in Jerusalem (I think). So far as I know, he has not finished his D.Phil. (but Norman should know!)."

............

Bayit Chadash employs rabbi Mordechai Gafni as its "spiritual director":

Reb Gafni is the Rosh Bayit of Bayit Chadash. His affiliations include being a fellow at the Oriental Institute of Oxford University, as well as serving as a contributing editor to the American "Tikkun" magazine...

Here is the board for Bayit Chadash. Its members include: Yosef Abramowitz, rabbi Leonid Feldman, rabbi Tirzah Firestone, rabbi Arthur Green, Dr. Daniel Matt, rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, rabbi Arthur Waskow, rabbi Avi Weiss.

Jacob Ner-David, Avraham Leader, Neil Markowitz -- board members of Bayit Chadash (where Gafni is the "Spiritual Director) -- emailed other board members of American Friends of Bayit Chadash in October 2004:

As we shared with you recently a group of people -who for the past twenty years have been sadly but determinedly antagonistic to Rabbi Gafni and all

I call an Orthodox friend.

Friend: "Teresa Strasser. She'd never date you. She hates Jewish men. I can only imagine what she thinks about converted Jewish men.

"You did not pick up Amy Klein?"

Luke: "It was a joke."

Friend: "The Torah condemns faggotry? Oh boy. You've done it now. The Conservative movement is going to have let in gay rabbis. They are way behind the clock on it."

Luke: "Those who are learned in Talmud generally won't want to make the switch."

Friend: "[UJ provost] Elliot Dorff?"

Luke: "He's for the switch but he's moderate."

Friend: "It's frightening how many rich Jews there are in Los Angeles. If they ever wanted to fix the budget deficit, they should just confiscate money from Jews.

"The only Jewish charities that don't get money are the schools. They're all going bankrupt. I see Shalhevet is starting an elementary school for whites. Hillel and all those places, there are too many Israelis and Persians. Westside Jews don't want their kids running around with Israelis and Persians. Old fashioned racism makes the world go round.

"Did your cover on the LA Weekly get you laid?"

Luke: "No. I haven't been with a Jewish woman in six years."

Friend: "You're pathetic. You should go to bars and say, 'I'm this man.'"

Luke: "I couldn't do that."

Friend: "You don't drink?"

Luke: "I don't drink but that's not the reason. I don't like to hang out in bars. I will not pursue sex, no matter how much I want it. If it happens, I'm not strong enough to say no.

"I was on VH1 and nothing. I'm in a slump. I've met a lot of women. They just have no interest in sleeping with me."

Friend: "There's always Friday Night Live."

Luke: "They have no interest in me.

"I'm good at meeting women but as soon as they Google me, they're horrified, as they should be."

Friend: "Call Teresa Strasser."

Luke: "She wouldn't date me. I adore her. She's a great writer."

Friend: "I don't think she's that great. She's pretty good."

Luke: "She's the best at the Jewish Journal."

Friend: " That's not saying a lot. She's really good on that TV show - Fix This House. I don't like her attitude towards Jewish men. Who is she? Though I hear she has a great rack."

Luke: "Natural Bs."

Friend: "I hope she stays streamlined and doesn't flare. That's a real problem. Women do that. I have a diet for women -- ice chips and spinach leaves. That's all they should eat. You can live off that. No single woman should have more than that in her diet.

"That's the problem with women -- they eat too much. Have you ever watched women eat? It's revolting. It's worse than men.

"You know how I succeeded with women? My looks with women on a 1-10, with 10 being highest, I was a 1.7. I invited chicks to dinner. That's all you need to do. Jesus Christ, I was amazed at how much they could put down. Take them to Cheesecake Factory. I wasn't always kosher. Holy hell. I couldn't believe it."

Luke: "I was with this pot head who'd want to order pizza at 2 a.m. I was fine with her being 10 pounds overweight, but when she added another five, I lost my attraction to her. And I have a wide tolerance because beggars can't be choosers."

Friend: "My friend went on JDate. He got laid a lot and met a lot of weirdos. A girl who'd had a bad day at work would want to blow him in the car."

Luke: "I've never had that."

Chaim Amalek writes:

How long had it been since you last inserted your penis into a Jew's vagina? Me, it's been a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

And now my DVD player has stopped working. Now I know how the Jews felt as they were being led into the gas chambers of Treblinka.

That does it - I'm going on Jdate. Are the women there that slutty? Nutty is a given, but that slutty?

The Jews of LA are so rich and you are a Jew, so why aren't you rich?

Jewish Journal Editor Rob Eshman writes March 31, 2006:

At a private dinner for major supporters of the University of Judaism’s (UJ) Public Lecture Series, the guests of honor each rose to say a few words to the 100 or so diners. Coulter immediately referenced the massive immigration rallies that were taking place across Los Angeles.

“I don’t remember the last time I saw that many angry Mexicans,” she said.

Not a titter. Nervous shifting in seats. Guests cast apologetic glances at the legions of Latino waiters and busboys.

“Now I know why my towels were a little late coming up to my hotel room.”

More silence. Whispers among the crowd: How could she say that?

Virginia Maas, chair of the UJ’s Department of Continuing Education, followed Coulter to the podium and offered a polite but pointed rebuke: “As a proud Mexican American and a Jew,” said Maas, referencing her own background, “I want to thank Ms. Coulter.”

Franken, in his comments, said the genteel dinner guests “just got a little taste” of what they were in for.

“By the way,” he said, “the last time I saw that many angry Mexicans, the United States had invaded Mexico and was fighting Santa Ana, looking for weapons of mass destruction.”

And from there, as the festivities moved to the public event, things got even nastier.

Five University of Judaism professors write to the Jewish Journal (May 12, 2006 issue):

...[W]e are ashamed and disgusted by the performance of Al Franken and Ann Coulter in the Department of Continuing Education’s Speaker Series (“Sectarian Violence,” March 31). Some of us expressed our opposition when the event was announced. Over our objections, the event went forward.

The UJ claims to speak for Judaism, a tradition that warns of the destructive power of negative speech. We are dismayed that the UJ has been co-opted into the worst aspects of the political culture of violent verbal confrontation and ethnic slurs. The UJ, like American society more generally, has benefited from racial and ethnic diversity. We are disappointed that the UJ has enabled, and paid, a speaker who would voice the worst types of ethnic stereotypes and slurs.

We call on the administration, the Department of Continuing Education and the board to apologize to the Latino members of the University community, our students and co-workers. Furthermore, we call upon the Department of Continuing Education program and other appropriate members of the UJ to ensure that we do not select as future speakers those whose biases so clearly violate our principles regarding the treatment of fellow human beings. We hope that in the future, all of the UJ’s public programs will reflect the core mission of the UJ, teaching its students to be informed by Jewish values and to be leaders who seek justice in democratic ways and are cognizant of the global community of which we are a part.

I love this letter for many reasons but I will only comment on one -- "...Judaism, a tradition that warns of the destructive power of negative speech."

While Judaims does condemn the needless hurting of innocents in any form, via speech or behavior, the sacred texts of Judaism overflow with negative speech. God commands the Israelites in the Torah to commit genocide. That sounds negative to me. Male homosexuals and Sabbath stick-gatherers are condemned to death. Not nice.

The prophets in the Hebrew Bible castigate Israel in terms more vicious than Ann Coulter uses. In the Talmud, the rabbis frequently attack each other (not just ideas). As for the later rabbis, Ibn Ezra said that you would not find one rational explanation in Rashi out of a thousand. And so forth.

Jews, be they religious or secular, have long been known for their verbal violence. Ann Coulter's remarks about Latino waiters are innoc

I remember that during the second Intifada, much of my Orthodox community longed for the death of LAT Israeli correspondent Tracy something.

Usually when Jews invoke Judaism's prohibitions of lashon hara (evil speech), it is to put a stop to a type of hurtful speech that they don't like. But the very same people usually feel perfectly righteous in using hurtful speech to go after those they don't like. When invoked by those in power, "lashon hara" usually means "don't criticize me and my friends."

There are Jews who abide by Judaism's prohibitions of hurtful speech, but out of every ten Jews who invoke "lashon hara" to shut you up, about one in this ten practices this value in his own life.

There are plenty examples of hurtful speech worth condemning. I don't believe that these particular words of Coulter about the immigration rallies are worth getting excited about.

Audio (.wav) Files

Audio Kevin Roderick Interviews Los Angeles Times Editor Dean Baquet April 30, 2006

Audio Dr. Wafa Sultan, Syrian psychiatrist, speaks against Islam May 3, 2006 to the CSPC

Audio South Park Conservatives author Brian C. Anderson speaks to the CSPC

Audio Cathy Seipp debates David Brock on media bias Feb 7, 2006

Audio Cathy vs. David part two Feb 8, 2006

Audio LA Press Club debate May 11, 2006 about the implications of the "infamous Danish cartoons mocking the prophet Muhammad."

Audio Independent Film panel discussion April 30, 2006

Audio Actress Ericka Locket discusses her journey to Judaism.

Audio Audio Tom Sizemore interview about his spiritual journey. Oct 20, 2005.

Rabbi Mordecai Gafni Update

As of a year or so ago, I was banned from Stephen S. Wise temple. There was a picture of me in their guardhouse. Presumably, this was for what I had just published about their star teacher Mordecai Gafni. Stephen S. Wise rabbis and lay leaders vigorously defended Gafni and attacked those of us who revealed his unsavory behavior.

I was also personally attacked for my reporting on Gafni by Rabbis Joseph Telushkin, Saul Berman, Rabbi Shefa Gold, Stephen S. Marmer, MD, PhD [a leader at Stephen S. Wise temple], and Naomi Mark, ACSW. They wrote, in part (circa January 4, 2005):

The person who has partnered with Vicki in a number of unjustified and distortion-filled character assassinations has been Luke Ford, whom you have cooperated with as well, Rabbi [Yosef] Blau. Luke Ford is a discredited malicious gossip columnist for the pornography industry. He has made clear in his own writings that he does not check information, that he often reports information that is false, and that his definition of truth is that it expresses "the point of view" of the person telling him the information.

We find it shocking that you not only associate with Vicki Polin and Luke Ford, but that you are the major source of professional rabbinic credibility for Vicki Polin and the Awareness Center. Vicki Polin has written clearly that she only publishes materials from "reputable sources." It is difficult to imagine that under any definition Luke Ford's blog and reports would fit into that category.

Via phone or email or both, I reached out to rabbis Telushkin and Berman to discuss these issues. They would not speak to me.

I say to Joseph, Saul, Stephen, Naomi -- let God and judge between you and me on these matters.

Whose writing is more filled with "unjustified and distortion-filled character assassinations"? Which writers don't check their information? Who defines truth as the point of view of the person telling the information? Who is reputable in these matters and who is not?

Telushkin, Berman, Gold, Marmer, and Mark have no credibility in these things.

I'm not holding my breath for any apology from them, but it turns out that on Gafni and related issues, I was right and they were wrong. It was their mindset that helped keep people like Aron Tendler in positions of religious leadership for over two decades while (all the Orthodox religious leadership of Los Angeles knew what was going on and did nothing effective to stop it, that means you Rabbi Avraham Union, Rabbi Bess, Rabbi Nahum Sauer, Rabbi Shalom Tendler and any Orthodox figure in Los Angeles who considers himself a community leader) Aron was rubbing up against the ladies and using his rabbinic post to get laid.

I understand wanting to get laid. I understanding using your power to get laid. I'd love to be married and laid myself. My general beef is with Orthodox leaders who turn a blind eye to the predators among them. My particular beef is with Telushkin, Berman and company who go public to attack those who tell the truth about rabbinic predators.

If you want to be weak and do nothing about your fellow rabbis who are predators, that's one tihng. But why go to such efforts to attack those who've responsibly and accurately reported on the abhorrent behavior of your peers?

I wonder if Telushkin and Berman will publicly apologize for how publicly wrong they've been on these matters. I wonder if they've learned anything.

The Jewish Week's Editor Gary Rosenblatt broke the story on Gafni but he placed the focus on Gafni's behavior more than twenty years ago. By contrast, I focused on Gafni's ongoing creepy behavior.

In response, Rosenblatt told many people that I was an unreliable journalist and they should pay no attention to my work.

Well, let people now judge who did the most accurate and important work on Gafni - Gary or me.

From Jewschool.com, this email from Arthur Waskow:

Dear friends,

Once again we face the news that a position of spiritual leadership has been turned into a platform for sexual abuse.

I am sending you a statement issued Friday by Avraham Leader, head of the Board of Bayit Chadash in Israel a community dedicated to the spiritual renewal of Judaism..

The statement announces that its Board has just fired Rabbi Mordechai Gafni (its founder and chief teacher) because of his actions described in the formal depositions of four women, and the statements of others some who had been students and subordinate staff that he had had sexual relationships with them, and had sworn them to secrecy. Leader affirms his and the Board's conviction that the accusations are true.

I hardly need to say how sad, how angry, and how betrayed Gafni's behavior makes me feel And how much it raises questions once again about how to walk that thin line between spiritual ecstasy and the domineering frenzy that is not only damaging in itself but sometimes even leads to sexual abuse.

I am grateful that these women have come forward to say the truth.

There is a lot more to say. Some of it I will say below, after inserting here Avraham Leader s announcement so that we can all know what we are talking about.

I must share with you that yesterday women from our community filed complaints of sexual misconduct against Rabbi Mordechai Gafni with the police. I was aware of this situation because I had previously read the depositions that these women had declared to an attorney. I also personally heard the testimonies of these women, as well as that of another woman from
an institution where Rabbi Gafni previously worked. I shared my findings and recommendations with Jacob Ner-David, the chairman of our board; with Shantam Zohar, a Bayit Chadash teacher and leader; and with Or Zohar, a Bayit Chadash teacher and our CEO.

My colleagues agreed with me that in the present situation, we should recommend to the Bayit Chadash steering committee that Rabbi Gafni’s tenure in Bayit Chadash be ended immediately, or alternatively, we would collectively resign. After the members of the steering committee read some of the depositions, they decided to remove Rabbi Gafni from the Bayit Chadash staff. The decision of the steering committee was further reinforced in light of the complaints filed with the police.

Were this was a matter solely related to Rabbi Gafni’s private life, this would not be my concern, and certainly not that of the community. The problem is that this involves women from our community, staff members and students. Although these relationships were apparently consensual, it is our position that there is no place for relations like this between a rabbi and his students or between an employer and his employees. It would seem that this is also the opinion of Rabbi Gafni, since he swore all the women involved to eternal and absolute silence.

The women, however, decided to speak. I have no doubt that they speak truth, and willingly risk my personal credibility and integrity on my support of their testimony. I may add that my colleagues arrived at similar conclusions.

As to the criminal aspect of his actions, that is up to the police and the courts to decide. Beyond that, judgment is in the hands of the Judge of all the world.

The sense of disappointment is very great, for me personally as well. Mordechai always treated me with friendship and respect. At times like this our sages say that one should scrutinize one’s own actions, and meditate upon why one is part of such a story. Certainly there is much to learn from such a difficult and painful experience.

May we all see, fear and tremble, may healing to our shared soul come swiftly, and may this healing encompass all involved and all who are witness, in this and all worlds.

Avraham Leader, on behalf of Bayit Chadash
Iyar 14, 5766, the 29th day of the Omer, Friday, May 12, 2006

Back to me, Arthur Waskow:

There is a great deal we could do in all communities of spiritual depth – Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, no doubt others to prevent or minimize this deformation of the Spirit into an idol – an event that has happened in each of these traditions, and not just once.

Not only must the teachers who might fall into this idolatry be taught how to celebrate in joy but not in frenzy; those learners or on-staff subordinates who might fall into the role of victim also need to empower themselves to access their own inner rebbe,  not feel that the only rebbe-energy that they can access comes wrapped in domination.

And in this they need the help of the community in creating a culture that encourages each of us, all of us, to see ourselves as rebbes, able to be in touch with God.

Of course this involves not just theory or theology but also the real-life suffering of many people. (Truthful theology always flows from the lives of the people – the Images of God.)

Avraham Leader says on his own behalf and that of Bayit Chadash, At times like this our sages say that one should scrutinize one’s own actions, and meditate upon why one is part of such a story.

True enough. And I ask myself the same question. Mordechai Gafni taught at both ALEPH Kallot and at Elat Chayyim retreat center. Both organizations will need to respond in their own voices. What I know, having also taught and learned at both places, is that both have extremely strong and clear prohibitions on any sexual relationships between teachers, davvening leaders, and other such persons in positions of authority with any students, participants, etc. Those prohibitions are communicated not only to the teachers but to all participants.

When reports surfaced about Gafni having been an abuser 25 or so years ago – none till now ever surfaced about any occasions more recent – rigorous investigations went forward. Persons in leadership at Elat Chayyim deliberately interviewed women who were in a position to know whether Gafni was violating the ethics standards. No evidence surfaced that he was. Outside the sexual sphere, he was rebuked several times for behavior in classes that was domineering, and seemed to restrain himself thereafter.

I myself have been accused by a few people on the Internet of having defended him. What I did defend was a process for investigating allegations – a process that insisted on serious evidence, not second-hand or third-hand statements like I have been told that … I continue to believe that this is the only way to deal with any allegations of wrongdoing, including this kind.

And in this case, nothing emerged that indicated any problem less than 25 years old – and even those seemed unconfirmable.

It is true that there is an unusual problem in applying this standard in this kind of situation. Some or all of the women who have made statements in regard to his behavior at Bayit Chadash have said that Gafni swore them to secrecy — and they agreed, till now. The fusion of spiritual power and sexual abuse is liable to create such a situation when even people who might be thought to have every reason to reveal violations feel so overawed or so beloved by the abuser that they do not define what is happening as abuse, or are unwilling to talk about it.

So that means it is a lot harder to get the kind of evidence that can justify dismissal, etc. At Bayit Chadash, when such evidence did surface the institution responded. I am open to suggestions on how to act in some other way that as the tradition commands, will pursue justice, justice–pursue the ends of justice by using just means.

For some of my thoughts of how we might address and act on this whole matter of the relationships among spiritual leadership, sexual energy, and sexual abuse, see my essay on our Website (It was written years ago in response to a previous case, and of course I will continue to keep thinking and writing about this issue.)

May all those who are involved in this, the victims first and most of all and ultimately the perpetrator too find a healing that includes tzedek and mishpat, both restorative & transformative justice.

To use the Kabbalistic language about God's aspects or emanations not just Chesed (overflowing lovingkindness) and not just Gevurah (rigorous boundaries) and not just a balance between them but their profound synthesis in Tiferet / Rachamim, that womb-like, heart-like outpouring of life that is rooted in powerful boundaries, just as the powerful and strongly boundaried heart-muscle sends life-blood pouring through the body, and the powerful and strongly boundaried womb-muscle births new life into the world.

In setting forth this prayer, I do not mean to leave its fulfillment in the hands of God. Or rather, I do – in the sense that when human beings act in a holy way, they are indeed the hands of God.

Shalom,
Arthur

Reconstructionist Movement’s Well of Misandry

David Kelsey writes:

Non-Orthodox Jews are not just wrestling with an irreconcilable Patriarchy (and as long as there is circumcision for boys, it is irreconcilable), they are prioritizing it. And this constant–in your face—aspect of the struggle can be exhausting and alienating to many men. The constant jostling for greater gender parity frequently can feel like you are attempting to find a place on an express train during rush hour. And very few dare to even raise the issue. Only halacha is an acceptable complication bring as a possible objection.

Photos/Video Of Wife Caught In Adultery Ruled Inadmissable By Israeli Supreme Court

Jeffrey Woolf, a professor at Bar Ilan, writes:

Chief Justice Barak and Deputy Chief Justice Beinish were overruled by their colleagues, in a clear signal that when it comes down to it, when Jewish State collides with Post-Modern Liberal State, most justices will vote for the latter.

Then, the Supreme court rejected a ruling of both the regional and supreme rabbinical courts. The court ruled as inadmissible photos and testimony of a wife, in flagrente delecto, committing adultery. The rationale was violation of the right to privacy. The striking thing is that this is a classic case of where secular law and Halakhah, prima facie, cannot co-exist. If the testimony is acceptable, the Supreme Court would appear to be in violation of the rights of the husband who, by law, must divorce his wife.

Conversion, The Rabbinate and David Landau versus Modern Orthodoxy

ADDRabbi has, what I think is, the best interpretation of the current efforts by the Rabbinate to delegitimize the entire Modern Orthodox Rabbinate (including YU, RIETS, the OU and of course the RCA and its Bes Din). I urge anyone who's interested or affected by this business to read his posting and follow the highly instructive links he provides.

What has this to do with David Landau? It actually has quite a bit to do with him, though indirectly. Landau, a native of England and a graduate of the premier hareidi yeshivot, is the Editor-in-Chief of Haaretz. He is an articulate, highly intelligent person. He is also a committed Leftist, which has earned him the opprobrium of much of the Religious Zionist community.

My LA Weekly Photo Shoot

pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic

The blonde is Penthouse Pet of the Year Jamie Lynn. The brunette is Cassia Riley, the POY runner-up. The black girl is Eve Mayfair.

A Modern Orthodox journalist writes: "Now, be honest -- wouldn't [Cassia Riley, the brunette] look so much better in a helmet-shaped wig and grungy ankle-length blue-jean skirt that looks like it hasn't seen the inside of a washing machine since around the time Monica first inhaled Bill's cigar? Luke, why do so many Orthodox young women look so unkempt and, well, smelly? I attended an Orthodox Feminist convention a few years ago and a good number of the attendees were almost defiantly ugly. And many of those who weren't pug ugly were about the most unfeminine creatures ever created (presumably) without penises. Is the word "frum" a derivative of "frumpy"?"

Women in business suits are my thing.

"Well, women in business suits are about the only women who still wear pantyhose, and there's nothing that makes a pair of legs look both elegant and feminine at the same time. It's amazing how quickly these trends take hold -- as recently as, say, 2000, nylons were still considered an essential in every woman's wardrobe. Almost overnight it changed. I've been at weddings where the girls were almost all bare-legged, and some even wore flip-flops. Nothing says "do me" like pasty-white legs and rubber shoes hinting of toe cheese and flaking heels."

Chaim Amalek writes:

ON THE ONE HAND: If you go into Borrough Park in Brooklyn, you see tons of young jewish mothers who are fit, trim, and pushing kids around in baby carriages. ON THE OTHER HAND: Feminists, be they Jewish or other, are almost by definition harridans who have been rejected by the society of men "Orthodox Feminist" sounds vomitous Fat, blubbery, rubbery, Craigslist and JDate rejects. "DO I CHALLENGE YOU? DO YOU FEAR ME, JEWISH MAN?"

I really like the black chick.

> She's sweet, smart, good grammar, and in love with another man.

Yeah, she should breed. Tell her I urge her to breed.

Well, if she told you that, why would you think you are going to be getting any of that?

> Triumph of hope. David Ben Gurion said that if you don't believe in miracles, you're not being realistic.

Stick to crank skanks. Any comments from these chicks on your estate? These are really hot pics. Taps into primordeal male fantasy of super hot babe sitting on the floor of a regular joe's hovel.

Luke: I got outrageous pics for the photographer of me in a black suit, white shirt, tie, while these three girls paw at me, pull my tie, sit on my lap. But my concentration on my studies did not waver as I once again turned my back on worldly pleasures to ponder the eternal verities.

Not once did any of these beautiful women (nor the photographer) make any negative comments about my hovel -- which is more than I can say for two-thirds of the dates I've brought over, some have insisted on turning around and leaving as soon as possible. Others who stayed would complain that they always left with bruises (not having a bed and all that).

I had to walk the girls (Jamie Lynn, Penthouse Pet of the Year, Cassia Riley POY runner-up, and Eve Mayfair) wearing lingerie past my landlady and then down to Pico Blvd Thursday morning. Cars were honking, stopping, people pouring out of stores and gaping and whistling and making comments and wanting to be in the picture. I have not experienced such horror since the evening Holly told me I was not her first lover.

A cynical worldly person emails me:

"Yeah I’d like to see Eve, if she’s young, fresh and fine maybe she’s Pet material.

"Oh please since when do you care about ethnic balance, are you getting a BJ out of this, you can tell me the truth. Jewish boys do LOVE the dark meat, they love black booty."

>Those of us in the observant community do not touch women outside of marriage.

"The girls were great. Very professional. They brought plenty of clothes, their make-up was great (they even touched up Luke a bit), and they shot incredibly well. A great experience."

"Yeah sometimes a little mascara really brings out the intensity of Luke’s eyes, I’m glad the girls could be of assistance!

"Funny because Jewish men seem to really, really, really love JBs even more than the average man. And by the way, none of my girls are flakey no shows, this is Penthouse Magazine and we’re quality people of our word. You’re so used to all the skanks who are up all night doing crank and don’t make it anywhere. I bet my girls were on time and everything [15-minutes early!]. Just so you know for the future my word is SOLID.

"You’re a pretty good man Mr. Ford even though you’re Australian. I can say that you’re the only Australian person I’ve ever been fond of and befriended. But if you were a blood jew, you’d be all into the sistas."

Chaim writes: "What are all those pill bottles by your tv?"

Those are my medications. It's not easy to turn out a column like this without pharmacological help (in addition to natural remedies). The yellow boxes by the microwave are Dr. Natura's colon cleanser.

Chaim writes: "If you post that those are your HIV meds, you will be believed."

I like the Pets equally. Jamie is sweeter and more goyisha, Cassia is more profane and Jewish. I had to keep asking her to watch her language. She was yelling out the f-word and I feared my landlady or neighbors would hear and there would go my reputation.

"OMG I know what a potty mouth! I’m going to buy her a surprise over the weekend, a tee shirt that says “f--- you, you f---ing f---.” If you go on her my space is all giving the middle finger. That’s her signature posed, the middle finger, while Jamie’s is the eyebrow arch. I love them both equally though. And they truly love each other too."

Jamie’s wilder in the bedroom than Cassia, it's all talk with her, Jamie’s really the dominant.

The photographer and the girls wanted some music so I played my AOL favorites -- a mix of Debbie Gibson, John Denver and Christian hymns -- while the girls gyrated around me. They were a good sport. They made no criticisms. They saw the good in my poverty.

Pete writes: "Luke, The girls dressed up your hovel very nicely. Cassia is mind-boggling and I find the profane side of her charming. One thing is puzzling me...like Cougar in Top Gun, I've lost the edge. You're on fire, young man."

I spend 30 minutes cleaning up my hovel.

Photographer Kevin Scanlon (he shoots a lot for the Jewish Journal) shows up 25-minutes early, which is cool. He's a slight friendly chap. He looks around my hovel. So many possibilities. We bring in his lighting equipment.

The Penthouse Pets arrive at 9:45 am. I sneak them past my landlady. Cassia's sweats ride down her butt. Jamie's finishing off a cigarette.

They dump their bags of lingerie by my bookshelves and stuff themselves into my tiny bathroom and put on make-up. These girls are troopers. They make no complaints about their appalling working conditions. Really, Mexicans fresh out of the Rio Grande live better than I do. They work harder though.

I'm nervous, jumpy, in my black undertake suit.

Eve arrives at 10 am.

I email Lainie Speiser at Penthouse for permission to take a few pics of my own.

I arrange my four books on my shelf.

I'm relieved that the three girls get along. Jamie refers to Cassia as her wife.

Cassia's had two weeks off.

In the Valley, they live near each and Martina Warren and Charlie Lane.

I wish I had my taperecorder on to capture the chitchat but that might inhibit my models.

One complains (I better not say who, she told me not to publish this) repeatedly about cellulite that neither I nor the photographer can detect.

Kevin assures the girl that no photo will leave his computer unless it shows them at their best.

I like using my relationship (or ex-relationship with Holly) to establish rapport with models. It helps for models to see me as a human being who's been able to establish a genuine friendship within the industry and doesn't just use every human encounter (only 99.9% of them) as fodder for his column.

People are not fodder. When will I internalize that value?

Cassia and Jamie are a riot. They love each other. They raise hell together. Cassia has a booming voice. I have to shush her. What will the neighbors think?

Eve is demure. Her emails are superb. Everything is spelled and punctuated correctly, so rare in a porn chick. She worked in offices in San Francisco for four years prior to entering Adult.

She's in love with a white guy. Most of her boys have been white. She likes to be a white boy's first black girl.

The Jewish Press (Orthodox Weekly) Publishes A Dirty Joke

Arnold Fine writes in the April 28, 2006 issue:

Two old-timers met on the street. One said, "Sam, I haven't seen you in years. Where have you been?"

The second old-timer said, "I've been in jail."

"In jail? What for?" his friend asked.

"I was accused of rape."

"You? Rape? You're 85 years old. What are you talking about?"

The old man sighed, "I was walking down the street when this beautiful young girl sees me and scream, 'Rape...Rape.'"

"Then what happened?"

"A cop came and arrested me."

"What happened then?"

"I pleaded guilty. I was so proud!"

....

The Jewish Press Editor Jason Maoz writes in the May 5 issue: "A number of readers have taken us to task - and rightly so - for the joke... This obviously was a temporary lapse in judgment on the part of Mr. Fine coupled with a breakdown in editorial oversight. We apologize to all who were offended."

I love these apologies to those who are offended. Jason sounds like Justin Timberlake after he exposed Janet Jackson's breast (I was interviewing a Reform female rabbinical student while it was happening and I kept my composure and proceeded with the interview as though nothing had happened) during the Super Bowl halftime show and later called it a wardrobe malfunction.

"I am sorry if anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance at the Super Bowl," Timberlake said. "It was not intentional and is regrettable."

I don't think you should ever apologize to people just because they were offended by something you said or did. If you said or did something wrong, then you should say it was wrong and if need be, explain why it was wrong. If you did something that was not wrong and people got offended, then unless it is a friend and you want to salve their feelings, it's just tough.

So I would've dropped the last five words and left it as "We apologize."

Frankly, I would've chuckled if Jason had responded: "I wrote it. I meant it. I'm the old man rapist in the story. And I'm glad."

A friend writes: "That Jewish Press joke is shocking. Not too many things in the media can fit that description anymore."

The Open Source Legal Motion (Wald v. Ford)

My attorney Justin Levine blogs:

How would you like to take part in what some are calling “Hollywood’s most bizarre and potentially important lawsuit”? How would you like to make history by being part of an effort to further push the legal profession into the Internet age? How would you like to test your own legal and debating skills against seasoned attorneys in Tinseltown?

Now you can do it! And the best part is, you don’t need a law degree. You don’t even need to be over 18. Anyone can participate, and no specific time commitment in necessary!

Welcome to the Open Source Legal Motion – a groundbreaking experiment to harness the collective force of the Internet to help improve legal motions that will be filed in real cases.

Here is the gist of how it works –

I will post a first rough draft of a motion that I am working on in the case of Wald v. Ford. You (or anyone else) can read it, comment on it, and give me feedback. Maybe you can rewrite some passages to make it better. Maybe you can come up with some theories, arguments, or legal authorities that I haven’t. Maybe you can provide the best counter-arguments on the other side that will allow me to anticipate the other side’s response and be better prepared to deal with them. Maybe you simply want to help out with my grammar, punctuation, or case citation formats in order to make the motion better stylistically speaking.

Anyone who ends up contributing an original improvement to the final product that is both tangible and identifiable will be given credit both on the pages of this blog as well as in either a footnote or page attachment on the court motion itself.

Tell your friends. I encourage anyone to participate. Law students, kids, professors, attorneys, bloggers, Luke Ford fans, anyone. Whatever your motivation is, I want to hear your ideas. Even if you think my client’s case is weak and you would vote for the Plaintiff, I want to hear why.

I consider myself to be someone who knows a fair amount about defamation law and has had some extensive experience in the area of libel defense. But as the Internet and blogs have proven – you don’t need to be a so-called “expert” in order to improve upon works done by “professionals”. Maybe I’m too close to the situation to see some potentially better arguments out there. Maybe a layman just happens to study the “opinion defense” in libel law as a strange hobby and therefore knows about some obscure but powerful case law that I haven’t come across. Maybe they think the entire motion is bunk and would like to rewrite the entire thing from scratch – thinking that their version would be better. Maybe you don’t know much about the law, but are simply a better a writer than me and can fashion a more sublimely crafted argument based on the building blocks I provide. Maybe I'm full of crap and really don't know as much as I think I do and you can help point that out to me. The possibilities are wide open….

A Prisoner Of X

The former editor of Hustler reads from his book Friday, 7:30 p.m. at Skylight Books on 1818 North Vermont Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90027. He reads to the LA Press Club the evening of May 18.

Allan (MySpace) calls me Wednesday morning.

More than a decade ago, he struck fear into the industry while he was writing as "Christian Shapiro."

Then the years went by and hardly anybody talked about Hustler any more. Not inside the industry (where people mainly talked about AVN and the internet) and not outside the industry.

Between 1995-98, many people in porn hated Mike Albo, the Editor of Hustler Erotic Video Guide.

Luke: "How did your life change after you left Hustler? Suddenly you are not going into the office every day. Suddenly there's this huge blank in your schedule. How did you change?"

Allan: "I slept better. I look better. I seem happier. I'd meet people a year later and I'd have a lot of anxiety because I haven't got a career going. I'll run into people and they'll say, 'Man, you look better than ever.'

"A lot of weight was lifted from my shoulders.

"I'm not saying that Hustler was any worse than any other job of that calibre. You have a lot of people working under you. You have a lot of expectations on you. There'd been a lot of strain for years.

"I don't mind the void. For the last couple of years, there was a lot of headache. Now I don't have that headache. It's great except for the anxiety about how I'm going to make a buck."

Luke: "What feedback did your wife [Theresa] give you about leaving Hustler?"

Allan: "She was supportive. She'd sensed that I had burned out on it, not because of the sexual material. Any kind of material, working on it that long, you would've burned out. I burned out because I worked hard for a long time. She noticed the change in me immediately. I became easier to live with.

"She's getting a little impatient for me to figure out how to get some money coming in. She has a lot of faith in me and the world that something good is happening.

"She's been a really great support to me except for when we fight."

Luke: "Are you an easy person to live with?"

Allan: "Probably not. I'm not that bad. I'm subject to circumstances. If circumstances are not good to me, I recede within myself and I'm not responsive. For the most part, I have a cynical optimism. This is going to sound like a big surprise to people who've worked for me, because I was known for being temperamental and flying off the handle, but things don't bother me to the level they might bother other people.

"But she's not that easy to live with either. She's wonderful. She's a strong personality. I'm a strong personality. I need a strong personality to be with."

Luke: "You and God?"

Allan: "I'm not an atheist. I have no conception of what God might be like. I have no interest in creating some image for myself of what God is, but I do feel I have been very blessed and very lucky throughout my life. I can look back and see dozens of times where I was in somebody's pocket. I feel it now. It's something I don't understand, that's beyond me, beyond my conception, that has my best interests at heart, with a wisdom beyond anything I could know.

"I don't have any theology. I'm open to reading about it in other people. I don't disbelieve hardly anyone."

Luke: "But you feel like there might have been some divine contact with your life?"

Allan: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. At different times."

Luke: "Is that a humbling experience?"

Allan: "I don't like the word 'humbling' because I equate it with humiliation. It's comforting that there's some kind of divine presence that is going to carry me through this life and into whatever happens later.

"I think about dying a lot like anybody would. I have no idea about what's going to happen but I have a feeling that whatever has been carrying me through this life does not end when this life ends.

"Let me give you an example. My girlfriend Frankie and I got a dog from the Glendale pound. The dog was going to be killed within hours. The dog was a problem dog. It would lunge at people and snarl at people and snap at people. We kept him. We were consistent with him. We loved this dog and he loved us. I had him for eleven more years. He had this whole life that was very rich for a dog because I extended myself and brought him in.

"When I think about that when I'm having all these worries -- what is going to happen with my health? What is going to happen with the wife? I'm not that powerful of a person but I completely changed this dog's life.

"This God that I experience is far more powerful than me. If I can shelter this dog, who am I to doubt that I am in good hands."

Luke: "Are you sure that the sexually explicit material that you immersed yourself in for 20 years did not take a unique toll?"

Allan: "I got tired of it in a way that I would not have got tired of it if I had worked at a general interest magazine.

"I enjoyed working on the layouts in Hustler. I'd see people who it bothered to look at that [material] and it would drive them out quickly. But because I liked it, it took a long time for me to become tired of it.

"I was interviewed on NPR. It's going to run this Sunday. The interviewer asked me this same question and I was very defensive about admitting that perhaps I burned out on the sexual material. I felt that they might corral me into an admission that the material had some longterm negative effect on me, which I believe it has not.

"In the book, I state that you see too much of this stuff, you doubt reality and I was plagued by visions of anus. I denied my own book to not get pushed into this corner.

"I did burn out on the material but to the end there was the occasional thing that I would like. I got tired of seeing the same crap over and over. The same poses. Occasionally one of the models or one of the photographers would still charm me. But it did not have a negative effect on my own sexuality. All the way through, I was very interested in sex. I am very interested in sex. I am just not interested in porn. If I look at advertisements, in Vanity Fair or wherever, my eyes still go to women.

"I've looked at one porn tape since I got fired [almost four years ago]. We watched it twice. Joanna's Angels."

Luke: "Did you enjoy it?"

Allan: "Yes. It was great. It was all natural breasts. It was the Suicide-type girls with the tattoos. They're avid about what they're doing. The sex is good. Evidently Joanna Angel is in charge of the production. It's got a lot going for it.

"Some people think porn is addictive. When I got fired, I had no withdrawal symptoms."

Luke: "Christian Shapiro has written about the soul-destroying nature of pornography."

Allan: "I keep hearing that about my Apocalypse Culture piece, but I thought that piece was more about how society as a whole was degrading itself. That pornography might seem like that people wanted to degrade themselves and expose themselves to degradation... Reality TV had not yet started but there were all these talkshows that people go on and revel in their own misconduct. I argued that society as a whole was as degrading as pornography if not more so.

"With all this reality TV, with everything that people put themselves through to get attention, my feeling is that a large part of the entertainment industry is a degrading industry. The drive for attention leads people to degrade themselves and there's a huge enabling network that's profiting on it."

Luke: "Do you feel a teeny bit protective of the industry or the choice you made to be in it?"

Allan: "A bit. You read the book. I'm not a cheerleader for porn. Obviously some people made the wrong choice to be in that. On the other hand, I've known a lot of people who thrived in it."

Luke: "You talk about porn the same way you talked about it while you were editor at Hustler. You're talking about it now a little differently than the way you wrote about it in the book."

Allan: "Am I? In what ways? When I was questioned at NPR, the interviewer kept trying to edge me back. I felt like I was in therapy. I'd want to talk about something else and the therapist would say, 'What about this?' The therapist wasn't trying to corner me or contradict me but to ease me towards...

"I was talking to my wife, 'Why couldn't I just say, 'I burned out on it'?'"

Luke: "You don't want to sound bitter about porn and your choice of being in it for 20 years."

Allan: "Occasionally you'll get someone who comes out and renounces it."

Luke: "You'll bend over backwards not to do that."

Allan: "Yeah. I got to do a lot of things. It gave me a lot of chances. I worked in this company and rose from assistant copy editor to making a lot of editorial decisions and artistic decisions. I got to meet a lot of people I would not have been able to meet otherwise. I wrote this book. I don't want to seem like I am renouncing what I did. I'm still very proud of a lot of the stuff I wrote and published. Within this medium, we were working as well as anyone could.

"I'm not sure that burning out is a negative effect. It's a message that it is time for you to do something else. A negative effect would be something with lasting repercusions that would effect my personal relationships, turn me into a raving sex predator..."

Luke: "How many people do you remember from the industry who had lasting relationships? There are so few lasting relationships in this industry, and I'm not only talking about performers."

Allan: "Four I can think of -- Jim Kohls, Larry Flynt, Bruce David and myself."

Luke: "Why didn't you name Bruce in your book?"

Allan: "There were a whole bunch of guys who were the same guy to me. I just dumped them all together. I didn't want to single one person out."

Luke: "You were pretty gentle in not naming people."

Allan: "I named people who were public. There were people who were more private or people I worked with on the political thing. The contractor we hired [in 1998 LFP hired investigative journalist Dan Moldea who was public about his participation but Allan does not use him name], he didn't want his name on. I felt like I committed to him to not put his name in there. It wouldn't gain me anything. There was another guy when we did the abortion thing who didn't want his name in there. The two journalists who did the research for us in Texas. They were always anonymous. I honored that. The guy I called Features [David Buchbinder] is working for the Christian Science Monitor. He's working for something along the lines of the peace corps. He doesn't need to have his connection with Hustler brought up."

Luke: "You could've been a lot more vicious."

Allan: "I could've been a lot more vicious. In various drafts, I was a lot more vicious. We went through this thing eight times. There'd be entire sections I wrote just to show that I was smarter than this other person. As a person who's not related to you reads through, he's put off by that. It didn't help whatever narrative momentum I had. I excised a lot of that and I'm glad I did. If I saw something that was just me settling some score, who's interested in that?"

Luke: "Me."

Allan: "But the wider audience does not care. You want them on your side but you do it by baring yourself. You have to treat the other people like you treat yourself."

Luke: "What was your relationship like with Mike Albo and how did he react to his section of the book?"

Allan: "I like Mike Albo. Initially, I was opposed to his hiring [as Editor of Hustler Erotic Video Guide]. Reb [Sawitz, porn agent] recommended him, but I felt like I was being railroaded on this guy. I wanted to hire David Aaron Clark at Screw or some other guy who worked at Screw. They were great writers, which Albo also was. The other two guys didn't want it, so we got Albo.

"Once I met Albo, I was just charmed by him. I loved that guy. We were colleagues. Eventually, I got promoted to Editorial Director of LFP Publications. He was working for me. He was very smart. He was volatile. He had some volatile relationships with people in porn. I always had a nice relationship with him."

Luke: "Wasn't there some concern at LFP about him calling up people and leaving death threats?"

Allan: "I didn't know he was leaving death threats. People would call him and leave amazing threats. Those are the ones I heard. You'd go, 'Wow, Mike, you need to back off. Take it down a notch or two.'

"After I stopped writing porn reviews, I realized our audience was fans of the people we were writing about. They were enthused about this stuff. The harsher descriptions I had been doing as Christian Shapiro, perhaps they should be done more judiciously. With Mike, I felt there was a bit of slagging on the porn industry that, especially for his magazine, were contrary to our best interests and to the porn industry's best interests. I talked to him about softening some of that. He was receptive to what I said. He would have these personality conflicts with people that got out of hand."

Luke: "How much heat did you take for his stuff?"

Allan: "I didn't take any. [LFP leader] Jim Kohls would direct it right at Albo. I talked to Jim a lot and he knew what I was trying to do to best serve the magazine. When the heat came, it went directly to Mike."

Mike Albo (now managing editor of AVN Online magazine, he's causing no waves at AVN or within the industry) and company composed (in early 1997) a list of the industry's most powerful people that caused a furious reaction when many industry leaders heard about it. There was talk about getting Albo fired. The industry leaders feared that such a list would give the government better targets. About two years after it was first composed, a version of the list was published in Hustler. Many of the selections were screwball, just to mess with Albo's enemies such as Jim Holliday (leaving him off the list in favor of virtual unknown historian Sam Stetson).

Luke: "Mike wrote some great vicious stuff."

When I read something he wrote about me to my therapist, she collapsed in laughter because of its accuracy.

When my friends and I want to signify that something is not for publication, we flag it "Mike Albo."

Allan: "He was great. There was a lot of creativity in his work."

Luke: "How did he like what you wrote about him?"

Allan: "He's accepted it. I showed it to him in a draft. If it was going to offend him or hurt his feelings, I would've changed the name and changed some characteristics so he could've had plausible denial."

Luke: "I figured that because he liked and respected you, he was fine with it."

Allan: "I think he thought it was funny. We know each other well enough that we make fun of each other. I love Mike Albo. He's a great guy. A little volatile. He never focused any of that on me."

Luke: "Tell me about Jim Kohls."

Allan: "I enjoyed working with Jim [who now owns Pulse Distributors]. He was a very reasonable person. Sometimes, like Larry, he'd get hard-headed about something. You could always use reason on Jim. If he didn't go along with you, he had a reason. You then had a choice -- do I want to go along with Jim's vision of how to make this company more profitable or do I want to sulk? It's best not to sulk.

"Most people who've gone through LFP will complain that they were grossly underpaid and are somewhat bitter. I ended up getting well-paid [circa $150,000 a year at best is my guess though Allan won't say] because of my cooperation with Jim Kohls. We worked out policies where I would get paid for freelance stuff. My salary was very low [$70,000 per annum at best is my guess]. When I got started [as editor] of Hustler, I got paid less than $40,000 per year.

"Scott Schalin worked for us. He got stolen away [along with Evan Wright] by Seth Warshavsky. When that happened, LFP realized there were some key people who needed raises.

"Jim seemed to appreciate the amount of effort I put in as editor. When I'd make a mistake that had a temporary effect on distribution, he'd realize that I was attempting to follow the vision of early Hustler that was set up by Larry Flynt to maintain the integrity of the magazine and keep the core audience.

"I haven't spoken to Jim since I got fired. I was surprised that I've never heard from him but then I've never called him."

Luke: "What did your [LFP income] top off at?"

Allan: "You've had it in there before but I'd rather not say, but it was pretty good."

Luke: "You were a good corporate soldier. You were a team player. You were an organization man. You worked with concern for the good of the porn industry."

Allan: "It wasn't just that I did what my bosses said. My bosses, after a point, started asking, 'What do you think?' They would take into account what I thought about things. I had influence on policies. It was a collaborative thing. I wanted what was best for Hustler magazine. I loved it.

"There's a perception by people who haven't read the book that it's all about how much I hated working there but I loved working there. We were presenting a viewpoint that's sorely under-represented in the American media -- my viewpoint. Luckily, my viewpoint and Larry's viewpoint were very similar. We had a similar view on the structure of society and where the inequities are. What should be made fun of and what should be praised.

"Being a good corporate soldier, I take it as a compliment. It's a strong quality for someone if you're going to be working for a company that you feel that way.

"I had much of myself involved in making this product the best it could be and not just some tossed off thing, though for most people buying the magazine, it was a tossed off thing.

"You wanted to think that you were creating this thing for an audience somewhat like yourself. I hired people who were somewhat like me. And then all the feedback was from people, ohmigod. What am I doing? Why am I bothering?"

Luke: "You write about starting your car and wondering whether or not to raise your garage door?"

Allan: "I got discouraged at the end. I was very depressed. If you work at a job for 20 years, you are going to get tired of it. There were aspects of it that were quite annoying to me. The political aspects were very annoying. I thought Larry should've protected me from them.

"At the end, there were three different factions conspiring on their own and together to get me out. I don't know what they were telling Larry but I know it wasn't true. It's been proven subsequently by what's happened with these people.

"Whatever they were telling him, I thought Larry should've been able to see through it. Even though I was burning out, I was still a very loyal person. I was still very committed to trying to keep Hustler vital and the company vital and he should've cut me a break.

"When you sense people trying to undercut you, you have to address issues with Larry that you anticipate they'll try to discredit you with so Larry knows you've run it through. You can't bring it up directly because that makes you look like you're paranoid.

"That is time-consuming. It takes a lot of energy. And it's just annoying. Particularly when you're working on a men's magazine and that particular niche of the market is getting harder to sell. You have to figure out how to reach out to new readers when they have so many more options.

"At one point, I just stopped my sly rebuttals. I would see what a photographer was taking, and I'd say, 'Larry, if you want this, go with it. I'm done defending myself against being defamed.'

"At the same time, I've got this guy in Afghanistan. People are being murdered. In my mind, he's an innocent. If I had had Evan Wright over there, I would never have worried about Evan Wright because he's streetwise, while this guy was a do-gooder. That was a continuous source of anxiety for me. I was afraid I was going to have to meet his mother at his funeral. I saw that tape of Daniel Pearl being murdered. That had a big effect on me.

"The morale was bad."

Luke: "How close did you come to committing suicide?"

Allan: "Not very close. It was just something to divert me, to amuse myself. I have black humor. You can see it in my writing. I have it when I talk to myself too. It's an indulgence, a form of masturbation."

Luke: "Was Hustler worthy of your love and loyalty?"

Allan: "Yeah, why not? It was the venue I had. No one else had hired me. I was predisposed to it. When I first started working there, I'd read 'Asshole of the Month' and think, 'This is me. I want to write 'Asshole of the Month.' That became my big ambition. Eventually I wrote it every month for ten years. Yeah, I think it was.

"I had a movie agent who read my book and said, 'You were too good for that magazine.' I like hearing that. It's flattering. At the same time, that was the magazine that suited my frame of mind.

"Now, if I was so great, why aren't people lining up to recruit me?

"I'd hire people with decent degrees and they would come in and you could tell that they thought they were too good and they'd give half-effort. Those people either shaped up or they didn't last.

"I used to tell people that David Mamet used to write girl copy for Oui [magazine]. If someone wrote something that I could tell was half-assed, I'd tell them, 'Do you think David Mamet half-assed his girl copy for Oui?'

"Obviously David Mamet was way too good for Oui. But I believe that when he worked there, he wrote some great girl copy."

Luke: "How many friends did you keep from porn?"

Allan: "None.

"I didn't make a lot of friends in porn. I was good friends with Greg Dark for quite a while and then we both got really busy and fell out of contact.

"I saw him at the Grove around Christmas but I had bad laryngitis. I thought to myself, 'That guy looks like Greg Dark. It is Greg.' I [croaked], 'Greg, Greg.' When he couldn't hear me, by the time I realized I really wanted to talk to him, he moved into the crowd. I went running after him like in a movie but was unable to locate him.

"A lot of people I worked with, I'm still in contact with."

Luke: "What are the implications that you made no friends in porn?"

Allan: "I was isolated at Flynt in a way that was perhaps deliberate. I would meet people but I was sorta like a journalist covering them. I was never that intimate with them. I didn't get girlfriends out of the porn industry. I didn't hang out except with Greg."

Luke: "You write that your relationship with Greg was mutually beneficial?"

Allan: "Yeah, plus I liked Greg a lot. Greg's hilarious."

Luke: "Yeah, I like Greg a lot too, but he used you and you used him."

Allan: "To some extent. Even beyond that, we had a good time with each other. But then he got really busy with the rock videos."

Luke: "Do you think Larry Flynt had sex with at least one of his daughters [Tonya Flynt-Vega]?"

Allan: "I have no idea. I can't imagine it. The girl who made the accusation seemed like a troubled person."

Luke: "Did you insult Islam to the degree you insulted Christianity?"

Allan: "Maybe a little bit here and there. We didn't have a reverse jihad going. We would insult individuals than a religion. One of those individuals was Jesus Christ but I feel that Jesus Christ has a good sense of humor. He might've enjoyed the 'What Would Jesus Do?' thing we did. The old joke about M&Ms -- They don't melt in Jesus's hands because they fall through the holes."

Luke: "You understand the deeper meaning behind the question? That you can insult Christians and their god with impugnity."

Allan: "We insulted a number of [Muslims]. We insulted the Mullah behind the first World Trade Center bombing [in 1993]. I don't know how we would've handled the [Mohammed cartoon controversy of a few months back]."

Luke: "What effect did working at Hustler have on your social life?"

Allan: "Not bad. Before Hustler, I worked at Slash magazine. The people my wife and I know are askance from the mainstream. For most of them, it was never an issue. People would meet me and realize I would not be inappropriately slobbering on his wife. They'd judge me on my own.

"My friends are public defenders, teachers, lawyers, people in the garment and music industries... To them I was doing something interesting."

Luke: "The way you speak is completely different from the way articles were Hustlerized under your reign."

Allan: "Well, yeah."

Luke: "A guy would turn in a regular journalistic article and it would get Hustlerized. All articles while you were editor got Hustlerized."

Allan and his editors would change the adjectives to make them more shocking. Porn stars would become "porn whores" or "porn sluts." Women were usually referred to in demeaning terms.

Various people (including Tony Lovett, Editor of AVN Online magazine) who wrote for Hustler would keep their original article in their portfolio as well as the version published in Hustler.

"Hustler would rewrite their writers horribly to fit the company manifesto -- that women were dirt," says a former Hustler writer. "Women are nothing but sex objects."

Allan: "We competed to come up with different ways that were shocking. We liked to make language shocking. It was fun. It was what we did. If you are with a like-minded person, that's how you entertain one another. Or if you want to appall somebody...with that kind of vocabulary.

"I know who I am and I know who the Hustler personna was.

"The article on the handicapped? Was that a sex play about having sex with handicapped people?"

Luke: "It was about the sex lives of handicapped people. I didn't read the actual [Hustler] article. I read the account of the author who said he turned in a straight journalistic piece and then when it came out, it was Hustlerized and all the people he had talked to and told he was doing a serious piece were upset. And he was upset."

Allan: "A lot of the articles were generated within our editorial area. I can understand how for somebody coming from the outside, that would've been a jolt. We had to get a salacious element into everything.

"The way the template went for sex plays was you'd start off with a scenario illustrating what you were going to talk about. You'd have someone having sex with a handicapped person. You'd sensationalize it. You'd think about the jerk-off reader and try to grab that guy. Then perhaps you'd get some real information coming and you'd perhaps get to see a new viewpoint. I can understand how that would offend someone who turned it in."

Luke: "Did you make any apologies to anyone after you left Hustler for what you did at Hustler?"

Allan: "Not that I can think of. I would never apologize to anyone I wrote an Asshole of the Month about."

Allan did one about me in the Holiday issue of 1999 and I'd never expect an apology for it. I feel it was an honor to be selected for Allan's poison pen.

Allan: "There may have been inadvertent times when someone's feelings were hurt or the writer mistakenly believed that a straight dry piece of journalism would fit in with the Hustler format.

"I can't really picture things that I have to apologize for. Things where I deliberately set out [to slam someone] or were deliberate parodies or were deliberately set out to mock somebody, I'm not going to apologize for them. 'Oh sorry, I should've been a nicer person.'"

I asked a former writer for Hustler for his thoughts on Allan. He replies: "I have no printable thoughts on MacDonell."

Luke: "How possible is it to have an open discussion on race and how successful do you think you were at Hustler pushing forward this open discussion?"

Allan: "Race is one of the biggest dilemmas in this country. It's difficult on any level of medium, whether it is refined academics, or left-wing opinion makers or right-wing opinionmakers, it's an inflammatory subject. It's beyond opinion. People are emotionally attached to their positions. It's very much an emotional rather than an intellectual topic in this country."

Luke: "Honest discussion of race is more taboo than pornography?"

Allan: "Yes. You can be friends with someone from another race, but then if you try to talk to the person about racial issues, you can endanger your friendship.

"As for Hustler, I don't think we helped at all."

Luke: "What happens when you try to get work as a writer since you've left Hustler? What reactions do you get?"

Allan: "I've gotten a little bit of acceptance but I don't have the persistence I need. It would be easy for me to say that it's because of Hustler that people won't accept me but a lot of it is just that I have not followed up enough.

"I got two years of free-lance from MrSkin. They paid me well. I wrote a lot of biographies and a lot of movie reviews. The difference with what I wrote at Hustler is that everything for MrSkin is positive. You are not there to critique them. You are there to say here's the nude scene. You don't want to alienate the people who are supplying you with grabs, the material of your success.

"If someone is looking up a particular actress, he doesn't want to hear your opinion that she can't act or that her tits are sagging. He likes her. Whether it's Rosie O'Donnell or Selma Hayek, they're both great."

Luke: "What are the blocks you have to go through to write non-porn for mainstream publications?"

Allan: "There is stigma from Hustler. There is a big resistance. When I first got fired, about three weeks after I got fired, there was an interview on the internet with Art Cooper, who'd been the longtime editor of GQ. He'd been inducted into the magazine hall of fame. He was speaking about his tenure at Penthouse. How he'd been lured away by the money at Penthouse. He was there for a while but at one point he realized he had to get out of that field because another magazine came along that was going to ruin everything for that field. He said it was a 'disgusting magazine.' Hustler magazine.

"I respected Art Cooper's opinion. When he said Hustler was a disgusting magazine, I realized I was going to have a hurdle getting my job at Vanity Fair."

Luke: "What are the most interesting responses you've received when you've pitched stories? I bet most people won't even acknowledge you."

Allan: "Mostly you get no response. Not even, 'We'll pass.' Some people consider your ideas. From my experience as an editor, I've given people a stream of ideas that I think would be exactly what they want and I felt that if my experience had been at the auto-club magazine, I would've had a better chance. But since it's Hustler, they're predisposed to think it won't work. I had one guy say, 'I'm concerned that you wouldn't have the journalistic standards that we have here.'"

Luke: "Is there any part of you that is worn down by this or ashamed of your Hustler past or afraid to launch into the non-porn world?"

Allan: "I feel worn down. I get discouraged easily. There are people who have gone from Hustler who had the persistence and thrived.

"I love working at magazines as an editor. I've never been attracted to the life of the freelancer -- having to crank out story after story. All the travel. I'm 50. As a magazine editor, you're in the middle of things. You have to keep up with current events, the new trends in music and art, depending on your field. You feel that you have an impact on things as they are happening."

Luke: "The story of great magazine editors is a sad one. Most of them descend into alcoholism."

Allan: "I haven't read about that.

"My favorite contemporary editor is Lewis Lapham from Harpers. That guy was brilliant. After 9/11, he wrote an editorial that nobody else at that time was voicing those concerns. A lot of the things he laid out came to happen.

"The breadth of interest he had in that magazine. Even if I had not always agreed with his political views, there was always something interesting in the magazine."

Luke: "Why don't you have a blog?"

Allan: "Because you don't get paid. Can I make money on a blog?"

Luke: "You could. It'd be great promotion for your book. But you're 50. I'm 39. I don't like it when people 11 years older than me tell me what would be good for me."

Allan: "I don't mind. At Hustler, you're not paying these people much. You're hiring the same age group. I was getting further and further away from it. I liked having young people around."

Luke: "I haven't read a negative word about your book?"

Allan: "Not yet. Spin magazine's review was negative, but I felt it was inaccurate. I felt the person had not read the later chapters."

Luke: "Were you aware of how vicious the LFP organization could be to ex-employees? Following them around, stalking them, harassing them."

Allan: "Who did that happen to?"

Luke: "I'm thinking of one woman who worked there."

Allan: "I was not aware of that. They have not harassed me. They've had no interest in me whatever."

Luke: "You're not aware of them setting out to ruin the lives of former employees?"

Allan: "Not that I am aware of.

"I only wanted my former employees to succeed. There are a few people I fired who could have a case that I should've fired somebody else. One of them has put an ad for my book on his website.

"I was certainly not involved in any harassment. I have great relationships with people who used to work for me."

I email former Hustler writer and editor Evan Wright: "What advice would you give [Allan MacDonell] about pursuing a writing career outside of porn?"

Evan: "Try not to jack off too much when working at home during the day."

Luke: "How did you overcome your Hustler background?"

Evan: "I never tried to overcome my Hustler background, since I have always been proud to have worked there."

I talk to a former writer for Hustler who has not read Allan's book. "Everybody hated and fear Allan MacDonell. That's why I don't buy any bile that he's putting out, that he's some victim of the LFP empire or how horrible it was to work there. Everybody at LFP I ever talked to said Allan was the one who made it impossible to work there. He was the one who so hard to pitch stories to. If I was dealing with an editor, the editor then had to go pitch to MacDonell. MacDonell was always a hard sell. Of course MacDonell was answering to his higher-ups but MacDonell was the brick wall that people came up against.

"Allan was the ogre under the bridge. He was the one all the editors feared. If they didn't pitch something right, it wasn't going to be flown up the flag pole."

Luke: "Have you read any of his writings?"

Source butts in: "I have no desire to."

Luke: "Did you ever read his writings as Christian Shapiro? I find it amazing what an organization man Allan was at LFP. He was that organization. He embodied it."

Source: "That's exactly what I'm saying. If Allan tries to paint himself as any kind of a victim in his book... Everyone who leaves LFP immediately goes on this PR campaign to portray themselves as victims of this corporate behemoth."

Luke: "He doesn't portray himself as a victim.

"He's still able to snap right back into the mindset of the LFP organization man."

Source: "He's been doing it for so longer. If it wasn't for MacDonell, I would've stuck in longer at Hustler. I got tired of hearing from my editor, 'I've got to sell it to MacDonell.' I've never had that experience with another magazine before.

"It's that MacDonell was at odds with his editors, that he created an environment of hostility, a climate of fear.

"MacDonell was always toeing the company line or creating the company line.

"Working for Hustler was the most 'I need to go take a shower' experience I've had in the Adult industry. They really do make you feel like you are down in the gutter."

I know many people who've worked for LFP and for AVN and from what I gather LFP was the worse experience. "AVN is a trade magazine that fellates the business it covers," says my source. "Hustler is the opposite. Hustler has absolute contempt for the Adult industry and contempt for women."

Luke: "Though LFP will pull its punches if it's going to hurt their bottom line."

Source: "Mike Albo and Evan Wright had nothing but contempt for porn. Putting Albo as Editor of Hustler Erotic Video Guide is like naming Tammy Bruce as Editor of Playboy."

Jenna Jameson gives a special video message to her MySpace friends.

Jane: Are you still in love with Stefani Morgan or are you turned off by her self admitted promiscuity?
Jane: Would you like to be one of her harem boys?
Jane: Have you offered your services yet? Why don't you offer to take her to lunch at a swanky Beverly Hills place.
Jane: Did you read about her hanging out with Brody Jenner on celebrities.com?
Jane: Yes, she was hanging out with Brody and he introduced her to the paparazzo as the star of 'Rawhide', a porn movie Jane: I think you are right about why Monstar got deleted; his bulletins were often laden with potty words
Jane: AVN is really being obnoxious by not inviting the internet porn crowd to an 'industry summit'. What are they trying to say? That internet porn isn't a part of the 'industry'? I really don't understand that attitude that the video crowd has toward the internet crowd. The video crowd does not even try to learn anything about computers. Jane: What is behind Jenna Lewis doing 'Jenna's American Sex Star'? Jenna L. must really need some $$$.
Jane: That $100k she got for her porno must be gone!

Stefani Morgan's Cheatin' Heart

Paul writes: "Hi, Luke, thought you might be interested to know that there was a kiss-n-tell story from Stefani Morgan in one of the British tabloids about her sleeping with Jesse Metcalf (from Desperate Housewives)."

Ben Widdicombe writes in the New York Daily News:

A porn talker

Now we come to the part of the page wherein we give ink to whatever bleached blond is prepared to talk aaaall about her celebrity hookups.

"More guys than girls ask me about Tommy [Lee] in the bedroom," shares his girlfriend Stefani Morgan, who apparently is a thespian with the adult motion picture studio Vivid. "The girls want to know, of course, but guys go on about it ... with Tommy, it's awesome."

No doubt you're wondering whether our girl has had the benefit of relations with Wilmer Valderrama. Turns out, she has. "I wasn't a porn star when I met Wilmer, but he loves that I'm a porn star now," she says in the June issue of FHM. "I wouldn't say we dated; we had a couple of flings. There's something about him that's sexy and mysterious. It lures you in."

Like a Roach Motel.

And Jesse Metcalfe from "Desperate Housewives"? "That was short-lived. ... We started hooking up, and then it was done. I guess we were both over it."

We pause to lament what could have been before moving on: JC Chasez "had a problem with what I do. ... He couldn't understand. He felt like he was constantly in competition."

Just to complete this particular circle of hell, Stefani, 20 (!), has not only filmed herself with Rick Salomon (of the Paris Hilton video), she "kissed Paris on my birthday when we were hanging out." "She is a good kisser." And just like that, the secret of Paris' fame is revealed.

Hitler Laughing: Comedy in the Third Reich

Anyone read this yet? It looks like a scream. Should be the book to be seen with at shul this summer to advance one's social and romantic prospects.

Henry Alford writes about his boyfriend and more in the 5/7/06 NYT:

BOOKSELLING, it's said in the publishing industry, is a matter of "hand selling." Books considered tough sells — say, a book about an obscure or overly specific topic, or a book that buyers might actually be embarrassed to be seen buying — need an extra push to be viable in the marketplace. Without that push, these books meet that most dreaded fate: the calm before the calm.

...Having earlier piqued one browser's interest in "Hitler Laughing" by playing up its rarefied quality ("Everyone thinks 'Weimar: funny,' but not everyone thinks 'Third Reich: funny' ")...

Khunrum writes: "You remember the old joke: One of the last things Hitler said in his bunker before the Russians overran it -- 'Next time, no more Mr. Nice Guy.'"

Author (Hitler Laughing) William Grange calls me back Sunday night, May 7, 2006.

Luke: "When did it come out in hardcover?"

William: "It never came out in hardcover. Academic presses are going almost completely softcover and the libraries will bind them up usually. Among the Germans, this has been going on for 30 years. They're intended for purchase by libraries. Every once in a while, an academic book [will sell widely to a general audience]. The best example is Jared Diamond of UCLA who wrote Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies and won a Pulitzer Prize. That's like having lightning strike you. Usually academic books are done on the cheap. In the theater business, there have been dozens of books done that way. The guy in NYT [Henry Alford] said the title was so bizarre, who could possibly be interested? I thought it would be very interesting."

Luke: "What kind of reactions have you gotten to Hitler Laughing?"

William: "Most people are curious. Most people assume that nobody was laughing in the Third Reich.

"In Nazi Germany, people bought theater tickets voluntarily and went to plays they wanted to see. There were a much wider range of plays to see in Nazi Germany than in the Soviet Union. In terms of genre, there were about the same plays as during the Weimar Republic. There were more productions during the Third Reich. The Nazis created a market vacuum by shutting out all these objectionable playwrights and actors and there was still a demand for these situation comedies, what you see on television... These whimsical superficial comedies were the lifeblood of theater. It wasn't until television came along that theater became an elitist activity that has to resort to things like Angels in America."

Luke: "What were Nazis laughing at?"

William: "Jewish comedies. The Weimar Republic is the era of the great comedies by Oscar Blumenthal, Franz Arnold, Bruno Frank...[from the 1880s - 1933]. They were extremely popular playwrights [of situation comedies] very similar to Neil Simon and Woody Allen. The Nazis banned them. Somebody had to write plays like them during the Third Reich."

Luke: What humor did Hitler like?

William: "We know that on his 50th birthday, Joseph Goebbels gave him 18 brand new prints of Disney cartoons and Goebbels reported that Hitler said it was the best birthday present he ever had. They had a lot of movie nights. Even in the depths of the war, about once a month, they'd watch Gone With the Wind. They really liked the production values of what they called 'Film Jews.' In his attempts to get starlets to go to bed with him, Goebbels was the biggest film Jew of them all.

"Maria Von Trapp tells an anecdote about Hitler laughing hysterically, gasping for breath for laughing, at a gross joke. (Maria von Trapp, "The Trapp Family Singers" (New York: Dell, 1949), pp. 135-137.)

Luke: "What can we learn about Hitler from what made him laugh?"

William: "You can learn that he was absolutely normal. People don't like to think that Nazis were like everybody else. They liked to laugh. They liked to see plays. It's true that Hitler was a little strange, but in many ways, he was just like you and me. People try to heroize people who stood up to Hitler as morally superior and when you get into those kinds of debates, then you look at somebody like Hitler as defective. But he wasn't defective at all. He was an evil genius.

"Yes, by all means, people who stood up to Hitler were heroic. The best example is Sophie Scholl. But there were others, especially in the theater. But they stood up to the Hitler dictatorship in non-heroic ways. Heinz Hilpert, Gustaf Gründgens, Käthe Dorsch, and dozens of others surreptitiously sought to save Jews, hide them in closets, get them across the Swiss border, and used other subterfuges that collectively undermined the regime.

"The real question is, 'Were people who did not resist Hitler collaborators with the regime?' It's a difficult question, predicated as always on a sense of moral superiority. It's easy to look back sixty years and appoint moral standing or deny it to someone else. My contention is that nobody has the moral authority to assign blame to anyone. In a similar way, everybody places Hitler in the lowest circle of Hell. On what or whose authority?"

Luke: "What was Hitler's sexuality?"

William: "As far as I can tell, absolutely straight. There's no hint of any homosexuality."

Luke: "Did he play the field?"

William: "He had affairs but he was not promiscuous. There were lots of women, particularly older women, who were madly in love with Hitler and wanted to take care of him. He cultivated that got a lot of money from them."

Luke: "Did he bang a lot of chicks?"

William: "No. It was basically Eva Braun. He could've had any woman he wanted. He could've had thousands of women. He was a rock star. He's the first modernist politician. He exploited airplane travel. In the campaign of 1932, he traveled to 100 cities a week. He left behind long-play records of his speeches. They would set them up and play them on street corners. He exploited modern technology in a way that Roosevelt only began to do, and that was only the radio.

"The prime minister of France said around 1938 that if Hitler wins, it will be the Middle Ages all over again, but without the mercy of Christ.

"Churchill said, I beg to differ. It won't be a return to the Middle Ages. It will be a new age of modern barbarity. Hitler is not going back. He's very forward-looking.

"A lot of people like to think of Hitler as reactionary. He was progressive. He had a system that today would be called affirmative action. Hitler was not a fascist. He was a socialist, a national socialist."

Luke: "What type of jokes did Hitler tell?"

William: "We don't know for sure. There's little record that he told jokes but he had a lot of bonhomie. He loved being around his men. He had no sexual attraction for them but he loved male companionship, particularly with the guys who were the early fighters who were with him in Munich in the twenties and were responsible for the revolution."

Luke: "What were the distinctive characteristics of Nazi humor?"

William: "It's very old-fashioned. It's barnyard humor. They loved jokes about pigs. There was a play, Uproar Over Iolanthe (a big old sow), there's somebody who lands in a manure pile and brings it into the house. That goes back to a play by Carl Zuckmayer in 1925 called The Merry Vineyard. The Germans are always making jokes about "mist," their word for manure. They think it's funny.

"The term 'swine' is a term of insult among the Germans. At the same time, they recognize an enormous debt to pigs [for helping them get through the winter in ancient times].

"You don't have too many jokes about people defecating but there is a ribald sexuality in these plays. OK, they're not married, but they're creating an Aryan baby. That comes right out of the Weimar Republic and before that."

Luke: "Was there anything distinctive about Third Reich humor?"

William: "No, except that it condemned it [Weimar humor] while it embraced it. People think that because the Nazis were these murderous bastards, they must've had a murderous sense of humor. No. They were not murderous bastards. They were people just like you and me. That's what's scary. People don't like to think about that.

"If you see the movie Schindler's List, the character played by Ralph Fiennes was a conscious killer. But in many ways, they weren't. If you are dealing with people you don't consider human beings... Hitler had a soft spot for children. Children loved him. But Jews and gypsies and those we would call handicapped, he didn't consider human.

"The kind of humor the Nazis liked is exactly the kind of humor we like on television today. They embraced technologies in their highways, cars. The first comedies on television were done from the Reich Chancellery in 1938. The Third Reich was way ahead of everybody in their embrace of technology."

Luke: "Did the Nazis tell Holocaust jokes?"

William: "There were an awful lot of jokes about Jews. It's pretty tacky, tasteless stuff.

"Because of my German background, I can read Yiddish better than most Jews. I just got a research grant from the Dorot Foundation [a Jewish foundation that supports research into Jewish artists] to study Stella Adler, Marlon Brando's teacher.

"There's a great book in German called 'Persecuted and Forgotten' about actors, standup comedians and cabaret players who made the mistake of making fun of Hitler... The Gestapo were ruthless about this stuff, particularly during the 1940s. Any attempt to make light of the situation or insulting of the Fuhrer, they did not have a sense of humor about that."

Luke: "What about Eichmann (kept the trains running on time) and Himmler (ran the Gestapo)? What did they find funny?"

William: "There's very little record. I'd assume that any joke at the expense of the Jews, they'd find funny.

"The only Nazi leaders with an exalted background were Albert Speer (a degree in architecture) and Goebels who had a PhD (on a novelist) from Heidelburg.

"There's no record of a musical extravaganza during the Third Reich. Hitler was shy about his persona and you would never even think about putting a character like him in a play. He was much too serious about winning back Germany's honor and saving Europe from itself.

"Goebels wrote five volumes of diaries. There's little record in them of Hitler laughing.

"Because they were socialists, this was the first time that the entertainment industry was put on a national footing. theater and other things were always local before the Nazis."

Luke: "What surprised you in your research?"

William: "That the German people continued to like the same humor, the same theater, and were completely impervious to the propaganda that the government was putting out. That the Nazis were so unsuccessful in everything they tried to do.

"I was surprised by how successful Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, and George Bernard Shaw were in Nazi Germany. Hitler felt that Shaw was important to the Nazi cause. Wilde of course was gay. Hitler embraced Wilde's plays as socially relevant and promoted them well into the war years. Hitler promoted Shaw well after Shaw denounced Hitler in 1941. All of Shaw's plays were translated by Siegfried Trebitsch, who was a Jew. Trebitsch was collecting royalties on all these Nazi productions (paid through Switzerland).

"Erich Kastner, a Jew, gets asylum in Switzerland but Goebbels calls him out of asylum circa 1944 to work on the screenplay of Kolberg of a huge military movie about the Prussians versus the Russians. They brought 160,000 troops back from the Eastern front to appear in uniform in this movie.

"Hitler would set up five or six cabinet ministries to compete with each other to protect his own position. They all vied for his favor. The result was terribly inefficient."

Luke: "Did the Nazis watch Charlie Chaplin, particularly The Great Dictator."

William: "They knew about Chaplin. They considered him to be a communist."

Luke: "Was there a racial purity element in Nazi comedy?"

William: "Oh yes, in the subject matter [and among those who put on productions]. You had to get a license from the propaganda ministry before any of your plays could be performed. Anyone who worked in the theater, or anywhere, had to fill out a racial purity affidavit."

Luke: "Was there great humor that came out of the Third Reich? Stuff that forever changed the course of comedy?"

William: "No. There's little poetry. There's no music or painting. There are some great movies and fabulous Shakespeare productions."

Luke: "What were the names of the great movies made under the Third Reich?"

William: "Der Mustergatte (1937, based on an American play by Avery Hopwood titled "The Ideal Husband), Pygmalion (1935, based on the play by George Bernard Shaw), Eine Frau ohne Bedeutung (1936, based on the play "An Ideal Husband" by Oscar Wilde)1936), Tanz auf dem Vulkan ("Dancing on the Volcano"1938, a fabulous star turn for Gründgens about a song and dance man in the French Revolution), Grosse Freiheint No. 7 (Big Freedom No. 7,1934), Münchhausen (1943), Wasser für Canitoga ("Water for Canitoga,"1937), Savoy Hotel 217 (1936), Titanic (1943, yes, the Titanic that hit an iceberg in 1912; not a great movie, but interesting), Die vier Gesellen ("The Four Associates,1938, with Ingrid Bergman in her only Third Reich appearance), Kleider machen Leute ("Clothes Make the Man," 1940) and several others."

William: "...The Nazis called everyone they didn't like a 'cultural Bolshevik.'

"The Nazis were the revolt of the little man. They were bourgeois petty murderers who got hold of the country. Imagine Jimmy Hoffa or Al Sharpton getting a hold of a country. There probably wouldn't be any great poetry to come out of that.

"If you wanted to be funny [under the Nazis], you had to be officially funny."

Luke: "Are the Germans considered funny?"

William: "No. Not among English-speaking people. What led me to write these books is my experience of a bunch of Germans laughing hysterically at a play while I was in college. If you watch television in Germany today, there's very funny stuff going on.

"I'm fascinated by your background. My father was also a minister (Disciples of Christ). We knew about the Seventh Day Adventists. My dad used to say, 'They're great people. They've just got this thing about going to church on Saturday.' We never did figure that out. You guys are very similar to us. I was baptized by immersion. I don't have any pictures of it the way you do. We were always told that Seventh-Day Adventists were real Bible-believing Christians."

Luke: "Are you still a Bible-believing Christian?"

William: "Pretty much. I'm a Methodist now."

Luke: "There aren't many religious people in drama."

William: "No, they're not. I was at a conference in Los Angeles a month ago and there was a woman from Brigham Young University who said that the sleeper hit Napoleon Dynamite was a Brigham Young University student film expanded into a studio film.

"Neil LaBute is a Mormon and a very good playwright."

Luke: "He's an ex-Mormon. Are there other practicing Christians [in theater]?"

William: "Yes, but we're in a minority."

We both like Michael Medved and his autobiography Right Turns.

William: "I am completely out of the mainstream [of theater professors]. You wouldn't believe how often I've been whistled or hooted off the platform when I give talks at conferences. The feminists sit there and look at their shoes and shake their heads."

Luke: "How often has that happened?"

William: "Every time I get up and talk. They just can't believe what they're hearing. They thought they had rooted guys like me out of the profession."

Luke: "It's a feminized profession."

William: "Yeah. You go to these conferences and men are in a distinct minority."

Luke: "They boo? They hiss?"

William: "Yeah. Groan."

Luke: "Do you give up if it gets too loud?"

William: "Oh no. They're polite during the thing. But you can tell when you look at people as they stare at their shoes or groan or talk to each other.

"One of the guys I gave a talk with at Chicago was Henry Bial (University of Kansas), who's an Orthodox Jew. I was delighted to be on the panel with him. His talk was predicated on the way the old rabbis taught and spoke and did their research. We're talking about putting our papers in a book on theater, how we should be more rabbinical in our approach."

Luke: "How do you understand 'rabbinical'?"

William: "Thorough. Skeptical though there are certain core beliefs -- that God exists, that God has a plan for our lives, that God loves us. If you're a Jew, He devised this diet for us. If you're a Christian, He's got this plan for you, though we borrowed that from the Jews.

"We're [conservative theists] all in this together. We are up against a formidable enemy."

Luke: "Theater is the home of the transgressive."

William: "Yeah."

Luke: "The f-word and nudity etc were all the rage in theater."

William: "We started that because we didn't have anywhere to go after television. Theater was shunted aside [as a mass medium entertainment] and got more elitist to the point where we're all feminized, we're all gay... The AIDS plays are the valorization of the victim. If you're not a victim in today's academic world, you really don't count. All the disease plays -- Whipped, Marvin's Room, Shadow Box. It's tough dealing with students about this because they think of it as real theater. No, that's not real theater. Real theater doesn't deal with disease plays. It deals with action and conflict. When you're talking about disease plays, you're talking melodrama, superficial, two-sided thing."

Luke: "It must be discouraging."

William: "It is but that's one of the reasons I'm a Christian.

"There's lots of successful theater [today] but it's retrograde. It's Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables. Phantom is the most successful entertainment property in the history of the world. There's hope in it. Les Miserables is a story of Christian renewal and faith.

"You try to talk about and get it published and you're barking up the wrong tree.

"David Mamet is on to something. He's an iconoclast. He wrote an interesting play called Oleanna.

"Harold Pinter is an abomination.

"Dissenting voices that say there is a God, He loves you, he has a plan for your life, that is so retrograde, so primitive. Ted Turner says Christianity is for losers."

Luke: "What's the last play that meant something and influenced people?"

William: "Glengarry Glenross by David Mamet. Sam Shepard's Fool for Love. Neil LaBute's The Shape of Things."

Mensch - The Magazine For The Out Orthodox Homosexual

I drive to the Israeli Independence Day Festival, Sunday morning, May 7.

With the price of gas, I'm only doing it for the glory. A documentary film crew is supposed to meet me and record my religious journey for posterity.

It's a nice change from the topic I'm usually asked to comment on (the political philosophy of Leo Strauss).

I never find the documentarians (nor any hot chix who'll give me the time of day) but on the up side I spend most of the day with Mensch publisher and editor Matt Lipeles, who's written for the Jewish Journal posing as a heterosexual.

His whole Orthodox life is a great piece of performance art. Yasher koach!

Video of a hot blonde Israeli singer from 5 p.m. Sunday.

Video of Mashina reunited.

My allergies act up and I go through four paper towels blowing my nose.

I'm not the only one exploding with sprays of wet sneezes.

I stumble out of the bathroom and get weirded out by some freak singing scales.

I look closer. It's Sam Glaser preparing to go on stage.

I tell Matt that I want to talk to these wanton girls about tzniut (modesty).

"Hey good looking, don't you think you should cover up a bit?" suggests Matt. "I don't think that'll work."

A man comes up looking for a restroom.

"They are over to the left," says Matt.

"Be a mensch," I reprimand. "Tell him to go anywhere."

"Everyone's nice," reflects Matt, "but nobody's buying."

"It's not about the money," I say. "It's about the work."

He stares at me.

I smile.

"That's the funniest line you've said all day," he says.

Matt, who's sunk thousands of dollars of his own money into this venture, has a 250-pound bruiser named Jay going around collecting ad sales. "Buy an ad or I'll break your legs," is the implied message of Jay's body language.

"Don't call him a thug," reproves Matt as I dictate my column into my tape recorder.

Matt has a form where people can sign up for information about subscribing to the magazine. Over the course of eight hours, about 20 people sign up.

I figure it's just a way Matt can snag names and addresses of hot chix.

Anyone who comes near the booth is immediately jumped by Matt or his friend Stephanie. "Hi, would you like a free copy of our magazine? Please write down your name. We're going to be selling subscriptions. Would you like to advertise?"

Most people shy away.

My theory on sales is that you offer your product to the public while you stay cool and collected, reading a book in the background. Those who want to talk to you will come up and interrupt you.

I plough through 130 pages of Steve Stern's A Plague of Dreamers while less intellectually-minded persons than myself talk to their friends.

Slumped over with fatigue and rejection, Matt walks off to meet Dennis Prager, who was a gracious master of ceremonies.

Matt returns ten minutes later energized. He met the great man, who said he'd read Matt's magazine. Matt wants him to write for it.

Matt's excited. He's ready to walk the grounds. Nothing can hold him back now.

Outside the Mentsch booth is a Chabadnik asking Jewish men if they'd like to wrap tefillin. A girl about six years old wants to put on tefillin. The Chabadnik explains that tefillin is a mitzvah for men only. She's disappointed.

Much of the day, Matt can't even give his magazine away.

Luckily he has me by his side to offer a continual stream of encouragement.

"I feel like a member of the Mensch team," I sigh.

"Just don't expect a check," says Matt.

"A chick? I object to that objectifying language."

I see my friend Scott, an engineer confined to a wheelchair since he was 19.

I put my hands on Scott's shoulders and say, "By the power of Jesus Christ, I command you to rise."

Scott doesn't budge.

Oh well, it was worth a try.

"As an observant Jew, you would've been in a dilemma if that had worked," says Matt.

I try to date Scott's leftovers. He meets some hot chix at Starbucks and if he doesn't want them, I hit him up for their contact info. I almost got one date with a gorgeous blonde before she came to her senses and read my blog.

"As the Talmud says, the greater the man, the greater the yetzer hara (lustful impulse)," I intone.

Matt suddenly develops a guilty look. "Is all the food sold here kosher?" he asks.

For the first time since they moved in five months ago, I have a chat with my Israeli neighbors.

"Good fences make good neighbors" is an American poem. It's not the Israeli way.

"I've been like a zombie all day," Matt complains. "I only got two hours sleep last night."

"What were you doing? Don't spare any juicy details."

"I was printing up press releases."

"You always were the master of the metaphor."

As Matt scrambles to get away from me, he runs over a little kid.

"Suffer the little children to come onto me," I preach. "I will tear down the temple and rebuild it in three days."

Matt flees.

I consider hanging out at the teen tent but upon reflection decide it's not a good idea.

I'm torn between pony rides and the rabbi rubbing tent.

Matt wants to date a woman who takes his magazine.

"She's looking for marriage," a friend tells him.

What's all this dating mishegos? The Torah believes in marriage.

4:25 p.m. A girl in a short jean miniskirt, four inch wedgies (heels), and D-cup breasts bouncing around (without a bra) just under her t-shirt walks by.

I don't notice.

I glimpse some scantily clad female dancers on the main stage and stagger out of the Mentsch booth to get a better view.

Mashina sings 98% in Hebrew but I love them. They're my type of rock group. I stand like a white man in the middle of a group of grinding teenagers. Could I get arrested for this? I clasp my book and my Seraphic Press man purse and try not to look aroused.

She starred in Bang My White Tight Ass 16, Bang My White Tight Ass 9, Brooke Hunter's Smokin' 2, Debbie Does Spanking 3, Fresh Porn Babes 6, Gonzoman 2, Itty Bitty Titty Lesbians, Lesbian Bukkake 2, Lesbian Swirl Fest 2, Lipstick And Latex, Mature Women With Younger Girls 11, Payne For Hire, Ransom, London Trespass Into Torture.

She died of a heroin overdose on September 20, 2005 at age 32.

From MyDeathSpace.com:

Adult film actress, fetish model and noted blogger Eva Lux died at age 32. It was reported that Ms. Lux, real name Leticia Lynn Blake died of a heroin overdose. Alsana Sin, a fellow actress, model and blogger stated on her blog site that her friend Eva Lux died just hours after they had filmed a scene together. One of the people who posted a response on Ms. Sin’s website summed up my feelings exactly: "I’m tired of beautiful girls (or anybody) dying of drugs." I was fascinated by reading Ms. Lux’s own blog. It stopped four days before her death. She didn’t talk much about the world of porn, instead, she talked about the world, the daily grind, friends, religion and philosophy. Stay away from drugs folks. Prayers of comfort for her family and friends.

Eva last logged into her MySpace profile a week before she died (September 13, 2005).

Eva Lux made her last MySpace blog Sunday, September 04, 2005:

Your Panties can HELP Hurricane Victims!!!

Here’s your chance to be naughty AND nice and show that perverts care too! Alsana Sin and Eva Lux are collecting panties, thongs and stockings to be auctioned off in one big lot on erosbids.com. We need naughty girls to donate sexy used items preferably with a signed Polaroid or 8x10 (but anything helps). Whether you’re a horny housewife, the girl next store or a diva fetish model, your dirty under things can help! Strip, send and save lives!

But it was not her last blog. That was on LiveJournal Sept 16, 2005:

My new job is so...utterly...tedious. I basically just answer the phone, file, and do spreadsheets on Microsoft Excel all day. I feel like an ingrate because it's close to my house, it's a great environment, and everyone is really nice. It's just so f-ing boring. I guess most peoples' jobs are boring. I guess this is what you call being an adult.

I never wanted to accept that. I've always believed that life is what you make it. So for a while there my life was more or less one big party. I guess it's normal to feel like life is boring and tedious when the party is over and it's time to go home. I always find something fun to do on the weekends because otherwise I'd go insane. The important thing is to have some balance, which is something I've tended not to be so good at in my life. I think I'm getting better at it as I get older.

I just can't wait for November to get here so I can get the heck outta Orange County and move in with my buddy Angela in the valley and be close to my friends and not have to drive an hour-and-a-half to see the people I care about. I've been trying to cultivate mindfulness and this anticipation is messing it up because all I do is daydream about stuff like how I'm going to decorate my room and how I'm going to spend my money and what a brilliant writer I'll be when I get my time and privacy back.

...My first instinct was to say that I'd rather have a boring low-stress job. But on second thought, I guess it depends on what you mean by challenging. Intellectually stimulating and challenging, yes; being a nurse in an emergency room challenging, HELL NO. And I'd have to be making A LOT of money to be ok with working on the weekends and being consistently sleep deprived. Been there, done that, over it.

Warren Ellis writes Sept 21, 2005:

It's been about a week since I last spoke to Leticia. She'd just started a new temp secretarial job, and was working her little arse off. I think the last note I got was that she loved JONES #3, a script I'd talked to her about way back when. Her name was Leticia Blake, but she worked in the adult film industry as Eva Lux. Mostly fetish stuff -- BDSM, fringe things like electro-play, a little gonzo. She'd giggle about the titles: Black Dicks In White Chicks. She'd hit a bad patch a while back, but was putting her life back together. She was about six weeks away from moving in with a friend, a stable one, was modelling again, and was working up to recommencing her writing.

I woke up this morning to a note from a mutual friend that Leticia died yesterday afternoon. I don't really feel like telling you how.

I'm bothered by the idea that, by the end of the day, Leticia could be written off as another adult film statistic. She subtitled her blog "Diary of a Pleasure Activist." She was smart, and she didn't fool herself about a goddamn thing. She knew she was the epitome of the Oscar Wilde line: "I can resist everything except temptation." She had the writer's need to write, but life kept getting in the way. Our mutual friend is a shaman and ceremonialist. On Thursday night, she's lighting candles for Leticia. Me, I'm having a glass of white wine. She'd always have a glass of white, some Californian muck chilled to within an inch of its life, during our marathon conversations.

I'm going to miss you, sweetheart.

Leticia Blake writes Sept 4, 2005:

Blog Ratings... Did you know there's a site that rates blogs? I found this last night. I have 8.77 points out of 10, ranked 47th our of 217 in the adult blogs category. It's funny to me that I'm in the adult section because I hardly ever talk about sex or porn and when I do, I tend to talk about my thoughts and feelings on the subject rather than the act itself or anything prurient. If you're reading this, you obviously have access to an internet connection and thus more porn than any human being could reasonably need. I find it much more interesting to talk about the dynamics of my unorthodox relationships and profession and how that's effecting my life rather than "yeah he tied me up and we fucked and he drove me to trembling heights of erotic ecstacy and then I swallowed every bit of his hot seed and then he untied me and we ate pizza". That ---- is just boring to me. I'd probably have a higher rating if I talked dirty more. It's really weird to me that I even care.

Leticia writes Sept 4, 2005 about Katrina:

I woke up this morning to Critter literally yelling at the tv because he was so pissed off. They were interviewing the Director of FEMA and he was lying like a damned rug. It was disgusting. I can't even muster up the energy to get mad about it because I have yet to work my way through the dull shock of disbelief. I just can't believe how bad this is. It's like the powers that be wanted people to die. I really think that's what it is. They're thinning the herd. The majority of people who weren't able to evacuate were poor. In this country, the life a poor person has never been worth much. It's like this: you fuck with city dwellers and they riot. Fuck with the peasants and they die. A few more people off the welfare rolls. A lot of people think this is a racial issue because a lot of the people who are suffering right now are of African descent and the government isn't exactly going out of their way to help. Maybe I'm being naive here, but I think it's a class thing rather than a race thing. I grew up in a rural area. Basically we were poor white trash. When you've got no money and no power, it doesn't particularly matter what race you are. You don't matter. The powers that be would just as soon thin the herd.

I don't think the government is merely incompetent. I think they did this on purpose. Wal-Mart sent three tucks loaded with water to the disaster site. The National Guard turned the trucks away because they supposedly weren't needed. How else do you explain something like this? I think they're slaughtering the poor because the government views them as cannon fodder and a drain on our resources. The fact that most of them are of African descent is just gravy.

Leticia writes Aug 26, 2005:

I've got a date with the dyke tonight. I have to let her down gently. I'm just not feeling it. One of my housemates suggested I have her break me off a little sumptin'sumptin' because it's been so long since I've been with a girl, I outta just to make sure I remember how. But I can't use a woman that way. I wouldn't feel right about it. After I let her down gently, it's off to services.

I'm jonesing to see Rabbi Nancy do her thing-and it's ask the Rabbi night! w00t! There's a q&a after the regular service and I'm looking forward to it. No I'm not jewish. Yes, I know this is weird. One of these days I'll explain what this is all about but today is not that day.

Doing a shoot tomorrow for some guy who does Playboy type stuff. Translation: I'm going to look pretty and the pics will be boring. But hey it's a job.

I'm working for a mortgage escrow company in Laguna today. I'll be here for another week. I just got done working for the Mission Viejo branch of the same company. I thought I was going to have today off so I had a big long to-do list (most important item-work on my tan) and then they called me at 8 am saying they wanted me to come work here for a week. So I was annoyed but whatever it's money. Oh the joys of working temp secretarial.

Leticia blogs December 7, 2003:

This entry started out totally different, but I was a few sentences in and The Boyfriend said "are you sure you want to write that?" I got really annoyed and deleted what I'd written and was all mad at him for interrupting my flow and being critical. He wasn't even criticizing. If I'm going to put my writing on the net I shouldn't be that sensitive but I guess I am. I'm annoyed at him and I feel like a total bitch for being annoyed. I hate feeling this way.

...The Boyfriend tied me up and did evil things to me last night. I have some scratches on my waist whee the chain was diggin in into my skin. Thank you sweetheart!

...I started dancing as much for the attention as the money. Once in a while I met a woman like myself. Melissa was one of these: an unabashed exhibitionist. Everything about her screamed sex. And not in curving elegant letters. It was the glowing neon of a sign in an old film noire. In her world, it was always raining and the air was always smoky and a man in a fedora was rapidly losing his resolve while a woman in a vintage slip and stockings with seams on them and red lipsick was walking towards him slowly while the smoke from her cigarette whirls towards the heavens as her heels make the floorboards speak and the sign just outside the window flashes "MOTEL...MOTEL...MOTEL..."

...I've got to stop posting so much. People are going to think I just have no life at all right now and sit in front of the computer all day. Which happens to be accurate but...ya know...I don't want people to THINK that. I miss The Boyfriend. He's working. Darn him. I want him to work and make a lot of money AND be home to cook for me at the same time. Yup. That's what I want. I want The Boyfriend to be in two places at the SAME TIME for the sake of my dinner. That's why people like me. It's 'cause I'm reasonable. And cheerful. *sigh*

 

After Rally Report: "Pinko de Mayo" Serves Strike-While-the-Iron-is-Hot Capitalist

I was exasperated last week. I heard not one “conservative” talk-show host link the Leftist organized “economy crippling” rallies called for May 1st to the traditional Communist celebration.

Now we know what the American hating left wanted: to hurt the country economically. And it may hurt to some who so cowed that they closed up shop.

But quite the opposite happened to one store owner - in the heart of Los Angeles. Mere blocks from MacArthur Park no less -- where eager TV kept trying to tell us there were hundreds of thousands, but the cameras never seemed to show more than a few thousand. In the densest county in the country; with arguably our country's largest illegal population to boot.

L.A.'s hidden racism (hidden in plain sight) contest

What popular eating and drinking establishment in Santa Monica quietly yet boldly features a racist caricature front and center in its reception area and dining room?

Publicist and manager Jay Bernstein dead in LA at 69

Sandy Cohen writes for AP:

LOS ANGELES - Hollywood publicist and manager Jay Bernstein, known for his impeccable clothes, gorgeous girlfriends and the pistol he packed in his waistband, has died. He was 69.

Bernstein died Sunday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after suffering a stroke, according to friend and former employer Warren Cowan.

Bernstein's longtime client, Farrah Fawcett, was at his bedside.

Publicist Edward Lozzi, who cited Bernstein as his "mentor and friend," recalled him as exceptionally well-dressed, often wearing socks that matched the lining of his coat.

"He had these incredible custom-made clothes that were really outrageous," Lozzi said. "He had tinted glasses that matched his shirt, like a straight Elton John."

"He was an eccentric," Lozzi continued. "He was a walking publicity stunt."

Bernstein always wore a holster in the small of his back where he carried a loaded .38 or Beretta pistol, Lozzi said. He would swing his jacket around as he danced so clubgoers could catch a glimpse of the gun.

He was an accomplished hunter whose Beverly Hills home was decorated with heads of game animals, Lozzi remembered.

Bernstein was known for his collection of jeweled walking canes that numbered in the hundreds, Lozzi said.

"He went everywhere with a new cane," he said. "That was one of his gimmicks."

Longtime friend and employee Jeannie Cromie said Bernstein loved his canes.

"He had them appraised every six months," said Cromie, who worked for him on and off for more than 25 years. She described her former employer as "demanding" and "difficult" but ultimately caring.

"He lost his temper, but he always apologized," said Cromie, who named Bernstein the godfather of her son, Jimmy, now 15.

"He had an aura about him that was so kind."

Bernstein was a "ladies' man," Cromie said, who once got married underwater for a bit on "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous."

"That marriage sunk," Lozzi quipped, adding that Bernstein surrounded himself with beautiful women throughout his life.

Born June 7, 1937, in Oklahoma City, Bernstein was a movie fan who idolized Clark Gable, Tyrone Power and Errol Flynn.

Pat Saperstein writes in Variety:

Manager and producer Jay Bernstein, who was instrumental in launching the careers of Farrah Fawcett and Suzanne Somers, died of a stroke Sunday in Los Angeles. He was 69.

His publicity and management clients included Drew BarrymoreDrew Barrymore, Brooke Shields, Dick Van Dyke, Faye Dunaway, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and Richard Pryor.

Bernstein was known for his memorable PR campaigns, including having Mary Hart's legs insured for a million dollars and Linda Evans' "Perfect 40 Year Old" campaign.

He had been working for several years on launching a series based on stories from the Los Angeles public defender's office.

He is survived by a daughter, his mother and a sister.

Jay came to my August 19, 2004 LA Press Club book party for The Producers: Profiles in Frustration and XXX-Communicated: A Rebel Without a Shul. He bought eight copies of my book that night (and took ten).

I had ten pages on him in the book.

He used it to try to get a publishing deal for his memoir. He did not succeed (to the best of my knowledge).

At my book party, I introduced him to two possible writers for his memoir -- Nelson Handel and Jeffrey Wells.

Jay called me a few days before the party. He was disturbed by the press release for my party. He had only known me as a nice young man. But all this talk about: “a bottom feeder” (Village Voice), “He has elevated moral and spiritual schizophrenia to surreal proportions” (Salon)…

Why would I talk about myself that way?

I told him that's just how I am -- self-deprecating.

The day after my party, Jay called me. "The women could've been prettier," he groused.

And I'd been in hog heaven in the chick department. I guess we had different expectations.

From day one, Jay struck me as an unhappy lonely man. We bonded quickly, helped by our common conservative politics and my interest in his life.

He once took me to lunch at Spago's. While we were sitting in his sports car afterwards, he showed me his gun. He said he had a license to carry (only about 200 of those are granted in LA to civilians).

It seemed like he spent most of his time watching television. He wasn't a reader.

From my April 21, 2002 page:

Chaim Amalek writes: Luke, if you were half the man you wish you were, you would begin work now to worm your way onto the staff of the new paper Riordan is trying to launch. I am sure you can think of a plausible role to play.

Khunrum writes: Gentlemen, It looks as though our boy has "Gone Hollywood" on us..."with producer and manager Douglas Urbanski, friend of Peggy Noonan, Christopher Hitchens." The names are being dropped like bombs over Afghanistan. Last but not least: "Here's the swanky party I'm going to tonight." and, Luke is now writer, editor and movie critic of LukeFord.net. I believe the best we can hope for is looking back on those golden years at .com and E mailing each other, "We knew him when."

Luke, did you bring Freakboy with you? Was this a networking opportunity that didn't pan out? I too have noticed that your IM conversations with Mr. Amalek are only slightly more boring than your producer interviews. So bad, that when I want to read something stimulating I click on Weisblogg.com.

Helpful writes: Wake up, Rum. Our Luke a Hollywood big shot? Doubtful. His invitations to swanky Hollywood swarees will quickly dry up when the word gets out that Luke Ford is nothing but a tease. His fey manner and queer head shot mislead many producers into believing that he is a prize twink ripe for the plucking, but they will soon discover that he is, in fact, a closeted heterosexual.

Khunrum replies: Is that a forced laugh? Is Luke chuckling uproariously at a producer's dumb joke? I'll bet he is hoping to be invited to another power dinner.

Helpful writes: That ridiculous photo was snapped the moment Jay Bernstein offered to show Luke his "gun."

On September 9, 2004, I emailed Jay a link to the LA Press Club's newsletter coverage of the book party.

He replied: "You look like a superstar! congratulations on the coverage. you friend, jay bernstein."

I last saw Jay March 7, 2005. I dropped off about 15 copies (I accidentally left an extra copy) of my producer book around 11 a.m. to his home in Beverly Hills (off Coldwater Canyon).

Jay was still in bed. His maid (of about 15 years) roused him. He wrote me a check for $480 (my cost for the books).

He had me sit in a massage chair for a few minutes and turned it on. It felt good.

He went through various DVDs and asked me which ones I wanted. I took about six.

I told him I was sorry, but I had to run off to a medical apppointment.

We shook hands and said goodbye.

5/1/06

Dillan Lauren Interview

Dillan's MySpace page pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic WMV Video of the Dillan vs Ava fight on MikeSouth.com.

I call her Monday after watching her fight video with Ava Vincent from last August.

She says she brought Gene Ross a videotape of the fight to a restaurant one night so he would clarify his earlier report. "I like him. He was nice in person. But he had something on his site about me having Skeeter's baby."

Luke: "You kicked Ava's ass."

Dillan: "I was pissed because she threw stuff on my little sister's shirt, which I wouldn't have worn except that they gave me the wrong wardrobe requirements for that day.

"My little sister and I were having a talk about how if you trade clothes, you respect the other person's clothes. I took something of hers because she wanted my favorite skirt.

"Venus, who I'm friends with, was talking s---."

Luke: "She said in the video that every set you go on..."

Dillan: "She's a friend of mine. She was just in a bitchy mood.

"Ava stole my clothes on a DVSX set. I looked in her suitcase and under her mess of clothes were my clothes neatly folded.

"Seymore Butts and Cousin Stevie loved the fight."

Luke: "Did Ava ever file a police report against you?"

Dillan: "She never did. She's a [disparaging term for someone who likes certain substances too much].

"I remember when I was going to that set, I said, 'Derek, I don't get along with Ava.' He said, 'Dillan, don't get in a fight.' So Ava said, 'I'm calling Derek and then I'm going to kick your ass.'

"There were eight girls. Five were replacements who were notified that morning. You were supposed to come with hair and make-up done. They all made it up before her. She was three hours late. We were sitting around waiting for her. And she wants to paint her nails clear before a three minute interview where you are not even going to see her hands.

"She throws a fit because she can't sit there and paint her fingernails clear. You pick them to begin with. They're all scabbed up. What do you care what they look like?

"I'm venting."

Luke: "It was funny."

Dillan: "It was gay. I should've beat her up more."

Luke: "Have you had fights before on set?"

Dillan: "I don't think so. But I was a little rowdy in highschool. My dad taught me how to box.

"That wrestling move I pulled on her with the elbow was pretty gay. I was going to break her nail.

"I got in a fight at the Billy Joel concert two months ago. A belligerent drunk girl pulled my hair. She was in my seat. I'm a hot head. I just punched her. I hurt my hand. I fractured a little bone.

"I'm a good girl. It's just gossip. It's hearsay."

Luke: "How's fashion school?"

Dillan: "I haven't beaten anyone up yet. And the most important part is that I've paid for it already.

"I always make jokes about the porn-stars-going-to-school thing. They always say, 'I'm going to school,' but they never go. I'm breaking the rules.

"I went out to a couple of bars the other night because my friend was in town.

"I'm doing a music video with two girls I know. It's something gay, little thing. It's a Spanish-Latin mix.

"I did a video called "Make-Up Sex" for the band Clear Static. They kicked it off MTV and edited out most of my part. It's on my MySpace page. I'm stripping for one of the band members. I think the whole purpose was to get kicked off MTV. There's a dirty version floating around somewhere.

"I got the job from LA Direct Models.

"It's a funky song. They're like Duran Duran. Glam rock."

Luke: "How are your new breasts?"

Dillan: "They're good. They're really soft now. Agent Provocateur is my favorite store now because Victoria Secret doesn't carry my size (32F). I'm such a big girl, they don't look that huge when you look at me proportionately (she stands 5'8")."

Luke: "Are you coming back to LA?"

Dillan: "In the near future, because I want to shoot some pictures. I don't want to shoot porn anymore. If offer a girl-girl thing, I'd do it. I just don't want to shoot gonzo boy-girl.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm a submissive girl. If I really feel like getting beat up, choked and spat on, I'll do it at home. I'm serious. I don't know why. I just don't feel like doing it on video anymore."

Luke: "Would you shoot for Holly Randall?"

Dillan: "I would love to shoot for Holly Randall. I love Holly. Would she shoot me?"

Luke: "Yeah."

Dillan: "Whenever she's available, I'll fly out there.

"I know she likes me tanned and so I'll get some tanning done. I'm on my way there now, as soon as I leave my room."

Luke: "How's your love life?"

Dillan: "I had a guy friend come out from LA. I wouldn't call it my love life because he's got a lot of girls. He's a regular actor. He's famous. He's sweet. We had a good time. We used to date casually.

"I was seeing someone here. He's an investment banker."

Luke: "Do they like you for who you are or do they like you because you're a porn star and you're crazy in bed?"

Dillan: "I'm trying to figure that out. I'm not sure I like them for who they are or because they're crazy in bed.

"'Oh baby, don't talk. Just sit there and look pretty.'

"You know who taught me that? Austin Kincaid.

"If a guy's pretty, he's stupid.

"I like guys with dark hair and eyeliner. I don't like meatheads. I like nerds or the rock star look. An underground band is cooler to me than a popular band."

Luke: "Don't you think it's swishy for guys to wear make-up?"

Dillan: "It depends on when and how often they wear make-up and where."

Luke: "You don't like guys who dress in women's clothing?"

Dillan: "Not last time I checked. I have enough girls stealing my s---. I don't need guys stealing it too."

Luke: "But you want the guy to be more aggressive in bed."

Dillan: "I'm very submissive in bed, even though my personality is dominant."

Luke: "Do you like to be slapped and have your hair pulled and be called a whore?"

Dillan: "Well, depends on who says it, but yeah. Why? Are you going to do it with me and Holly? I'm down.

"It's not that you want to be called a whore but what you are going to say? It's not that being called a whore is going to get me off, it's the spontaneity of it. I like sensual domination. I don't dig degradation."

Luke: "This woman once told me to ---- her like a whore."

Dillan: "You walked out of there and said, 'I'm in love.'

"It's good stuff. It's good to know that she's comfortable enough with you to say that. If she thought you thought it, she'd slap you upside the head.

"I don't always use the word 'whore.' 'F--- me like a whore.' Go figure. Give me something new. Come on. There are more words in the dictionary. Pull out your thesaurus. 'F--- me like I'm a prude. F--- me like I'm frigid.'

"I always enjoy talking to you on the phone. You always make me laugh.

"I remember the first time I met you. It was the first time you'd taken pictures of me.

"I was told, 'Watch your mouth. Luke is over there.' You were the worst guy in the world. You were going to wreck my whole career. I turned around and I didn't see Satan standing there.

"I don't get it. Is there that much to hide?"

Luke: "People are scared that I'm going to uncover their deep dark secrets."

Dillan: "Go ahead and dig."

Ava Vincent and Dillan Lauren Fight Last August on a Cousin Stevie set

Dillan yells at Ava: "Bad bitch. So pathetic bitch."

Ava: "So pathetic."

Dillan: "I've washed up. You still have to look like that."

Ava grabs a burrito and throws it at Dillan.

Dillan: "I will f--- you up."

Dillan grabs Ava by the hair and shakes her like a rag doll.

Ava: "Oh yeah?"

Dillan knocks Ava down and repeatedly smashes her with an elbow.

Dillan: "I will f---ing kick your ass. Don't ---- with me."

Ava gets up and shakes her finger at Dillan. "You did that on camera. You are getting a lawsuit. You are getting a lawsuit."

Ava turns to the camera: "What's her name?"

Dillan: "F--- you, bitch."

Venus intervenes. She says to Dillan, "What the f---? Every set you're on."

Dillan: "She threw food at me twice. I will f--- her up."

Mike says Ava is fighting with Melissa Lauren but it's the tall American girl Dillan Lauren that she's getting it on with.

Bishop writes on XPT: "Ava apparently had inadvertantly left with some items of [Dillan's] clothing on a prior shoot. This was the first time those two had run into each other since that incident. Real classy how the cameraman just kept rolling as she was snatched up by her head. Let's say she catches her head on the counter on the way down."

Christian writes on XPT: "How stupid is Ava Vincent? She throws the burrito at Dillan and then turns her back to her."

TheKing writes: "The best part is, as Dillan is slamming Ava's head against the wall Ava is exclaiming "oh yeah," like she has any control, in response to Dillan's threat of "I will f--- you up bitch." I must say I'm surprised by Ava's fortitude being that she looks quite frail and fragile compared to Dillan Lauren. Unexpectedly Ava pops up no worse for the wear threatening a lawsuit. In conclusion, this might be one of the best posts ever."

8:05 a.m. April 30. I leave hovel. I fill up with gas and inflate my tires. I park on Westwood Blvd at 8:35 a.m. for free. I walk a mile to line up for tickets at The Los Angeles Times Book Festival. There are about 400 people in front of me.

The ticket booth opens at 9 a.m. and moves quickly. I get tickets to all four events I want.

I walk the campus. My book publisher Prometheus has no booth.

I get into Royce at 10 a.m. for "No Boundaries: Media and the Freedom of Ideas" with Arianna Huffington, Cathy Seipp, Jules Witcover and moderator Karen Grigsby Bates.

The panel starts at 10:36 a.m. Out of the four panelists, Cathy is the only one wearing a skirt -- the same green outfit she wore to our April 18th Wednesday Morning Club lunch. Sheesh, Cathy, I want you in something fresh every time I see you. I know I don't, but I'm a man and it doesn't matter as much.

Cathy says American newspapers should've published those Danish cartoons poking fun of Mohammed and Islam to better explain what the Islamic riots were about (that killed over 100 people) two months ago. The other three panelists agreed.

Arianna and Jules trotted out worn soundbytes about the American news media (particularly Judy Miller and The New York Times) falling down on the job of examining the Bush administration's justifications for the invasion of Iraq (prior to the invasion).

Then Cathy uttered the one provocative thought of the panel -- that the Christian Science Monitor, with its minuscule circulation of 20,000, should not have had a freelancer in Baghdad if they could not afford her a bodyguard.

When freelancer Jill Carroll was kidnapped, her interpreter was murdered. Maybe that "girl" shouldn't have been there, said Cathy. She doesn't speak Arabic. She doesn't have any expertise. Feeling a passion for a story may not be reason enough.

The audience hisses Cathy until Bates brings them under control.

Rodger writes: "Wow. Cathy needs to get her basic facts straight. Carroll was a freelancer for the CSM. They did not send her to the Middle East. And she spent three months in Kuwait upon arrival learning to speak Arabic."

Cathy said that in the 1950s the Monitor mattered. It doesn't any more.

(When I came to America in 1977, my father said the Monitor was the best and least biased of American newspapers. It's quite anti-Israel.)

The other panelists waxed passionate in support of Jill Carroll being in Iraq.

"Can anyone name anything she reported?" Cathy asks.

Nobody can.

I leave at 11:15 to catch the 11:30 "To the Point: Short Stories" panel featuring Gary Amdahl, Aimee Bender, Dana Johnson, Eric Puchner and moderator Scott Timberg.

Gary loves Anton Chekhov because of the compassion he displays for all his characters, even the evil ones. "I'm contemptuous of my characters rather than compassionate, and my stories suffer for it."

Eric has yet to see an "overly-crafted" short story from one of his students. Most of them lack craft. He'd love to say, "De-craft this."

Aimee does get overly-crafted stories with no life.

An elementary school teacher confesses: "I feel like I am killing future writers by teaching them adverbs."

The panelists say that's bosh.

Questioner: "What percentage of your writing sees the light of day?"

Eric: "I think I can speak for everyone [on the panel] that it's 15.6%."

I have a nice chat with David Ehrenstein while waiting in life for the 1 p.m. Kevin Roderick interview of Los Angeles Times Editor Dean Baquet (pronounced BACK-ay and he's not African-America, his family hails from the Caribbean).

Cathy stops by briefly but as a member of the elite with that elite media pass and green wristband she waltzes in ahead with her dad Harvey and his friend David Crawley.

Ten minutes later I'm where I belong -- beside Cathy and magic fills the air. Or maybe it's just the presence of the kindly Kevin Roderick.

I want to ask him why the LA Times or USC journalism school hasn't brought his blog LA Observed.com in-house.

Cathy says Kevin makes piles of money through his ads.

I wager he'd make a pile more at the Times or USC.

Cathy, David and Kevin chat about former Times columnist Michael Hiltzhik.

Kevin and Dean have children who are juniors at Santa Monica High School.

This event is supposedly sold out but only 20% of the seats are occupied.

Kevin and Dean keep clearing their throats and the session gets off to a tedious start. Then Dean's lively personality takes over at about the 20-minute mark.

Dean: "I've never lived in a place where people have such an inferiority complex about their newspaper."

He says The Times, like many newspaper, is better at covering governments than people.

Dean's not as much a fan of objectivity as fairness. He wants his newspaper to take more chances and to be more fun. "We've very serious. We have to get funnier."

Cathy says to me: "Good news for you!"

Dean: "Blogs are important to the newspaper and to all newspapers. We're struggling with them. It's a hard medium to master.

"Newspaper editors are so nervous about change. We're conservative.

"A classic example of [what would've been a great blog]. We were one of only three newspapers that had reporters in Baghdad (along with the NYT and WP). This was an amazing historic event. We were on the phone every day with our Baghdad bureau chief and he was telling us amazing stuff. He talked about what he'd seen. If I had been smarter then about the power of the internet, I would've said, 'Let's have him write a blog.'

"We weren't smart enough and fast enough about the Internet Sometimes we're clumsy. Sometimes we seem like middle-aged people trying to sing hip-hop.

"We had a screw-up in the past couple of weeks. We'll screw up again on the Internet"

Dean: "It was a tragedy. Some of what happened with Mike had nothing to do with the Internet You can't lie if you want to work for The LA Times. I was not swayed by the argument that he had gone into a world where people do this kind of thing. That's like saying that people who cover Hollywood for The Times cover people who lie, therefore it is OK for the people covering Hollywood to lie.

"What Mike [Hiltzhik] did was a grave sin. He lied.

"I was sitting at home one morning reading about Enro. I pick up the paper and I read the account of Ken Lay [testimony]. I'm thinking, 'If I was a business columnist, I'd have fun with this one. Ken Lay blames everyone else but himself.'

"I only have one business columnist. I asked myself, 'Could Mike write that column?' It hit me that Mike could not write that column and that he should not be a columnist. He lost his credibility to beat up business executives who obfuscate or lie.

"I still think it's a tragedy because Mike was a good columnist and in many ways he's a fine journalist and he's written many important stories for the paper.

"It was an easy decision to make [to remove Mike's blog and column]."

LA Times journalists are not unionized so it would've been easy for Dean to fire Mike.

Hiltzhik was a rare member of the Times to push back against Times critics. Dean says the Times should push back. He's not sure that such pushback should only be online. "Newspapers don't know how to respond to critics."

Dean says only 20 readers wrote in to the Times's reader representative about Hiltzhik.

Cathy Seipp goes for the microphone when Roderick opens up for questions. He introduces her by name.

Dean gives her a smile and a wave, which makes her feel good.

I ask the third question. Kevin calls on me by name, which makes me feel good.

I ask Dean why he doesn't have a gossip column.

Baquet says he wants one. That when he came to town (about six years ago), The Times started one (City of Angles column?) and it was a failure.

"It's hard to do well. Look at the New York Post. I'd like to have one that covers Hollywood and the local political scene.

"We're a very serious paper. We could put pictures of people in Bermuda shorts on a sunny day on our front page and nobody could say we're not a serious newspaper. We cover the Iraq war better than any paper in America. We're a very serious newspaper and that gives us more latitude than we've taken advantage of so far.

"We live in a city where gossip is an important traffic. As long as you keep the other stuff, the war coverage, Washington coverage, there's room for a gossip column.

"I want The LA Times to be provocative. I want you to get pissed off when you read it. I want you to get angry at something in the war coverage. But then I want you to have a gossip column that's fun."

Dean does not know where he'd put it. "The ideal place is Calendar but it goes to bed at 3 p.m. If I found the right person, I'd figure out where to put it."

A black woman complains about the lack of black authors at the festival.

Dean explains that there's a wall between the newsroom and the other branches of the paper such as that which sponsors the festival.

Baquet repeatedly says that The LA Times is one of only four American newspapers (along with The NYT, WP, and WSJ) aiming for greatness.

2:05 p.m. Cathy gives me David Crawley's media pass and green wristband (which I quickly lose) and gets me into the greenroom with the good eats. I have a few helpings of dessert and look enviously at Kevin Roderick who's surrounded by five hot chix.

Now that's my idea of dessert.

Gay Talese walks in wearing his funny hat.

Cathy's daughter Maia tells me about celebrating her 17th birthday Saturday.

I walk off to Franz lecture hall 1718 at 2:45 and sit next to an edgy novelist (Diana Wagman) I met a year ago at a Mediabistro party. "The Outsiders: Independent Film Today" boasts panelist-authors Peter Biskind, Marshall Fine, David Kipen, Kenneth Turan and moderator Rocky Lang.

(On Saturday, Wagman moderated "Fiction: Pushing the Envelope" with Susie Bright, Dennis Cooper, Craig Ferguson and Karen Finley. Karen takes herself and her work enormously seriously and non-confrontational Wagman had her limits tested keeping Ferguson and Finley from breaking out into a fist fight or rough sex or some intensely physical interaction forbidden by our holy Torah.).

Kipen has the appalling manners to eat a complete meal while serving on the panel. He stuffs his face with several different dishes, but pauses at times to wipe his face and weigh in with his opinions.

I've seen a hundred or so panels in my life, and even witnessed the painful spectacle of panelists chewing gum while pouring out their views, but I've never seen anybody eat while on a panel. Who raised David Kipen? Wolves? Aborigines?

Turan has the bad luck to sit next to Kipen and watches him appalled.

Kenneth becomes real to me for the first time. He's eloquent and passionate. He says Capote, Brokeback Mountain and the other Oscar nominees for Best Picture are not studio films (even if they are distributed by studios). Studios are only making popcorn films. Capote and company are truly challenging difficult independent films.

Biskind's making great progress on his forthcoming biography of Warren Beatty.

He says that the nineties generation is far more complacent than their sixties and seventies counterparts, which may account for why they have not made as many great movies.

I leave at 3:40 p.m. for Hillel's first People of the Book festival then wait around for 20 minutes for the late-starting panel discussion (theoretically between Ruth Ellenson, Aimee Bender, Lori Gottlieb, and Amy Klein) on the great new book The Modern Jewish Girl's Guide to Guilt.

Moderator Tobin Belzer, author and sociologist, sets the tone for the discussion by confessing she feared that this book would "perpetuate negative stereotypes of Jewish women" and she was relieved that it instead "reclaimed [gobbledygook I could not understand]."

I want to jump up and sing like Michael Jackson: "One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, girl."

I can tell you've been hurt by that look on your face girl.
Someone brought safety to your happy world.
You need love but you're afraid that if you give in,
Someone else will come along and sock it to ya again.

Amy Klein talks about victimhood vs empowerment.

I'm not sure of the fitting pop lyric accompaniment.

Ruth Ellenson does 60% of the talking on the panel and everything she says sounds like she's said it 75 times before, which is not fresh and exciting for me.

I know that I'm not always fresh and exciting but I can wish, can't I?

Lori Gottlieb says 84 words over the totality of the panel, which is about 972 fewer than I wanted to hear from her.

For the first time in her adult life, she's joining a temple so she can provide her five-month-old boy a community.

She has a book coming out from St. Martins (not the one in the fields) on dating.

Oh, the books I could inspire her to if she'd only give me a chance.

Lori bought sperm on the Internet to get pregnant. Her mom asked her if the sperm was Jewish.

Ruth suggests that being Jewish is not Aimee's top priority, but rather number eight.

Aimee's taken aback. She says it is about number four.

Ruth implies that this is the first generation of Jewish women with freedom.

A woman around 50 in the audience suggests that it was the seventies generation (when the first women were ordained rabbis).

Lori says the "cohesive being of all the essays in the book is ambivalence."

Amy says that "the struggle of the modern American Jew is to find meaning."

Ruth got the idea for the book while sitting in her grandmother's church and feeling mixed up.

She knew that "in the wrong hands, [this topic] would perpetuate a stereotype."

Yes, these people really do talk this way and think this way. I'm not caricaturing.

Ruth is asked what she edited out of the book. She said she wondered about including Ayelet Waldman's ambivalence towards Israel in a Jewish book. In the end, she included it.

Sheesh, that she even gave the matter a second thought disturbs me. In such a book, your sole agenda has to be be truth, not public relations and "not perpetuating stereotypes."

The book is being translated into Hebrew for sale in Israel. I expect many there (who risk their lives daily to be Jewish) will find significant sections of it shallow.

Ruth is asked why no men were included in the book. She says that Philip Roth wrote Portnoy's Complaint. "I don't think it gets much better than that."

I doubt there'll ever be a male anthology over Jewish guilt because men complain less and feel less comfortable being so vulnerable.

Aimee Bender says "some of the guilt needs to lift for this book to exist."

That led to my question: "Did you write about the things you feel most guilty about, and if not, why not?"

There's nervous laughter from the panelists.

Tobin Belzer says that would be too much information. Such matters are private.

Amy says she doubts people would be interested in reading what she ate that day.

Ruth (whose father Rabbi David Ellenson runs America's Reform movement through its Hebrew Union College seminary and knows more Torah and halacah (Jewish law) than his counterparts at Jewish Theological Seminary and Yeshiva University while Ruth's mother, or mother's mother, belongs to the Daughters of the American Revolution) relates that Rebecca Goldstein told her that she feels most guilty that her sister died while she lives.

Ruth asked her: "Does that affect your Jewish identity?"

No.

What's most interesting in these type of confessional books (whether they are posed as fiction or nonfiction) are the slivers of light they shed into the writer's real story, not the story they are peddling for public consumption.

I love the book but many of the essays feel too easy rather than painfully honest.

Ruth, in one of her practiced soundbytes, says that Jews in America are simply white, in the same way that Italians and the Irish are now regarded as white. That Catholics have followed a similar path to the Jews from marginalization to mainstream. "Catholics are more screwed up about sex."

Ruth says the most interesting responses to her book (which made it to The Los Angeles Times Best Seller list) have come from black women.

Women in the audience spontaneously share their feelings and the panel degenerates into a female support group.

A blonde from Israel goes on and on and on. "I'm having such a wonderful time. Thank you for the gift."

Another woman: "I wish I was at a party with all the writers."

Do these audience yakkers give any consideration to the interest level of the rest of the audience in their feelings? Mine is infinitesimal.

The audience is about 70% male.

I want a good fight to break out among the panelists. I'd like mud wrestling, but I'd settle for Amy breaking into tears.

Klein came to the painful realization "that the perfect husband doesn't necessarily want his equal. Maybe he wants a ditzy girl."

I'm not sure which will arrive first -- my sense of compassion, the Messiah or Amy Klein's book on JDate.

Amy looks great. Her face is fresh and sunburned. Leaving the managing editor position at the Jewish Journal is good for her. Fewer kvetchy Jews to deal with and more opportunities to do what she loves -- read Lukeford.net, write and pursue an MFA (masters degree in Fine Arts).

I remind myself that it is a condition of my parole to give Amy at least 20 feet at all times but my stalker instincts overcome my superego and we engage in a few seconds of conversation before she flees with her panelist girlfriends (Ruthie Ellenson and co).

After the panel, Hillel serves a complimentary kosher dinner (falafel, fresh fruit, cookies) and there's nothing I love better than a free meal when I'm hungry (except for something I can't mention on this family-oriented website).

Guys tell me they saw me in the LA Weekly (The Xxxorcist) but no hot chix say the same thing so what's the point?

Roxanne, you don't have to put on your red light.

6:30 p.m. Amy Wilentz and Kenneth Turan wander in. They're beat. They want to be left alone until their 7 p.m. panel. Then, with Dr. David Myers, they put on a dazzling display of literary erudition.

At the beginning, an audience member tells Turan, "We're so excited."

He replies, "That won't last."

Not true.

Dr. Myers gives a provocative opening talk. He wonders if Jews are no longer people of the book but people of the buck.

Amy: "John Updike could've been the premiere American writer except for Jews such as Philip Roth (and Saul Bellow)." She says Updike followed in Roth's footsteps and engaged in Rothian themes.

Updike wrote a series of books about Henry Bech, a Jewish novelist.

Amy wonders why the dominant American Jewish writers used to be men but now they're mainly women.

Rabbi Chaim Seidler-Feller says that women are still outsiders.

Myers talks about the post-assimilation generation grappling to reclaim Jewish tradition from books.

Amy says that for her to feel whole and empowered is not to feel so Jewish.

She's sometimes called a "self-hating Jew." She describes herself as a "Palestinian sympathizer."

She says Proust was an outsider in two ways - he was Jewish and he was a homosexual. Therefore he's a Jewish writer and Remembrance of Things Past is a Jewish book.

A hot brunette Hillel director (who introduces and concludes the panel) sits close to scholar J. Shawn Landres. Some guys have all the luck.

Shawn asks about non-American, non-Israel Jewish literature.

"There isn't any," jokes Turan.

Amy: "If you are not dual, you are not going to write great fiction."

Amy says Allegra Goodman writes for a Jewish audience and therefore loses her. Older Jewish writers such as Roth and Bellow wrote for the world.

It's mentioned that Israelis purchase more books per capita than anyone.

A friend calls me Sunday night: "Did you hit on any hot chicks at the festival today?"

Luke: "No. I struck out.

"No, I didn't even get to the plate."

Friend: "You're just hitting on the wrong women."

Luke: "I wasn't even hitting. I wasn't even in the ballgame."

I'm told I'd like Diana Wagman's book Spontaneous because "it's about incestuous lesbian sisters."

Aperpos of nothing: "We have too many absent fathers on earth to begin to even entertain the thought of having no Father in heaven." (Dennis Prager)